Arts & Entertainment

Don’t Wait Just Tell Us

Doing it “in” the alley: well, actually, Paula Poundstone will be doing it (her benefit show for the Friends of the Houston Public Library) “at” the Alley Theatre on August 27.

Cryptic comedian Paula Poundstone returns to Houston

By Nancy Ford

There’s no arguing the fact that gays and lesbians—mostly lesbians—have bolstered Paula Poundstone’s stand-up comedy career for decades. Her devotion to a single adoptive motherhood (three kids, eleven cats) led most fans to reasonably believe that Poundstone herself is likely a lesbian.

Not true. Though she doesn’t actually use the word “asexual,” there’s little point denying that that’s exactly how the comedy diva classifies her sexuality—at least for now.

“I don’t date. I don’t have sex,” the comic told Go Magazine’s Dasha Snyder in a 2008 interview. “I don’t know what I am and I don’t much care. I used to think there was something horribly wrong with me that I wasn’t interested in sex or partnering or anything. I must be the oddest bird in the water. And finally, I don’t know how old I was when I figured it out, that it was like the greatest blessing of a lifetime! I don’t have an extra minute of the day to pursue anything. I figure when my kids are functioning adults, by golly [laughing] I’m go to go looking for love. Until then—I’m so not like the rest of the world, which I used to think was this real sad, bad thing. I used to say that my insides must have looked like a Warner Bros. cartoon background: I could just picture the electrical outlet with a cord laying just near it, not plugged in. And I thought if I had surgery I could be, you know, ignited. Now, I’m perfectly happy just how I am.”

Still, she doesn’t say what kind of love—gay or straight—she’ll pursue when the kids are grown. C’mon, Paula. Let your bird spread its wings and swim.

A regular panelist on National Public Radio’s Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me and a national spokesperson for the Association of Library Trustees Advocates Friends & Foundations, Poundstone returns to Houston for a performance benefiting Friends of the Houston Public Library on August 27 at 8 p.m. Alley Theatre, 615 Texas Ave. • • 713/220-5700. More:


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