MOVIES ON DVD and vhs

"Life is a banquet"

Auntie Mame and her philosophy lead this month's smorgasbord of movies on DVD/VHS

• AUNTIE MAME

Your 21st-century survival kit probably already has a bombproof vest, a couple of kegs of Ozarka, and an antidote to all of Saddam Hussein's pet viruses. Let me recommend that you also include the new DVD release of 1959's top movie moneymaker, Auntie Mame, one of the funniest movies ever made. You might also want to include a DVD player and a power source.

Patrick Dennis's Auntie Mame gave Rosalind Russell the greatest role of her career, both on stage and in this film version.

It's not exactly a gay movie, but somehow it's one of the gayest (read: campiest) movies ever made, with classic lines like "Please dahling, your Auntie Mame is hung"! My own favorite line is delivered by the brilliant Joanna Barnes, who, as snotty Gloria Upson, asks, "What's wrong with Muriel Puce?" (You have to hear it in context.) Auntie Mame, like some of the classic "screwball" comedies of the '30s, never ages; it just gets better every time you see it.

DVD extras include the original Auntie Mame trailer and (masochists, take note) the trailer for Lucille Ball's wretched 1974 movie version of Mame the Broadway musical.

(To those with more than a passing interest in the 'history" of Auntie Mame, I suggest trying to find Uncle Mame, Eric Myers' superb biography of Everett [Pat] Tanner III [aka Patrick Dennis], whose contribution to camp and general outrageousness extended far beyond his semi-fictional auntie.)

From Warner Home Video. -Jack Varsi

• hairspray

With his 1988 screen comedy Hairspray, director John Waters gave Ricki Lake her film debut, Divine a final role (before her death the next year), and star turns to Debbie Harry, Sonny Bono, Pia Zadora, and Waters vet Mink Stole. Fourteen years later, his tale of dancing teens and integration inspired the current Broadway hit with Harvey Fierstein, cross-dressing for the Divine role of Edna Turnblad. Truly, few films have such queer credentials.

This month, New Line Home Entertainment at last releases Hairspray, the movie, on its own single DVD. In addition to the wide-screen version of the flick, the disc includes audio commentary by Waters and Lake, the original theatrical trailer, cast and crew filmographies, and English subtitles.

The indelible image of Divine in tatty housedress and flip-flop slippers, ironing, still ranks as a marvelously camp moment. ("For all those people who always thought I was nothing more than a drag queen, wait until they see what I agreed to look like in Hairspray," Divine said upon the film's release. "Drag queens are supposed to be hung up on glamour. Not one person on the set recognized me or even noticed me, because I looked like half the women in Baltimore.") Waters has a cameo as a demented aversion-therapy shrink. (Bonus factoid: In 1964, the writer/director used an 8mm camera, a 17th-birthday gift from his grandmother, to make his first film, Hag in a Black Leather Jacket.)

Available November 5 on DVD ($19.98) from New Line Home Entertainment (www.newline.com). -Tim Brookover

• I'LL MAKE YOU HAPPY

The camera, focused on a pair of hands putting on a pair of stockings, pans to the person's underwear. The bulge indicates a bit of transvestism on the part of the wearer. The opening scene of I'll Make You Happy proceeds with Siggy (Jodie Rimmer)-the prostitute the wearer has just boinked-shown stealing some dough from his wallet while he continues to dress. Her expression shows the boredom she feels with her life.

Then there's Siggy's agoraphobic roommate Lester (Carl Bland) whose first appearance in the film is in a botched suicide attempt. He's HIV-positive and considers it a death sentence, unwilling to venture out of the apartment he shares with Siggy. His dream of escaping to a mountaintop in Tibet is not lost on Siggy, who promises to get him there. "I'll make you happy," she tells him. It's fun to watch her trying to make his dream become a reality.

There's a "special appearance" by Lucy Lawless (Xena, Warrior Princess), who utters a couple of lines of dialogue and gives a "what a creep" look to a guy whose pickup lines have been heard a million times before.

The production values aren't the best, and a little more editing might have hurried the story along; however, I'll Make You Happy shouldn't arouse any suicidal thoughts. Actually, it should make you happy.

Available November 27 on VHS and DVD from Ariztical Entertainment. -Blase DiStefano

• THE IRON LADIES

Mon: My father hated me. He called me a "faggot." ... There will never be a day that I will ever love that man.

Pia: You don't have to love him, but you don't have to hate him either, Mon. Hatred only leads to suffering.

Wise words from one of many transgender players on a very unusual volleyball team, The Iron Ladies. This true story of a group of jocks (yes, I use the term loosely) and their lesbian coach is a riot. A little preachy? Yea. A little cliché-ridden? Yea. A little stereotypical? Yea, but what fun it is to watch the faggots win at sports! Watch the catfights! Watch the sissies get rough! Watch makeup save the day!

Winner of the audience award at both the San Francisco and New York lesbian and gay film festivals, The Iron Ladies is available on DVD ($29.99) and VHS ($59.99) from Strand Releasing. -BD