Fifty Years of Love: Thomas and Daniel Celebrate a Life Lived Out Loud

On a Sunday afternoon in 1975, two strangers met at the Woodward Bar in Detroit, Michigan. Thomas Chelena, in town for a clergy meeting, had stopped in for a cocktail. Daniel Malachowski, recovering from a picnic, was propped against the piano bar, “trying to initiate some contact.”

“And there he was,” Daniel recalls. “From there, I had to take him dancing at a disco bar. From there, we proceeded home. And that was history.”

“We just went for it and never thought about the past or the future,” Thomas adds. “It was like steamrolling the rest of our life.”

Nearly 50 years later, that spark has never dimmed. On May 3, the couple will celebrate their golden anniversary in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Surrounded by friends, chosen family, and supporters from across the five decades they have shared together, they’ll commemorate a journey marked by deep love and enduring activism.

Over the years, the couple has never shied away from celebrating milestones, especially with flair. Their 25th anniversary in 2000 was a full-out affair in Downtown Houston. “We were living out loud, let me tell you,” Thomas exclaims.

The couple hosted a sit-down banquet at the Hyatt, where guests donned bridal gowns and bridesmaid dresses before heading to a nearby gay club. “The staff was just amazing,” Daniel recalls. “They fluffed our wedding gowns and opened the doors, and we came in and brought the place down.”

But their story is more than sequins and celebration. For the first 15 years of their relationship, Thomas was a practicing Catholic priest. That double life became untenable in the late ’80s during the church’s widespread purges. “There was a case of [pedophilia] in the area, and they connected me and my being gay,” Thomas explains. Neither was involved in that case, but it brought unwanted and unwarranted attention to the couple. “Everything was fine until it became public that we were a couple. It was horrific. It was just a terrible, terrible experience.”

“His picture was on the front page of the Cleveland Press,” Daniel adds. “Even though I had an accounting degree, I was working for Kroger at $5 an hour. I borrowed $5,000, got in my beat-up Mazda, and decided to go to Houston.”

Eventually, Thomas followed him to Texas, and the two began rebuilding. “In a way, it really changed our life for the better because we were out from under the rule of the church,” Daniel says. “We were already interested in Science of Mind and went to the metaphysical church, which we still belong to now. So it was life-changing.”

In Houston, they thrived. They joined the Gay Men’s Chorus, embraced metaphysical spirituality, and threw legendary pre-Pride parties at their home, which is fondly remembered as “The Pink House on Bomar Street.”

“We had so many parties,” Thomas laughs. “There was one party that we had, and somebody said, ‘Do you know so-and-so?’ And we said, ‘No.’ They said, ‘Well, this person is here.’ And it turns out he had just followed the crowd inside. So we said, ‘Have your cocktail, but after that you should leave.’”

Thomas also joined the OutSmart sales team, where he coined and helped to popularize the now-iconic “Pink Sheep of the Family” slogan. “Instead of being the black sheep, the one that’s ousted from the family, we’re the pink sheep,” Daniel laughs. “We even had T-shirts made.”

Their commitment to community and visibility has never wavered. From serving as section captains for the Names Project AIDS Memorial Quilt to marching under the mile-long rainbow flag during the 25th anniversary of Stonewall in New York City, the two have always shown up and shown out with courage, color, and love. “After it got a couple of blocks long, [the flag] had a life of its own. You didn’t have to touch it,” Daniel remembers. “It floated across. You stood back in awe that it was like a living thing. It was marvelous.”

“You just have to keep reminding yourself, remember who you are and live that way,” Thomas says. “Out loud.”

As they reflect on their anniversary, gratitude is their guiding theme. “It’s an overwhelming feeling of, oh my goodness, are we fortunate? How grateful we are,” Thomas shares. “We are so grateful, especially for all of those who supported us.”

That support has come from many corners: affirming churches, accepting families, beloved friends, and the communities they’ve called home. “Self-affirmation is essential,” Thomas says, “but affirmation from friends is really, really important as well.”

Their May 3 celebration isn’t just a party. It’s truly a powerful statement. “You wonder how long we’re all going to be challenged,” Thomas says. “I didn’t think we were going to need to do this, but the anniversary party will be a reminder that we still need to live out loud.”

“And just like we were involved supporting ACT UP, we can’t be quiet now,” Daniel adds. “I think their slogan is very important today: Silence equals death. See how things have gone backwards now under Trump. It’s a dangerous time.”

To younger LGBTQIA+ couples navigating love and identity, the couple offers sage wisdom. “Don’t waste any time. Grab the opportunity,” Thomas urges.

“You can’t mold somebody else. You have to be your own person,” Daniel says. “And be involved. Find a club, join an organization. Be yourself, and you will get support.”

“You have to give each other space,” Thomas adds. “That individual journey certainly supports your companionship with someone else.”

And for couples wondering how to build something that lasts?

“Don’t doubt who you are,” Thomas says. “Don’t question your authenticity.”

“Get ready for the ride of your life,” Daniel adds with a grin. “Hang on.”