CALENDAR DECEMBER

Daily (Mon.-Fri.)

HIV Testing. HCHD Thomas Street Clinic is offering HIV testing free to the public, 9 am-1 pm. There is no need to establish eligibility ("gold-card"), no donation will be asked of the person seeking testing, and the test is free. Thomas Street Clinic, 2015 Thomas, 713/873-4157 or 713/873-4026.

Daily (Mon.-Sat.)

HIV Testing. The Montrose Clinic offers free confidential HIV testing at these flocations. Monday: Bricks, 617 Fairview, 4-8 pm; Keys West, 817 W. Dallas, 8 pm-midnite; Club Xcape, 2612 South Richey, 9 pm-midnite. Tuesday: The 611 Club, 611 Hyde Park, 4-8 pm; The Briar Patch, 2294 W. Holcombe, 8 pm-midnite; The Club Houston, 2205 Fannin, 8 pm-midnite. Wednesday: Mary's, 1022 Westheimer, 4-8 pm; Houston Lesbian & Gay Community Center, 803 Hawthorne, 6-9 pm; Ripcord, 715 Fairview, 9 pm-midnite; EJ's, 2517 Ralph, 10 pm-1 am; Midtowne Spa, 3100 Fannin, 10 pm-1 am. Thursday: The Outpost, 1419 Richmond, 4-8 pm; Brazos River Bottom, 2400 Brazos, 8 pm-midnite; Cousins, 817 Fairview, 8 pm-midnite; Toyz Disco, 5322 Glenmont, 10 pm-1 am. Friday: Club Escandalo, 2053 Wirt, 8-10 pm; Viviana's, 5219 Washington, 10 pm-midnite; Midtowne Spa, 3100 Fannin, 10 pm-1 am; Club Kalipso, 6806 Longpoint, midnite-2 am. Saturday: Club Inergy, 5750 Chimney Rock, 9 pm-midnite. The clinic offers classes for those newly diagnosed with HIV or Hepatitis C. For more info: 713/830-3000.

7 (Sat.)

Aurora Bazaar and Cakewalk. Join the Aurora Picture Show (center for film, video, & new media) for this 3rd annual event, which features crafts & baked goods lovingly made by just about anyone who attends Aurora Picture Show. One-of-a-kind art objects, handmade soap, holiday cards, handcrafted felt purses, crocheted items, hand towels, embroidered cocktail napkins, soft sculpture, jewelry, candles, pottery, clocks, baskets, and more! 10 am-4 pm @ Mixture Contemporary Art, 1709 Westheimer (next door to Brasil). For more information: 713/868-2101 or www.aurorapictureshow.org.

7 & 8 (Sat. & Sun.)

Open Studio. Join water-color artist, author, & teacher Catherine Anderson in an exhibition & sale of her works & those of her students. Includes original works of art & prints. Art, wine, & cheese, & lots of laughs. Part of the sales are being donated to the DePelchin Children's Center. 10 am-6 pm @ Studio in the Heights and Gallery, 412 E. 25th St. For more info: 713/864-0705 or www.catherineanderson.net.

8 (Sun.)

The Great Flounder Run. The Rainbow Fishing Club will depart from Galveston and navigate through the Ship Channel and Pelican Island as they follow the flounder out of the bayous & bays on their journey out to sea (at a pace of about 1/3 of a mile per day). October is the month when the flounder are most hungry; however, as fall sets in and the temperatures drop, they travel to the Gulf, where they will be insulated from the cold as they take care of their annual spawning. The club will depart the Galveston Yacht Basin at 1 pm. The cost is $60 (rod, tackle, & bait provided). For more info: Scott at 832/971-4900.

8 (Sun.)

Fabu 2002 is a holiday party presented by Members of Operation Donation (M.O.O.D.) to benefit Make-A-Wish Foundation. Attire: Fabu-lous. 7-10 pm @ Farrago's Restaurant, 302 W. Gray (after party at VII Lounge, located across from Farrago's). Ticket required at the door. Ticket inquiries: 713/529-7881. For more info on the Make-A-Wish Foundation: www.wish.org/texgulf.

10 (Fri.)

Duende: Demon of Inspiration is presented by Da Camera of Houston. There is something rich & strange in all great works of art. Poet & critic Edward Hirsch has discovered one crucial source of this mysterious power in Federico Garc’a Lorca's image of duende, a trickster of Spanish folklore who is also a figure of dark inspiration. Hear duende at work in an evening of Spanish music & poetry. Hirsch explores the eerie, highly poetent power of creativity that infuses & drives certain necessary works of art. Lorca's own folk songs & the music he loved demonstrate the power of duende in music. 7:30 pm @ the Menil Collection, 1515 Sul Ross. Tickets ($30; half price for students and seniors with valid ID) are available by contacting the Da Camera Music Center, 1427 Branard, at 713/524-5050 or online at www.dacamera.com.

12 & 17 (Thu. & Tue.)

Family to Family Adoptions, Inc., a nonprofit licensed agency, is offering a free adoption seminar discussing how to adopt a child in less than one year. They currently have programs in the U.S., Guatemala, Bulgaria, Russia, & other countries. They work with single men, single women, & couples 25 to 65 years of age. Everyone will be given a free informational packet. On the 12th: 6:30-8:30 pm, Methodist Hospital, 16655 Southwest Freeway, Sugar Land. On the 17th: 1-4 pm @ Family to Family Adoptions, 1000 Austin St., Ste. B, Richmond, TX. For more info: call 713/249-5941; e-mail info@fam2fam.org or Fam2fam@aol.com; or visit www.fam2fam.org.

14 (Sat.)

Friendly Doggies-Artist Jim Tweedy comes to Houston for a holiday open house at Hollywood Frame Gallery. Check out the selection of his new "Friendly Doggies" original works & prints starting at $50. If you've been barking up the wrong Christmas tree for a gift, now's your chance to get it right @ Hollywood Frame Gallery, 2431 Bissonnet, 713/942-8885.

14 (Sat.)

Texas Crime Writers. It's a book-signing event with three Texas crime writers: Chloe Green, Jan Grape, and Elizabeth Dearl. In Green's book, Fashion Victim, Dallas O'Connor shapes the look of an all-girl band in the Caribbean, where trouble is closer than she can imagine. Dearl, who has worked as a security guard, a police officer, & numerous other jobs, has added author to the list; her two mystery novels are Diamondback & Twice Dead. Jan Grape, who has five mystery award nominations, sees the publication of her first short-story collection, Found Dead in Texas, this month. Catch them at 4:30 pm @ Murder by the Book, 2342 Bissonnet, 713/524-8597, www.murderbooks.com.

14 (Sat.)

800 Pacific Customer Appreciation Party. Reduced drink prices & reduced cover at JR's Bar & Grill, Montrose Mining Company, & South Beach. 9-11 pm. For more info: 713/529-SOBE or 713/521-0107.

15 (Sun.)

Going to Austin? The Austin Babtist Women, an all-male, all-volunteer comedy troupe, are staging their 16th annual holiday spectacular. They have headlined events across the nation this year, performed on Broadway, and even been recognized by both the city of Austin and Texas Legislature for their accomplishments. Now during their 16th anniversary year, they are taking their unique brand of comedy back home to Austin for a special fundraising event to benefit the Wright House Wellnes Center. The evening begins at 7 pm with an hour of national & local comedy talent. The Austin Babtist Women will take the stage at 8 pm. Special prize packages, including weekend getaways, dinners, theme park & event tickets will be raffled during the evening. The Austin Babtist Women tour Texas and the United States to raise much-needed funds for AIDS, HIV, & breast-cancer charities. The members pay for all their own travel & performance costs, allowing every penny raised at the events to benefit the designated charities. Since their inception in 1986, they have been a part of raising almost $5 million through their performances. Admission to all the evening's events & entertainment is free, but donation to the Wright House Wellness Center will be graciously accepted. It all takes place at the Rainbow Cattle Company, 305 West 5th St. in downtown Austin. More info: www.babtistwomen.com or call the Rainbow Cattle Company at 512/472-5288.

20 & 21 (Fri. & Sat.)

Dance Gallery. In this new work, Lori Yuill explores the relationships between dance, the viewer, & the space in which the dance is performed, creating a realm of fantasy & suspended time. Tickets $15 (members $10). 8 pm @ DiverseWorks, 1117 East Freeway. For 24-hour reservations, call 713/335-3445 or visit www.diverseworks.org.

21 (Sat.)

Wellness & Psychic Expo. Explore alternative healthcare medicine & products, including vitamins & magnets. Try aromatherapy, acupressure, reflexology, & more. 1-5 pm @ CenterPoint, 1920 Hollister. Entry $2. For more info: 713/932-7224 or www.center pointhouston.com. Also: yoga, t'ai chi, pilates, feng shui, & meditation, all starting Dec. 2.

PLANNING AHEAD FOR JANUARY

January 13 (Mon.)

Alone Again? This workshop is about picking up the pieces after it all falls apart. Learn how to identify the drama & eliminate it; deal with anger, fear, guilt, & loneliness; raise self-esteem; and much more. The 5-week workshop is conducted by Donnie Day; cost is $150 and starts at ground zero on Jan. 13 and raps up with dating & sex on Feb. 10 (6:30-8:30 pm) @ 4040 Milam, ste. 310 (above Fitness Exchange). Info/registration: 713/467-8748 or e-mail donnie@donnieday.com.

PERFORMING ARTS

• Killer Karaoke and Come Up and Slay Me Sometime are presented by Mystery CafŽ, home of Comedy Murder Mystery Dinner Theater. • Killer Karaoke: The Gulf Coast Regional Semi-Final Three Steps Before National Silver Microphone Karaoke Competition will continue, despite an "accidental" fire and a crazed karaoke serial killer stalking the contestants. Anybody who's actually listened to karaoke will probably side with the killer, if they can figure his or her identity. • Come Up and Slay Me Sometime: Bathtub gin isn't the only illegal thing going on in this 1920s floating speakeasy-there's a dead body lying around, and nobody can call the cops. Featuring special appearances by Mae West, Charles Lindbergh, and Abraham Lincoln. • Killer Karaoke plays Fridays; Come Up and Slay Me Sometime plays Saturdays. Both shows are presented at 8 pm @ Marriott West Loop, 1750 West Loop South at San Felipe. Reservations required: 713/944-2583 or www.mysterycafe houston.com.

• Over the River and through the Woods. Nick's parents have moved to Florida and his sister to California, but he still lives in New York City and visits his Italian immigrant grandparents-both sets-for dinner every Sunday. This week Nick faces a dilemma: He'd like to tell his grandparents that he's been offered a job in another city, but he can't get a word in edgewise. He faces an uphill battle in trying to extircate himself from these loving but exasperating family ties. Through Dec. 15 @ Main Street Theater in Rice Village, 2540 Times Blvd. Tickets are $20-$30. For more info: 713/524-6706 or www.mainstreet theater.com.

• Sabrina Fair deals with the involvement of a man and woman. He's from a very wealthy family; she's the daughter of the family's chauffeur. Tickets $15 (students/seniors $13). Through Dec. 7 @ The Country Playhouse, 12802 Queensbury, 713/467-4497.

• Sing-A-Long Sound of Music. This hit interactive musical has had audiences literally singing in their seats since its debut in 1999. If you've ever been to a musical film and had the uncontrollable urge to burst spontaneously into song, now's your chance. Step into the film by singing along . . . let your inner diva surface along with hundreds of fellow sing-along stars as you proudly sing along to such favorites as "Do-Re-Mi" or "Climb Ev'ry Mountain." Dress in costume if you dare -a costume parade is part of the pre-show warm-up. Tickets $10-$25. 7 pm on Thurs., Fri., & Sat., and 2 pm on Sat. & Sun., Dec. 26-29 @ Galveston's Grand 1894 Opera House, 2001 Postoffice, 800/821-1894, www.thegrand.com.

• Top Gun! The Musical. Singing. Satire. Subtext. All at Mach 3! If you see only one musical comedy about mounting a mega-musical based on the movies, make it Top Gun! The Musical. You'll laugh. You'll hum. You'll believe a jet can fly! (This is worth seeing for the title alone!) Fridays & Saturdays at 8 pm, through Dec. 14 @ Theatre LaB Houston, 1706 Alamo. (There are two Sunday matinees, Dec. 1 & 8 at 5 p.m.) Tickets $20 in advance, $22 at the door. To reserve tickets: 713/868-7516. More info: www.theaterlabhouston.com.

RADIO

• After Hours. Saturdays, midnight to 3 am. Featuring the QMZ (Queer Music Zone) with Jimmy Carper. KPFT 90.1 FM, 713/526-5738.

• Queer Voices. Mondays, 8-10 pm. Features, news, music, interviews, reviews, and commentary. KPFT 90.1 FM, 713/526-4000.

ART/PHOTOGRAPHY

• The Art of Wood. Contemporary wood artists create works that emphasize the sculptural nature of wood. National & local artists will be represented with diverse works. Dec. 4-Jan. 5 @ Houston Center for Contemporary Craft, 4848 Main St., 713/529-4848, www.crafthouston.org.

• Asian Vision. Thai artist Ithipol Thangchalok's decisive & intricate strokes, which focus on the power of nature and light, are energizing and have an electrifying feel. The semi-abstract works of Thai artist Tawatchai Somkong capture the true essence of the metaphysical world, revealing his journey in India for many years. Singapore artist Syed Mahmood Aljunied's works reveal the power of dancing waves and the flight of nature. Japanese artist Kyoko Ebina's "Person's Desires" captures the human search for self-expression. Chinese artist Yang Jin Long's fresh & colorful pieces are deep yet subtle. All of these works are presented by Iklektik Designs through Dec. 7 @ Mo Mong, 1201 Westheimer, #B, 713/524-5664. For more info on the artists: Iklektik Designs at 713/647-8542 or visit their website at www.iklektik.com.

• In Memoriam 9/11 features recent works by painter Dee Wolf. The delicate works reflect on the events surrounding 9/11. Free. 9 am-8 pm, Mondays-Thursdays; 9 am-5 pm on Fridays; 10 am-4 pm on Saturdays. Dec. 3-20 @ The Jung Center, 5200 Montrose, 713/524-8253.

• Oh DAM! 10 Years of Dyke Action Machine! Carrie Moyer & Sue Schaffner's Dyke Action Machine (DAM!) is a public art collaboration which critiques mainstream culture by inserting lesbian images into a recognizably commercial context. Massively distributed posters & ads mimic movie posters, Gap ads, & public service announcements and have been a seamless part of New York City's visual landscape for over 10 years. Through Dec. 14 @ DiverseWorks, 1117 East Freeway, 713/335-3445, www.diverseworks.org.

• Roxy Paine/Second Nature focuses on two distinct-yet-interrelated bodies of Paine's work: monumental art-making machines & naturalistic, botanical environments. These two types of work illustrate a reversal between the artist, whose repetitive processes are machinelike, and machines, which are programmed to emulate human art-making. Through Jan. 12, 2003, & the Contemporary Arts Museum, 5216 Montrose Blvd., 713/284-8255, www.camh.org.

• UN Real Estates is the first national touring solo exhibition of new work by the award-winning Cuban American artist Maria Elena Gonzalez. The gallery becomes a landing zone for sculptural "flying carpets" that double as mobile real estate and inspire thoughts of freedom, flight, ascension, & desire. Through Dec. 14 @ DiverseWorks, 1117 East Freeway, 713/335-3445, www.diverseworks.org.