Ernie's Out! After finally coming out, I realized it really wasn't a big deal after all by Ernie Manouse

Editor's note: We were surprised and delighted when Ernie Manouse chose to come out in our magazine, in the Pride edition. (Ernie's comment as the OutSmart float went past the reviewing stand at the Pride Parade: "Hey Maria [Todd], I'm gay! It must be true, I read it in OutSmart!") •So, six months later, in honor of National Coming Out Day, we thought we'd check in with Ernie and see how coming out has affected his life and his work relationships. Ernie's experiences serve as inspiration to everyone who is wondering if they have the courage to come out of the closet themselves.

Since October 11 is National Coming Out Day, two things come to mind. First, they have a day for everything these days, and second, I guess I am "out"...officially!

When I sat down in May to be interviewed for OutSmart, it was to help promote the Pride Parade. Well, I have never thought of myself as closeted until the question about whether or not I was gay came up-and funny as it seems, it was strange to answer. Of course, I wondered how people would respond. Would this affect the show, the audience's relationship with me, would there be a backlash? Now everyone could know that "secret" part of me...and not just those who I chose to tell. But then again, anyone who looks at me knows the color of my skin or the color of my hair (well, that one can be a bit tricky) and that has never bothered me, so why should this?

Truth be told, after reading the article (which I rushed to pick up the hour it hit the street), I was more concerned that my edited comments about public television would get me in more trouble than the gay stuff (the complete comments can be read on the web version of the article). Neither happened-life went on, and now in some strange way, I had become the most visible openly gay person in Houston television.

So how has the OutSmart article changed me? I would say "very little, if at all," but being the journalist that I am, that knee-jerk reaction was not enough. I had to investigate, and so I asked the people I work with every day how this has changed me, them, us...and here is what they had to say.

• "As far as I'm concerned, whether Ernie is gay or not is irrelevant. I never have cared who people sleep with. I see Ernie as I do everyone else, as human beings; sexuality is only part of it. I love Ernie. He's talented, funny, well-read, and smiles all the time. Most importantly, he's very comfortable with himself and I wish everyone, gay or straight, would be like that. As far as I'm concerned, Ernie was always 'out'-out of fear, confusion, and pain that many have felt due to other people's ignorance. He chose to be who he is and to share that with us all, and that is fine with me. Thank God." -Patricia Gras, Producer/Reporter

• "Out? Ernie always tells people he's part of the 'in' crowd." -Will Hilton, Programming

• "Ernie's OUT? When was he ever really IN? Out, in, upside down, right side up or sideways, Ernie is always fun to work with. He is a top-notch interviewer who has always been able to get more meaningful conversation out of his interviewees than most talk-show hosts-gay or straight." -Heidi Slater, Program Guide Editor

• "Ernie is the same as he ever was, completely open and friendly. I've only known him for about two years-in fact, I've only been out of college for two years-but in that time he has actually helped me realize that the stereotypes I've heard/had about gay men are completely untrue. I've lead what most people call a sheltered life, and Ernie is actually the first gay man I've ever worked with. So, my experience with Ernie has been completely mind-opening and wonderful. He is truly one of my favorite people to work with." -Amanda King, Intern Producer

• "Gee, I really can't answer that 'cuz you never told me you were gay. I kinda figured it out by myself. In terms of how it affected our working relationship, it meant I had no one at work to look at chicks with. It really did not affect the way we worked together except that I learned about a new culture and how to dress better." -Jim Collins, Director, Crosstalk with Ernie Manouse (Chicago)

• "For most of the years I've worked with Ernie, I was pretty sure he was gay, but we never spoke about it. A couple of years ago, we were having a conversation about someone he was dating, and he kept awkwardly avoiding the use of the words 'he,' 'him,' etc. I told him, 'You know I know you're gay, don't you? You don't have to dance around it.' There was a sense of relief between both of us. Our working relationship and our friendship has gotten even stronger now, because he knows it doesn't bother me and there is nothing to hide." -Doug Mueller, Producer, Broadcast Creative Services

• "I didn't notice a dif." -Kirk Kauder, Crew Member/Producer

• "Ernie's coming out has been nothing short of a tremendous pain-in-the-ass to me. Now all he wants to do is follow me to the bars and try to steal all the men I am cruising!" -Nick Brines, U of H Alumni Relations

• "Even if it was not spoken, I think we all knew, and Ernie never really made much of an effort to hide it. After the article came out, we all found that we could openly joke about it, as we do with everything else in everyone else's lives. So it took a pressure off us and equaled the field. It made no difference that he was gay-the problem was there was something we couldn't talk about and that's what built the walls. Now, nothing is sacred during lunch!" -Jill Snyder, Programming Assistant

• "Having never seen E's mid-drift, I was unaware that he has an outie. Actually, Ernie's friendship with his co-workers has not changed or altered itself in the least, except that now we have to bow our heads when we speak to him-but I think that was coming anyway." -Mark Kennedy, Director

• "I guess I should have figured out that Ernie was gay before the article came out. I mean, how many ABBA albums can one man actually own? His openness and sincerity about his life outside of work has made our working relationship and friendship much stronger." -Michael Horne, Crew

• "Ernie was always with my girlfriend, and they would chat together and hang out-kinda made me worry. But then that article came out and all that gay stuff-so everything is alright. So, I don't have to worry. I mean, he really is gay, right? This isn't just some sort of a joke?" -Matt Brawley, Crew

• "I knew early on that Ernie was gay. I would drop hints letting him know that I was fine with 'the gay thing,' hoping that it would make him feel more comfortable and able to open up to me. I didn't want to press the issue and say, 'Look, I know you're gay and I'm cool with it.' I wanted him to feel comfortable with it first. But I have to admit that it bothered me that he wasn't being honest. I felt he was hiding something from me and that it was an impediment to the growth of our friendship. Friendships are based on trust and I felt that by him not sharing that part with me I wasn't getting the whole Ernie, the real Ernie. I remember the exact moment he came out to me. He was really bothered about a problem he was having with someone he was dating but he wasn't telling me what was bugging him. FINALLY, he opened up to me. The first thing I said to him was, 'Thank God, finally,' and then 'It took you freakin' long enough!' From that moment on, our friendship became deeper and more honest. Basically, as a straight person looking from the outside, what I think about this whole 'out' issue is, life is too short to live a lie and the people who are truly worthy of being your friend will stand by you no matter what. And if they don't, well they weren't worth your time to begin with. Rock on!" -Julie Coan, Co-Producer WeekDay

• "I was SHOCKED...I mean I just couldn't believe it! But, in the end, it didn't really change anything at work or in our friendship. Now I just go to him for fashion advice!" -Gina Miller-Parker, Development

• "I believe Ernie's 'coming out' has enabled him to draw from a significant part of his life that he felt compelled to conceal before. Although he and I were friends months before he actually told me, it wasn't until after he told me he was gay that I feel he was allowed to truly be himself in our friendship." -Ted Westby, Producer

• "Coming out. Are you nuts?!!!!!!!!!! You'll never replace Pat O'Brien now." -James Manouse, Ernie's Brother