WHO KISSES HEATHER? Actress/writer Heather Juergensen talks about kissing, bisexuality, closets, and more by Blase DiStefano

Kissing Jessica Stein is about dating ... with a twist. When we first meet Jessica Stein (Jennifer Westfeldt), a sensitive but neurotic journalist, she is fed up with her dating life. After an optimistic but nightmarish dating spree, she happens upon an intriguing personal ad. The only drawback: It's in the women-seeking-women section. On a daring whim, she decides to answer it. She is uncomfortable when she first meets Helen Cooper (Heather Juergensen) and decides to cut the meeting short. Helen suggests that Jessica think about it, or as she says, "marinate" on it for a while. The journalist in Jessica is immediately drawn to her prospect. • Kissing Jessica Stein was written by and stars real-life friends Heather Juergensen and Jennifer Westfeldt. Juergensen started out as a writer-performer with her first one-woman show, Letters to an Older Man, which premiered at New York's Womenkind Festival. In addition to her writing partnership with Westfeldt, Juergensen has written screenplays and teleplays for Miramax, VH-1, and ABC, among others, and she is currently at work on an original screenplay.

OutSmart: I saw the movie over the weekend and loved it.

Heather Juergensen: Oh, thank you.

Kissing Jessica Stein is the first movie I've seen on my new DVD.

Well, I'm glad I christened your new player.

First of all, do you use the word "marinate" very often in real life?

I do, I do. In our partnership, Jennifer and I found that we would notice things about each other that were useful that we could use in the script. And I believe early on when we first started working together, I said something like, "Just marinate on that." I remember that her face sort of screwed up, and she said, "What the hell are you talking about?" And then it went into the script, because if it was good enough for Jennifer, it was good enough for Jessica.

The obvious question: Have you ever kissed a woman other than in the film?

In adolescence, I had a couple of these little flings where I was curious or whatever. But as an adult, I haven't. I kind of lament that now. [Both laugh] Because I just got engaged to be married to my boyfriend of several years. And I guess unless we do that threesome thing, I have to leave this bi-curiosity behind.

What a shame.

I think one of the interesting things in the movie in terms of putting this kind of material out to the world in a way that I feel is truthful is dealing with the issue of how to contrive an experience in your life when you want one, whether it's a new job or a new relationship or a new experience. And in the film, Helen just goes out, marches to the Village Voice and takes out a classified ad, a personal. And that's actually the way quite a number of people do it. But, in fact, if you just woke up one day and said I think I want to try this, what would you do? Would you put the word out to your friends, would you hang out in bars? I feel that life often hands you things in these ways that feel like Gosh, that was interesting the way that happened, almost like kismet or That was meant to be. And sometimes it doesn't. So I don't know what I'm trying to say... I guess as an adult, my life has not taken these turns.

Do you believe that sexuality is fluid?

I believe it is fluid for some people. I believe it's not fluid at all for other people. I feel as children, it's pretty fluid. But I don't think most 5- or 6-year-olds who are playing doctor have any concern whether it's with same sex or different sex. I just think it's all fascinating. Everything is new.

What about bisexuality?

I feel like there are really, really strong social constructs in the world that encourage people to pair off with the opposite sex and make babies and have families and all that stuff. I think there's a certain amount of biology in that, but the social constructs are so strong that I feel like it's hard to get at how much "natural," if you want to call it, bisexuality there is. I do feel like when people are very relaxed and very open with their sexuality, I do think the natural kind of place to end up is bisexuality, because it's like you can love anyone.

But then you have gay people who have been closeted or were oppressed-it's enough of a battle just to fight for the right to be gay. Like We don't want to be bisexual, we want to just be gay and to be allowed to be that. It's almost like this notion is far more advanced than we as a culture are ready for right now. So, we talk about it philosophically, and then just say, "Yeah, we all have to accept people whether they are straight or gay."

We found in a lot of these interviews and in going around the country on the press tour that it's almost like bisexuality is the new gay. It's like even some gay people somehow need to be biased against bi's because they don't buy it or something. I think we'll get there. It's just a matter of time.

Do you think that being closeted is important for actors who are gay?

God, you know that's a good question. I actually feel that question is not unlike the question of age for women-because women routinely lie about their age by anywhere from 1 to 5 years down. In fact, if you don't, you kind of tend to make yourself older. It's not always talked about, but most people know what goes on. So, that shouldn't be the case-like acting is acting and if someone is 22, they should play 22, whether they're 28 or 30.

Likewise, you should be able to know that a woman is gay or a man is gay and they can play straight. Rock Hudson is the quintessential example of a sturdy leading man who everyone knew at the time privately was gay, but he went out and played these hunky men who swept women off their feet.

But the people who bought the tickets didn't know.

He wouldn't have been as successful if the public had known. When I said "everyone," I meant the industry and the press. But my feeling is that maybe we're not ready as a society. But look at Rupert Everett. He's out. He'll play gay, he'll play straight. He is just a great actor. But then you hear about these big, big names, big stars who are rumored to be gay, and that person has that career and the answer is maybe not. So people who are in the business and want to be successful-I understand the instinct to be safe, to play it safe, and keep your private life private.

But almost always when a person comes out, it's like freedom-"Finally, every-thing's off my shoulders."

Yeah, it's like almost anything in life-lying always is some other form of shackle. And you're trading in one form of repression for another. But then you look at Matthew Shepard and things going on out there in the country and the world, and you think, Yeah, people are not ready for it. They're not enlightened yet. So, it's a really tough decision. I'd never judge anyone who chooses to stay closeted professionally.

Last two questions: If you were stranded on a desert island and you could have only one movie with you, what would it be?

Oh, God. Well, what would the conditions be like on this desert island? Would I be comfy cozy?

You'd be very comfortable, you'd have a DVD player, and you'd have that one movie to watch.

Well, I would have to say-I suppose this is the case whether I am comfortable or not-I'd have to say Blazing Saddles. Because I use that movie as a kind of drug-whenever I'm feeling down, I put it in. It's so funny, and I know every line and every gag and it always makes me laugh. I've seen it probably a hundred times. But if I was going to do something more dramatic, it would be On the Waterfront, which is my favorite.

Now you're still on that same desert island, and you can have only one person, not a friend, relative, lover, or fiancé, who would it be?

I think I'd pick Will Farrell-the Saturday Night Live guy. Because he'd just do characters all the time, and that would be fun. He'd be like, Now, I'm going to pick a coconut or Now, I'm going to make a canoe. And it'd be funny to watch him interact with the environment. He improvises. He's very good with what they call space work. He would be like insta-laugh all the time.

Is there anything that you'd like to add?

Well, I feel like I've been really grateful for the warm reception the film has received so far in theaters, and it's just overwhelming. And now people can sit in the comfort of their own home and pop it in, and it's really exciting.

Kissing Jessica Stein will be released on VHS (for rent) and DVD (for rent and sale) on September 17.