Road Trip to San Antonio A report from a member of the Wicks' wedding party...or, if marriage is an institution, maybe we should all be committed by D.L. Murphy

Deb, will you give me away at my wedding?

This simple question led to yet another of the Bad Girls' famous road trips. Don't know the Bad Girls? Let me introduce us. I'm Billie Sioux Wallace, my partner is Bunny Soo LaSalle (her Canadian mother used to serve rabbit for Easter dinner), and my good friend and neighbor is Georgia Sue Sherman (a true Southern lady). We decided to recruit a new member for this trip. So, we put her through our secret formula for road trip names and, ladies and gentlemen, meet our newest addition, Tommy Su Park. Tommy Su was immediately dubbed Mu Su Park, or Take Out for short.

Now every road trip needs a destination. Ours is the Wicks' wedding in San Antonio. If you haven't heard of this wedding, you've been living in the Land of the Mole People. As a result of the Littleton decision, two lesbians are getting legally married. (Editor's note: When a San Antonio area court declared void the marriage of male-to-female transsexual Christie Littleton and her husband, her lawyer Phyllis Frye decided that this was a bad situation that she could take delicious advantage of, and urged all gay couples in which one partner is transsexual to get legally hitched. Jessica and Robin Wicks are the first to take advantage of this Texas loophole.) Anyway, not only am I thrilled to be giving one of the brides away, I am racking up major bonus points in the dyke daddy ranking system.

My partner, Bunny Soo, is to be one of the matrons of honor. Georgia Sue is doing the flowers. Both Bunny Soo and Georgia Sue have major wedding experience. Bunny Soo spent 12,000 1972 U.S. dollars on a true Italian wedding, while Georgia Sue was married a little less than a year ago. I actually put on a f---ing dress to be the maid of honor at Georgia Sue's wedding; post-traumatic stress disorder makes it impossible for me to even consider looking at the wedding photos.

The day of the wedding dawns. We all leap into the car for the trip to San Antonio. Only one little problem, there is no room in the car. We have ourselves (all suffering from middle-aged spread), our clothes, buckets and buckets and buckets of cut flowers (we're one wreck short of an instant roadside shrine), and all of the stuff needed for preparing and displaying these flowers. There is so much stuff in this car that you could measure the time it takes us to get from 0 to 60 using a calendar.

We arrive in San Antonio, check into the motel, and start getting ready for the big event Flower preparation begins. Georgia Sue has spent the entire trip wiring roses and she still isn't done (told you we had a lot of flowers). So flowers get wired (although at this point they are way less wired than we are), flowers get taped, flowers get trimmed, flowers get arranged, boutonnieres get made, bouquets get made, bouquets get decorated. Great, except now our motel room looks like some sort of floral Texas Chain Saw Massacre.

Another member of the wedding party arrives. She is way too serene; we invite her to our room so we can wire her up. At this point, she tries to calm us down by explaining the difference between a cross dresser and a transsexual as "he can't wait to get home and get his bra on, she can't wait to get home and get her bra off." The Road Sisters look at one another-we recognize another smart-mouthed road sister when we see her. We put our new sister through the aforementioned naming process and Princess Sault Chestnut is born.

Anyway, general hysteria aside, the brides finally arrive and everyone starts to get dressed. One problem, I am very overdue for a haircut and am having a really bad hair day. I ask Princess Sault for help; she whips out the hair spray and teasing comb, and I am dying.

But wait just one minute. Here I am, getting ready for a legal marriage between two women, half my clothing belongs to Georgia Sue's husband, the other half is leather, and a true girly girl is "doing" my hair. And I am worried about a little hair spray? So, even though I am sure something is very, very wrong, I want more hairspray. And more hairspray is what I get.

Off to the wedding! We know we are there when we see the protesters. Now, I am a great believer in the rights to free speech, peaceful assembly, and public protest. What I take exception to is that the microencephalic mental midgets can't spell. (Come on, Sadam and Gomorrah?!)

In we go, one of the brides disappears to get dressed, the other is trying to fend off the press, Georgia Sue is still fussing with flowers, and I have completely lost track of everyone else.

I am amazed; the good people of San Antonio have opened their hearts for people they don't even know. What could have been a queen's camp-out is a tasteful event. Did these people go all out?-they even went to e-Bay to get the Wonder Woman action figure needed to join Xena on top of the cake.

The big moment arrives, Jessica takes my arm, and we start toward the altar. I was not at all prepared for multiple sets of TV lights; I now understand exactly how that "deer in the headlights" feels.

Jessica safely delivered to the altar (and to Robin), I get to sit down. While watching the ceremony I am overjoyed for these two women. I think about how much I love my partner, Bunny Soo. I think about how much I appreciate my beloved fellow traveler, Georgia Sue. I think about how lucky I am to have two new Road Sisters. I remember all of the older queers who, each in his or her own way, nurtured our ability to be who and what we truly are. I think about how blessed I am to be a part of our queer community. But mostly I am humbled, for the first time I fully realize how truly interconnected we all are.

The girls are married, I get to kiss two brides, and the party begins! In order to protect everyone's reputation (mine), I'll end here with the toast made to the two brides:

"Jessica and Robin, you are two of the bravest women I have ever known. Let me say that I, along with everyone here, wish you the best this world has to offer. Let me say also that all of us would like to thank you for reminding us of the only bottom line that matters: Love is all there is."

Some days, life is really good.