Ally PRIDE is Important Too

Pride month is over, yet the work for equality is year-round, as is the work of allies. August 8 is International Allyship Day and I’m happy to proclaim that I am a proud ally.

 I have been an ally for a long time. I grew up in a family that was supportive of LGBTQ+ people—my parents met at UC Berkeley and were liberal, open-minded, and fun! When I was a child, my dad invited members of the Montrose Singers (now Pride Chorus Houston) to our house from time to time. We lived across the street from Ruth Denney and her partner. Ruth was lesbian and founded the Kinder High School for Performing and Visual Arts. Being gay was no big deal to us since a variety of people who loved a variety of people were always a part of our lives.

 As I got older, I began to understand more about how society views and labels people as “straight” and “gay” and now was my chance to learn from my mom, a PhD psychologist who taught that sexual preference was on a continuum and that around ten percent of the population was gay (a figure that fluctuates). Longtime gay activist Ray Hill was one of her students and said that he was so grateful for her research. It helped him feel “normal” and backed up his anecdotal knowledge that being gay was not a choice. Before he died, he talked about my mom every time he and I crossed paths.

 I recently saw a Facebook post that pointed out how demeaning “straight” is—as if being gay was “crooked.” Words matter, y’all, and that challenge makes sense. I wish we lived in a world where we did not have to define our sexuality, a world where that was a private matter and a private choice. Or a world in which heterosexuals came out to their parents! Imagine if the “coming out” in families was a child saying they loved the opposite gender, that the “norm” was being gay!

 Years ago, I was a huge fan of the 1972 album Free to Be… You and Me by Marlo Thomas. She sang this great song with Mel Brooks that challenged gender stereotypes, “Boy Meets Girl.” It impacted me when I was nine years old and I’ve never forgotten it. Years ago, my friend’s son wanted a mermaid doll … badly. She bought it for him and he had fun. Boys can play with dolls and girls can play with trucks. So what?!

PRIDE is known for rainbows and love, but the Stonewall riots of 1969 were the horrific event that birthed its movement. I could not find a pivotal moment that birthed the Ally movement, but I know for sure that allies have been there all along. We are needed. People who are marginalized and demonized need those who are not to speak out. SILENCE=DEATH was another important movement that started in 1987 in response to the AIDS crisis. Speaking out has always been the cornerstone of change.

I have had many gay friends over the years, and I am on the same vibe with them—we are fun, colorful, irreverent. I love them! However, not everyone does. As our country moves backward with legal protections and forward with hatred for the LGBTQ+ community, my PRIDE has increased. And two incidents this year ignited a new level of PRIDE. I was at an art car event with my IGGY THE IGNITER car and a middle schooler saw my PRIDE sticker. He whispered to his friend that was for “man on man sex” and that it was gross. I did not hear him say that, but my fellow art car artist did, and she immediately reported it to the teacher. We didn’t have time to discuss it, but I hope some learning occurred. It is regrettable, though not unexpected, that instances of “othering” were present even at such an early age.

When Tammi Wallace of the Greater Houston LGBTQ+ Chamber of Commerce returned from a challenging visit to Israel that involved the bombing of Tel Aviv and a secure passage through Jordan, I expressed my admiration on her Facebook post by commenting, “I am proud to know you.”  A stranger (“Plc Rides”) replied with “Sarah Gish, atheist trash,hey have fun burning in hell supporting homosexual shit,you piece of shit” (their punctuation). I checked out his page and he looked like a cowBOY, with all its attendant toxic masculinity. I am guessing one who is latently gay. I could not check his page as it is not there anymore. I am hoping my reporting on his comment banned him.

Ally PRIDE is about standing up for LGBTQ+ people. And about seeing their truth and seeing who they are and being in community with them. We live in a hetero-normative country where being anything but hetero is brave. As Lady Gaga sang, “I was born to be brave … I was born this way.” I want to support all who are standing up and declaring “I was born this way!” and I want to encourage all who are afraid. We allies are there for you and we allies love you.

If you are interested in learning about how to be a PRIDE ally, click here for the Human Rights Campaign’s guide.