MOVIES
by Blase DiStefano

The IRON LADIES tells the true story of a Thai volleyball team that competes in the national championships in 1996 with a team consisting mostly of gays, transvestites, and transsexuals. Though we haven’t seen the film, word is out that it’s a hoot. At press time, The Iron Ladies was scheduled to start Oct. 12 at Landmark’s Greenway Theatre, 713/626-0402.

OUR Lady of the assassins follows Fernando (German Jaramillo), a gay writer, to his home in Medellin, Colombia, now a city filled with violence. Fernando falls for Alexis (Anderson Balle-steros), a young assassin, and his life is changed. Directed by Barbet Schroeder (Single White Female). At press time, Our Lady of the Assassins was scheduled to start Oct. 5 at the Angelika Film Center, 713/225-5232.

MULHOLLAND DRIVE. In this complex tale of suspense, set in the unreal universe of Los Angeles, writer/director David Lynch explores the city’s schizophrenic nature, an uneasy blend of innocence and corruption, love and loneliness. We hear there’s a sex scene between the two female stars, Naomi Watts and Laura Elena Harring. At press time, Mulholland Drive was scheduled for release citywide on Oct. 19.

ZOOLANDER. Based on a character co-created by Ben Stiller and Drake Sather for the VH1 Fashion Awards, the original comedy Zoolander follows the world’s most famous–and empty-headed–male model as he discovers the horrifying secret behind why there are no male models who live past the age of 30. Rumor has it that Stiller’s character is "omnisexual," Will Ferrell’s character is…uh…"flamboyant," and Milla Jovovich’s character is not a "she." At press time, Zoolander was scheduled to be playing citywide in early October.

How to kill your neighbor’s dog. Though Kenneth Branagh is the star of this comedy, we mention it for two other reasons. One, for those of you who wish your neighbor’s dog would stop that incessant barking, you should get a kick out of this straight-to-cable movie. Two, you might also get a kick out of David Krumholtz, who plays a gay director who is never bashful about bursting into a Petula Clark song. Also stars Robin Wright Penn, Lynn Redgrave, Johnathon Schaech, and Peri Gilpin. For those PETA people reading this: You should get a kick out of the added footage after the film’s ending. Scheduled to premiere on Starz! on Oct. 27 at 7 p.m.

BARBRA COMES OUT TWICE IN OCTOBER! I guess it’s pretty obvious what Barbra Streisand’s connection is to Funny Girl–I mean, not only is she the star, she won a Best Actress Oscar and Golden Globe in the process. But Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs?! Well, for all you Barb fans who somehow missed this, the funny lady with the gay son sings a classic song on the Disney DVD! • The Funny Girl DVD, in its newly restored and remastered version, is complete with overture and intermission segments, two behind-the-scenes featurettes, bonus trailers, and much more. Arrives in stores on Oct. 16 at $24.95 (VHS with new packaging is priced at $14.95). • The 2-disc Snow White DVD begins disc one with a guided tour by Angela Lansbury, which is followed by Streisand performing "Some Day My Prince Will Come" over an animated montage of highlights from the film. Pretty much everything else imaginable is featured on this Disney DVD. Debuts Oct. 9 at $29.99.