Stage Door Lesbian by Blase DiStefano Susann Fletcher, the star of Blood Sucking Pharaohs in Pittsburgh (!) and costar of Annie Get Your Gun, wants Houston’s lesbians to show her the town

Susann Fletcher is presently touring in Annie Get Your Gun with Marilu Henner and Tom Wopat. When the openly gay performer was contacted by OutSmart magazine, she was actually in the middle of another interview. When she was asked if she liked doing one interview after another, she said, "Oh, yes. Every day is like this." After being told that she’s apparently very popular, she replied, "Yes, well, somebody has to be."

OutSmart: I really feel it’s important to start off the interview asking you about Blood Sucking Pharaohs in Pittsburgh. What the hell is that?

Susann Fletcher: [Mocking seriousness] Oh, you mean you missed it?

I missed it.

This is a film I did like 10, oh gosh, it’s been 11 years ago. It was supposed to be kind of like the Airplane of the horror film genre. It was a low-budget independent feature film with all unknowns, and I was the one who went in and solved the murders. Just this real gnat of a character, just like a flea, you just want to swat her away. We shot in Pittsburgh on location. I mean, when they used blood, they used massive amounts of blood, you know, ridiculous amounts of blood.

So it’s a spoof.

Yeah. And it just didn’t quite make it. But then it got reviewed by Variety, and they were comparing it to this other little movie that came out that season called Silence of the Lambs. I read that review and I was like They have cracked. Somebody on eBay was auctioning off a copy, and one of the guys in our company just got it. It’s coming to him, so I guess I am going to be watching it next week sometime.

When was the last time you saw it?

Oh gosh, a long time ago. But like I said, it doesn’t quite make it. It was a valiant effort, and I certainly learned a lot about the medium. Because I had never worked in film before. I had been strictly theatrical, and it was a real crash course because over a six-week period, I was on film every single day.

Yeah, it’s obviously totally different from theater.

Oh, totally different. And a great deal of fun. And in retrospect, when I have seen it, I thought, Well, you know what, considering everything, I can’t walk away with my head down on this one. I did the best I could.

Hey, whenever you do the best you can, that’s fine. Nobody can expect more than that. Even crappy movies ... you think they make them crappy on purpose?

Absolutely not. You know, I did a show called The Goodbye Girl. And we did our out-of-town tryouts in Chicago before we came into New York. Last week we were in Chicago, and this guy is on the elevator with me and I had this jacket on that had The Goodbye Girl on it, and he goes, Ah, The Goodbye Girl (you know, he was definitely a member of our family)–oh, I saw that, augh, augh, and he stuck his fingers down his throat. And I said, "Shut up. We worked hard on that production, what’s the matter with you? What do you want?" And then he says something equally wrong and I flattened him. Then he started to backpedal like crazy.

Good for you. OK, so when did you start Annie Get Your Gun?

We started rehearsals the end of June, but we didn’t go out until the beginning of August. So we had five weeks of rehearsal.

And what were you doing before that?

Actually, during the first week of rehearsals I was still doing a production of The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. And I play Mona in that and I doubled up that first week. Which was really hard. The audition was the week before they started rehearsals.

Boy, I bet that was a little rough there for a week or two.

You know, I should always have this problem–rehearsing one show and performing another at night. You know in the realm of difficult things, that ain’t so bad.

So Annie will be in Houston in December. Have you ever been to Houston?

Yes I have, I think with How to Succeed [in Business Without Really Trying].

Were you able to see the city at all?

I think so.

[Laughter]

And it left a wonderful impact on me [laughter]. I can’t remember it at the moment.

But you know it was great. That’s all that counts.

I had a fabulous time. Seriously, I love it down there. It’s really one of my favorite places to go.

It’s a little warm sometimes.

You know, I’m from Virginia though, so that doesn’t bother me too much. I think along with the warmth, you get very warm people. With a great sense of humor. And you just can’t beat a Southern sense of humor. I’m sorry, there is nothing else like it.

I’ll go along with you on that one.

It’s like we just know how to laugh.

So you were born in Virginia?

Well, let’s just say I’m from Richmond. My father worked for Dupont, so I was born in Wilmington, but that was just a mistake. And both of my parents were Virginians. We moved from Wilmington when I was very young, so it doesn’t have that much to do with who I am at all.

What was your childhood like. Was it rough?

In what respect? Which road are we going down here?

We’re going down the gay road.

OK. I guess my childhood was difficult. My dad died unexpectedly when I was four, and it created an enormous stress on my family. So that kind of colored my entire childhood. And my family was as dysfunctional as any you could find.

Ah, OK, well I get that part.

It just sort of collapsed after that. But I had some safe havens. One was my dancing school. Another was my dance teacher who ended up becoming best friends with my mother. She considered herself as my second mother, and she was very much like Mama Rose, too [from Gypsy]. I mean seriously so. And so she had an enormous impact on my life. She and my mother together, they were like these twin towers that kept me from disappearing. And then I did a lot of sports when I was young. That was my other thing, and that was the pre-lesbian stuff. I had to take dancing because I had almost a club foot and the doctor told my mother to put me in dancing, but I excelled in sports. I was a swimmer, and then as I got older in high school, I played field hockey, of course, and gymnastics and tennis. I was just very athletic. Pretty much anything I touched athletically, I could do. So those two things kept me more out of harm’s way than I could have been. And it gave me a real sense of drive and passion.

I just have to ask, was your gym teacher gay?

Well, you know, at the time ... I mean, you have to remember I’m blah blah blah years old, so...

And how old is blah blah blah?

Oh honey, everybody knows how old I am. I can’t keep it a secret. I am 45. Anyway, at the time, it wasn’t something we really talked about. I mean when I look back, certainly two of my junior high school phys ed teachers were gay. And in high school, no, I don’t think any of my phys ed teachers were gay. Rather, none of my coaches were gay. They were all married. But then I went to an all-women’s college and that was the eye-opening experience. Because until then, it didn’t even occur to me, I had no idea.

OK, back to the present. Has Marilu Henner suggested you stop eating dairy products? [In her new book, Marilu Henner’s Healthy Life Kitchen, Henner says that dairy products are unhealthy. In one interview, she was asked what she thought of those milk mustaches. She said that instead of "Got Milk?" she wants to do one that says "Not Milk."]

You know, we call her Dairy Lou.

[Laughter] That is just too good.

You know, I certainly am eating a lot more healthy than I did, but when I’m asked a question, I always start it with "Not that I’m a convert or anything, but...." I quit smoking about a month ago and I knew that I’d have to figure out a way to not gain any weight because the costumes are corsets. And opposed to the old-fashioned corsets with the ties in the back–you could loosen them and make them whatever–these are zippered. So I can’t gain a pound.

Oh my god, well this is kind of nice then that Dairy Lou happens to be the star of the show, that’s probably...

I sneakily went out and bought her book. I didn’t tell her because I just can’t stand for anybody to be right about anything, you know, except for me. So, I went out and bought her book and [it makes clear that one] for like a couple of weeks, and I thought one of the things that gets me in trouble eating-wise is sugar, of course, and the usual stuff. I’m addicted to sugar and all that stuff. And I was like OK, you’re going to have to stop all that before you stop smoking, so that when you stop smoking, you know that you just can’t eat those things. So that is what I did. So for me it’s been about the stopping smoking–that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

How long had you been smoking?

Oh, off and on forever.

That must have been rough.

Well I did hypnosis and it was easy.

Seriously?

Seriously. I did hypnosis and it was just not that hard. And I gained about three pounds, which is not too bad. So I feel pretty good about that. So I kid her all the time, but you know, she’s a zealot and I can respect that. I don’t want to be a zealot, I want to be healthy. I think that eventually I’ll figure out what does work for me and what doesn’t work for me and I’ll come to a nice...

Compromise, a nice balance.

Yeah, a nice compromise that works for my body.

Is there any truth to the rumor that you and Marilu are dating?

That is so funny because one article that ... oh shoot, I wish I had it with me; it’s at the theater. And it came out in the gay paper in Boston in an interview I did about three weeks ago. And the cover page is like this great big picture of me and the show, and when you fold it into the article, it says something about "Calling All Lesbians," or something like that, and then there’s a picture of Marilu. And I said to her, It’s better that they’re talking about you than not. No, Marilu is very happily married with children. I’m the one lesbian in this show.

Oh, really?

Yes, on-stage and off.

I guess you and Lea DeLaria are the only two.

Cherry Jones.

And Cherry Jones.

And it’s funny, I’ve never even met those two.

It would be fun if the three of you were in a play together.

You know that would be kind of fun, wouldn’t it? Because we’re all very different.

So being in theater and being openly gay is just not a big deal, is it?

No, not really. I mean I’ve made it not a big deal.

Right, you’re just yourself.

I’m just me. I play the character roles; I am the Eve Arden role. You know what I mean? So the pressure is off in that respect.

If you were the star, but even then...

I don’t think it would matter in musical theater so much. I think that, especially with musicals, it’s so much more about ability, because you can’t fake performing live. You just can’t. You either can do it or you can’t. And so it’s a talent, whatever’s there, whatever it is, the spark that gets people to hire you, whatever that is, because there are certainly a million talented people out there. And heck, the last couple times, the last two tours I’ve done ... I can’t believe I just said "heck."

[Laughs] Well, shucks.

[Laughs] The last two shows I’ve done, the press department has really used me as much as they could. Because in the beginning, when you start a show, they send out a press packet for each of us to fill out and I’ve put down, Look, I’m out, if you can use it, please feel free to.

Just so you’ll know, it’s important that you did that, because that’s how I got this interview. I was told that a woman in the show is openly gay.

Right. Well, somebody has to just be out there.

Thank you very much.

Oh...

No, seriously.

But it’s fun for me, too. Hell, I’m in the theater, so I’m needy. I love having people calling me and asking me about my life. You know, what’s not fun about that?

OK, two last questions. You’re stranded on a desert island, and you can have only one person with you, not family, friend or lover. Who would it be?

Gosh, are we talking in terms of....

Whatever you want. I remember someone saying Jesus Christ...

Oh, God, no. I don’t know how good he’d be at building a fire.

[Laughs] Someone said Michelangelo...

Good Lord, these people are so hoity toity.

But then, of course, Sandra Bernhard said Pamela Anderson Lee.

[Laughs] OK, I am going to have to go with my first one–it’s Martina Navratilova. She is very bright, I love the way her mind works, and I know she’d be able to build us a good lean-to at least. And she has a good sense of humor.

OK, now you’re still on that island, and you can only have one movie.

Ohhh, that’s really hard, because I have all these favorite movies that are for different things. Oh man, oh, one that you’d just be watching over and over and over again. Golly, I’d have to say Pillow Talk. Because I just love that movie. And I have seen it over and over again and it just always makes me smile, and the two of them are just magic together.

Oh, that is so neat, I think you’re the first one who’s said a Doris Day/Rock Hudson movie.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

See, that was when I was very young, she made a major impression on me.

Hey, ditto. That is sweet, thank you.

You’re welcome.

Well, this has been so much fun.

Well, likewise.

And I truly appreciate it.

Oh, my pleasure.

And I am looking forward to the show.

Now listen, when you come, please stop back afterwards and introduce yourself to me so I can put a face to a name. And bring along all your girlfriends who are single.

That’s a question I had in here, and I skipped over it because we were talking about something else–our lesbian readers will want to know if you’re in a relationship.

I just ended an eight-year marriage. I just got divorced right before the show started, in fact. It was a heavy-duty thing. We’re still friends. Isn’t that just pathetic, makes me want to vomit, but we are.

I think it’s great.

Actually, this is the first time this has happened, so I think it’s going to stay that way. But I’m among the single gals again, so look out America, look out Houston.

OK, I’m going to let them all know.

That’s right, tell them that I’ll be at the stage door every night after the show, if they want to take me to the local bar, I’ll be glad to check it out.

You got it–it’s going into the interview; in fact, it’s probably going to be in the headline. Thank you so much, Susann.

Thank you, honey. Bye.

Annie Get Your Gun plays December 19—24 at Jones Hall. Tickets are $31.25—$56.25 and are available at all Ticketmaster locations or by calling 713/629-3700.