Reminiscences of a Streetwalker A PFLAG mom takes Prop 2 to the street–and finds some encounters both surprising and memorable by Sue Null

I am proud to have walked the streets of Houston.

No, it’s not what you first thought; this 64-year-old blockwalker did not have sex in mind. Instead I tromped with clipboard in hand, supplied by PVA (Progressive Voters in Action) with survey forms for registered voters and a determination to talk to as many people as I could in my middle-class, largely WASP suburb about voting against Proposition 2, the proposed city charter amendment that would prohibit the city of Houston from granting domestic partner benefits to city employees.

I began with nightly blockwalking and followed up with a phone call if the voters were not home. Many people (gay and straight) were unaware of the issue since it didn’t touch their lives personally, and I feel I made some difference in their understanding. I told them that this issue was important to me because I wanted a more equitable world for my gay and lesbian children. At least I knew the precinct was liberal enough to have elected Democrat Scott Hochberg to the state Legislature. In all, I contacted more than 500 people, about 60 percent of whom were willing to oppose the amendment.

When I started my project, I had the misguided attitude that if an elderly person came to the door, I would not find someone favorable to my point of view. Happily, such was often not the case. One old lady of 90, who was very bent over and who could barely hold her head up straight, invited me in to chat and agreed that people spend too much time "judging" others. She would oppose the proposition.

An older man of 80 also invited me in, asked if my children had gone to neighborhood schools (yes, they had) and showed me a child’s photograph and a high school report card of his son, who had been a bright, honor-roll student. The father sadly told me that his son, now 40 years old, had spent the last several years in a hospital in Austin because of schizophrenia. I said that nobody knows why somebody is schizophrenic, just as nobody knows why someone is gay or lesbian and he agreed. He will oppose the proposition.

An 85-year-old woman from New York was fiercely indignant. "Who would try to deny health insurance to anyone? Who are these people?" she asked. Another older woman asked, "Didn’t I see you on TV recently?" Gosh, I thought, she has a better memory than mine. I told her I’d been on Debra Duncan’s show three months ago. "Well," she said, "I’ll think about it."

One woman of 83 said that she would support us, largely because she had known so many wonderful gay people in her life, including her straight daughter’s best friend. Also, she told me the two gay men who lived next door were the best neighbors in the world–on and on she went about these guys, how they had invited her and her husband to a wonderful party–she couldn’t say enough good things about them.

So, buoyed with enthusiasm to meet these fantastic human beings, I cheerfully marched next door to meet the neighbors. To my great amazement, I was met with suspicion. "What are you doing here?" they asked, and started deluging me with questions. "What do you really want? ... We don’t understand why you’re here.... Are you gay? ... What do your children think of your doing this? ... We’ve had people tell us before of issues that would help us, and they were wrong."

I was flabbergasted. As a PFLAG mom, I have been welcomed with open arms in the gay community for years and had never before encountered such hostility. Both of these men were probably in their early 50s, had responsible jobs, and one had grandchildren. They knew nothing about the proposition, had never heard of PFLAG, and didn’t know who Annise Parker was. In other words, they had withdrawn totally from the gay community.

They sounded like the gay version of Jerry Falwell. They told me they were not pro-gay; they were pro-people. They did not believe in gay marriage because they had seen too many "committed" gay relationships fall apart; gays changed partners too quickly. They were not supportive of DP health benefits because they were too open to fraud. Besides, gay people should be strong and stand up for themselves; in other words, get their own health insurance and not ask the city for it. Gay people should be silent and not advertise their gayness. They were embarrassed and irritated that someone would be helping them to get what they should get for themselves.

I left after 15 minutes of this, wondering what had happened in their lives to make them so bitter, so distrustful. I also wondered how many more there were like them.

I wasn’t as surprised at the resistance I often encountered from the straight community. Some people were uncomfortable and said, "I don’t want to talk about it." Others politely said that they were sorry, they couldn’t support the issue. One man said, "No, I don’t want to do anything to encourage that lifestyle." He was not impressed with my response that it wasn’t a lifestyle and there was no way to encourage or discourage it. An elderly lady behind a closed door said, "I am very biblical; I can’t support this." I told her that I hadn’t seen any passage in the Bible denying the right of health benefits to anyone.

Only one person was downright ugly, "I’d throw stones and rocks at any gay or lesbian person who came to my door." "Wow," I thought, "the American version of the Taliban." His neighbors explained that he was from Mississippi.

Religion often played a role in people’s reactions. One 60-ish couple kindly invited me in, but when they understood what I was asking, their voice and manner turned cold. They said this went against their values and wanted to hear nothing more from me. As I walked to the front door, I attempted to shake hands with the man in an effort to thank him for his time even though we disagreed. He pointedly refused to shake my hand. I couldn’t resist retorting, "I hope your version of religion can some day embrace all of God’s people!"

On the other hand, I stood at one front door with a cross on the wall. The woman who answered had a large cross around her neck. "No luck here," I thought. I was wrong. When I told her I was surprised she could support us, she said religion was important to her, but that she had enough to do to care about herself and her family’s behavior; she believed in equality and the behavior of others was between them and their God.

Most young couples were quite willing to oppose the measure. One young mother saw the "request for volunteers" form and practically tore it out of my hand in her rush to help out.

A Hispanic woman told me that she and her husband had talked about this issue earlier and that they had decided they could not oppose anyone’s having access to health insurance. Also, her parents lived with them and the parents felt the same way. A gentleman with a Middle Eastern name surprised me by being very willing to vote against the proposition. I noticed his garage had an old Ken Bentsen yard sign.

Yes, there were some negative people, and I did chicken out one time–I passed by a house that had cars with bumper stickers promoting Second Baptist Church and KSEV AM 700-RRR radio station. But others said, "This must be a hard job. Thank you for doing it." It was a wonderful growth experience for me, and I am learning not to prejudge people’s opinions by their name, age, race, ethnic origin–or even sexual orientation!

Sue Null is an ESL (English as a Second Language) teacher at Rice University and has been active with Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) for six years.