Some students share light-hearted closet-busting tales

by Waseem Shaikh

Once again it’s that time of the year when an all-new batch of homosexuals get confession-happy for National Coming Out Month. (Yeah, there is actually an entire month just for you to say, “Hey everybody—I’m gay” ... as if they don’t already know).But think about the last time you heard a coming-out story. Chances are it probably had a morose narrative with a whole lot of weeping and psychological torment, and, eventually, if it was a good coming-out story, a noble acceptance of the gay person and all happily-ever-afters.But Coming Out Month is about cheering on those struggling to find their deserved acceptance, not intimidating them with the dilemmas that could arise by just being themselves. Hence, I decided to write about all the fun coming-out stories I could get. Er, not the really fun stories that start with, “It was just me and Josh in the room”—but more like stories that the subjects recall with a nostalgic smirk. (Sorry, guys, maybe we’ll get to the other stories in another issue.)

Take Andy’s story, for example. “My mom told me I was gay,” the 38-year-old resident of Baytown says. “I went to the military and did everything I could to be ‘normal.’ Eventually, she got tired of me and asked me when I was going to meet Mr. Right.” Apparently, it wasn’t long before Andy did find Mr. Right. “In my first month of coming out, I met the man who I’ve now been with for nine years.” Some people have all the luck.

Others have just as much cheek. When 21-year-old Bradley’s sister teased him, asking him how his sex life was, he couldn’t resist the urge to step out of the closet in style. He said, “Why don’t you ask the boy next door? He’s the one who’s been bending over for me.” Now that’s how I like my coming-out stories—witty and ballsy.

Of course, then there are the folks who are just a little too eager about the new gay member in their family.

“When I told my aunt and her partner that I was gay,” says 19-year-old Kenneth from Spring, “they said, ‘Oh, we knew. Why do you think we always made you watch movies like To Wong Foo and put Nanna’s necklaces on you all the time?’” Uh, gee, thanks Auntie.

Forty-two-year-old Rusty’s mom was equally excited by the news. “She promised me not to tell anyone, then told me to run along as she called up the whole family and told them I was gay.”

When it comes to friends, though, coming out is a lot more entertaining. My personal favorite is still the time I told my high school friends that I was gay. “Oh, my God! Dude, we were joking when we called you gay,” said one. I told them I knew that, but I was still gay, to which another responded, “Oh, my God, we made him believe he’s gay!” Of course, I owe my homosexuality to my high school chums.

Chris, from Texas City, had perhaps the most blatant approach to coming out. He went to high school with three words printed on his arm, suggesting what he did with, er, male genitalia. “He was a pretty tough guy,” narrates his ex, “so no one really messed with him.” Sorry, boys, if I had his phone number, I would be putting it to good use.

So c’mon guys. Brace yourself, take a deep breath, and say, “I am a homosexual.” It’s not as bad as you think it is. Who knows? You might not be the only one benefiting from the experience. That was the case for 20-year-old Stan. “When I told my friend Sarah that I was gay,” Stan smirks, “she turned around and told her friend Megan, ‘Megan! I owe you 20 bucks!’”

Waseem Shaikh is a media student at the University of Houston.
Artwork at beginning of article: Keith Haring’s famous image is the emblem for the Human Rights Campaign’s National Coming Out Project

BACK TO SCHOOL
GLOBAL, the University of Houston GLBT student organization, will present a moderated panel discussion and coming-out forum on October 7. Panelists for the 7¯8:30 p.m. event, in the University Center Houston Room, include Brenda Thomas and OutSmart editor Tim Brookover. James Hall will moderate.

A LITTLE SUPPORT
• The Lesbian Coming-Out Group meets every Tuesday at 7 p.m. at the Houston GLBT Community Center (3400 Montrose Blvd., Suite 207, 713/524-3818).
• Though not currently in session, the Men’s Support Group frequently meets at the Montrose Counseling Center (701 Richmond Ave., 713/529-0037).
• The Human Rights Campaign National Coming Out Project offers advice and resources (www.hrc.org/ncop).

KUDOS
Kudos to all those men and women who have had the courage to live up to the daunting challenges of coming out, and kudos to all those friends and families who ever so warmly accepted these men and women.

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