AUGUST 2003 CALENDAR

Daily (Mon.–Fri.)

HIV Testing. HCHD Thomas Street Clinic is offering HIV testing free to the public, 9 am–1 pm. There is no need to establish eligibility ("gold-card"), no donation will be asked of the person seeking testing, and the test is free. Thomas Street Clinic, 2015 Thomas, 713/873-4157 or 713/873-4026.

Daily (Mon.–Sat.)

HIV Testing. The Montrose Clinic offers free confidential HIV testing at these locations. Monday: Bricks, 617 Fairview, 4–8 pm; O, 710 Pacific, 9 pm–1 am. Tuesday: The 611, 611 Hyde Park, 4–8 pm; Club Houston, 2205 Fannin, 8 pm–midnite. Wednesday: Mary's, 1100 Westheimer, 4–8 pm; Ripcord, 715 Fairview, 9 pm–1 am; EJ’s, 2517 Ralph, 10 pm–1 am; Midtowne Spa, 3100 Fannin, 10 pm–1 am. Thursday: All-Star News, 3415 Katy Frwy, 4–8 pm; BRB, 2400 Brazos, 8 pm–midnite; Cousins, 817 Fairview, 8 pm–midnite. Friday: EJ’s, 2517 Ralph, 10 pm–1 am; Midtowne Spa, 3100 Fannin, 10 pm–1 am; The Meatrack, 2915 San Jacinto, 10 pm–2 am; Rich’s, 2401 San Jacinto, 10 pm–1 am. The clinic offers classes for those newly diagnosed with HIV or Hepatitis C. For more info: 713/830-3000.

6 (Wed.)

Still Crazy (Horse) After All These Years. The tireless Godfather of Grunge regroups with Crazy Horse for a night of ’60s-inflected guitar rock. $75, $50, $30. 7 pm at Cynthia Woods Mitchell, 2005 Lake Robbins Dr., The Woodlands. Tickets: Ticketmaster at 713/629-3700.

6 & 20 (Wed.)

HIV Testing. Through a new col-laboration with Houston Area Com-munity Services (HACS), the Houston GLBT Community Center provides free testing for HIV, Hepatitis C and chlamydia on the first and third Wednesdays of the month. A trained HACS staff member administers the tests. Take care of your health and remember what those pamphlets at the clinic say: “Chlamydia is not a flower.” For more information, call 713/524-3818 or www.HoustonGLBTCenter.org. 7–9 pm at 3400 Montrose Blvd., Ste. 207.

7... (Thu.)

Open Mic. Every Thursday, local all-female rock band FO hosts an open mic at Chances, 1100 Westheimer, 9 pm–1 am. Vocalists and musicians of all styles and genres are welcome. For more info: 713/523-7217 or www.chancesbar.com.

8 (Fri.)

3 Women. Directed by Robert Altman, this moody, thought-provoking film begins with a strange girl named Pinky (Sissy Spacek) who takes a job at a convalescent home. Pinky moves in with coworker Millie (Shelley Duvall), who has pretensions on becoming a socialite. After moving in together, Pinky assumes Millie’s personality and finds passage into the social circles Millie has always wished she could join. When the pregnant artist wife of a mutual friend gets her hands on the two, the real turmoil begins. $6 ($5 for MFAH members, seniors, and students with ID). 7 pm at the Museum of Fine Arts, 1001 Bissonnet. Info: 713/639-7515 or www.mfah.org.

9, 13–15 (Sat., Wed.–Fri.)

OutSmart’s Gayest & Greatest Ballot-Voting Promotion Parties. Saturday, Aug. 9: 8–10 pm @ Garza’s Kon Tiki, 315 Tremont at 23rd, Galveston. Wednesday, Aug. 13: 9:30–11:30 pm @ JR’s Bar, 804 Pacific. Special guest appearance by King Henry VIII and characters from Texas Renaissance Festival. Followed by the fabulous Kofi Show at 11 pm. Thursday, Aug. 14: 8–10 pm @ Chances, 1100 Westheimer. Friday, August 15: 7–10 pm @ O Night Club, 710 Pacific.

15 (Fri.)

Class Clowns. Summertime blues has nothing on back-to-school anxiety, but how do you heal it? Well, laughter is the best medicine. ComedySportz recommends a dose of their Whose Line Is It Anyway?-styled improvisational games at their “Back to School Blues Buster” match. $10, $5 with student ID. 8 pm at Lambert Hall, 1703 Heights Blvd. For reservations and information, call 713/868-1444.

23 (Sat.)

An Orange a Day. Jeff McKissack founded The Orange Show and penned How You Can Live 100 Years and Still Be Spry. In his honor, The Orange Show hosts a health fair with fresh fruit and juices and nutritional information, yoga demonstrations, massage therapists, a book sale, health films from the ’50s, and more. Free. 5–10 pm at 2401 Munger St. Call 713/926-6368 or visit www.orangeshow.org for more info.

PLANNING AHEAD FOR SEPTEMBER

September 6 & 7

Major Exposure. The 54th semi-annual Houston Camera Show and Sale brings over 150 worldwide camera and camera equipment dealers together. Camera lovers everywhere, shout a loud “Halleluiah!” and extend the limit on your credit cards. September 6 from 10 am–5 pm and September 7 from 10 am-4 pm at the Mariott Hotel (formerly the Radisson), 9100 Gulf Fwy at the Airport exit.

September 24

Several Dancers Core. Several Dancers Core and the Houston Community College Central dance department, in conjunction with The Field, a New York-based artist service organization, present the Fall 2003 session of Fieldwork, a 10-week series of dance works-in-progress with artist feedback sessions. Each 10-week session culminates in a performance of the work developed by the group (this one being on November 23 at HCC Central). $50. 7–9 pm in Studio A at 3517 Austin on the Houston Community College central campus, beginning Wednesday, September 24. For further information, call 713/862-5530 or send an e-mail to sdcinfo@mindspring.com.

PLANNING AHEAD FOR OCTOBER

October 10–12

Desert Hearts Women’s Festival. Join more than a hundred women who gather in the woods of a beautiful and secluded women’s ranch in the Texas Hill Country. Desert Hearts Cowgirl Club is located 50 miles NW of San Antonio between Kerrville and Bandera. Pick your campsite along shady creek or on the sunny ridge. It is primitive camping with clean port-a-potties and fun festi-showers. Stay by your cozy campfire or come down to the stage for live entertainment, including Nancy Scott, Audio Jamz, The Gibson Sister Band, Laura Freeman, Karressa Kayous, and more. Buy and sell at the flea market or catch the action at the lesbolympics. Plus horseshoes, bocce ball, volleyball, and a fun-filled scavenger hunt are yours to enjoy. Desert Hearts Women’s Festival is to be a place where you are free to be yourselves. Tickets $45 by August 15; $55 by September 15; $65 cash at the gate on October 10. Four-meal ticket (in advance) $15 good food, Fri. and Sat. evening, Sat. and Sun. morning. Mail checks along with names and addresses to: 10101 ST Hwy 173 N, Bandera, TX 78003. More info: 830/796-7001, beaux2@indian-creek.net, or http://members.aol.com/cowgirlj.

PERFORMING ARTS

• Always . . . Patsy Cline. Directed by Stages’ founding artistic director Ted Swindley, this play premiered at Stages in ’88. Now one of the most often-performed stage productions in the U.S., Always . . . is set in Houston and centers on the true story of Houston housewife Louise Seger and her lifelong friendship with Patsy Cline that begun when the two met while Cline was performing in Houston. The play features a live band and performances of over 20 of Cline’s songs and explores through Cline’s letters and Seger’s commentary the humor, sadness, and mutual respect shared between the two women. $25. Through August 17 @ Stages, 3201 Allen Pkwy at Waugh Dr. Tickets: 713/527-0123 or www.stagestheatre.com.

• American Buffalo. David Mamet’s comedy-drama centers on a trio of small-time crooks whose mistrust for each other foils their plan to steal a coin collection. The play won the wry Mamet a ’76–’77 New York Drama Circle Critics Award and a ’76 Obie Award for Best American Play. Co-produced by the Outlaw Actors and Black Box Productions, the experimental wing of the Country Playhouse. $10. August 15–September 6 at the Country Playhouse, 12802 Queensbury, in the Town and Country Village off Beltway 8. Tickets available by calling 713/467-4497.

• Deadwood Dick or The Game of Gold. Classic, campy melodrama unfolds at Theatre Suburbia with characters like Calamity Jane and Black’n Red. Audiences are encouraged to hiss at the villain, sigh for the heroine, and cheer for the hero. Thru August 23. $10 ($9 for students and seniors, $8 on Sundays) at Theatre Suburbia, 1410 W. 43rd at Oak Forest. Tickets available by calling 713/682-3523. For more information, visit www.theatresuburbia.com.

• The Foreigner. Written by Larry Shue and directed by James Black, this play follows Englishmen Charlie and his friend, Froggy, on a fishing trip to the backwoods of Georgia. When Froggy has to leave his friend in the hands of a gaggle of oddballs, he protects the exceptionally shy Charlie by proclaiming he does not speak a word of English. Certain he doesn’t understand them, people have no qualms spilling their secrets in his presence. Madcap hilarity reaches a pinnacle when Charlie and the abscess of abnormal lodgers confront the mean-ol’ Owen Musser. Through August 10 @ The Alley Theatre Large Stage, 615 Texas Ave. Tickets: 713/228-8421 or www.alleytheatre.org.

• Grandpa Hasn’t Moved in Days. The Fertle family returns home for a funeral, only to find the deceased’s dying request a cause for hilarity. Written by Radio Music Theatre’s Steve Farrell, Grandpa (like any Fertle comedy) stars a mere three actors who play countless characters, with each one as distinct as a thumbprint. $18. Through August 30 @ Radio Music Theatre, 2623 Colquitt, near Richmond and Kirby. Showtimes vary. Tickets available at the box office or by calling 713/522-7722.

• Judy’s Friend/Marilyn’s Boy and The Only Thing Worse You Could Have Told Me. Theatre New West announces a summer double feature on its two stages. On the Main Stage is Judy’s Friend/Marilyn’s Boy by local playwright Diana Howie and directed by guest director Roy Hamlin, artistic associate with Theatre Under The Stars. Opening August 8 on Stage ... too is The Only Thing Worse You Could Have Told Me, a one-man play by Dan Butler (yes, that Dan Butler, “Bulldog” on TV’s Frasier, who also originally performed the role). Directed by artistic director Joe Watts. • Judy’s Friend/Marilyn’s Boy is two one-act monologues, one a character who was a Munchkin in The Wizard of Oz and his obsession with Judy Garland, the other the alleged son of Marilyn Monroe. Howie’s plays have been produced in Houston, Chicago, Edinburgh (Scotland), Vienna, and other cities. She is Playwright in Residence at Country Playhouse. Howie holds an MA in Theatre Arts from the University of Houston where she studied with Jose Quintero. She has a new musical titled The Jury, which opens in February 2004 at The Country Playhouse. • The Only Thing Worse You Could Have Told Me is a whirlwind tour of the gay American landscape with 10 predominantly gay characters in 14 vignettes. Of its New York run, The New York Post wrote: “Butler walks through these subtly-shaded vignettes with wit, flair, and compassion. You certainly don’t have to be gay to appreciate Butler’s people.” • Judy’s Friend/Marilyn’s Boy runs through September 20 on the Main Stage. • The Only Thing Worse You Could Have Told Me runs August 8–October 4 on Stage...too, with a benefit performance for People With AIDS Coalition on Thursday, August 7 (tickets $20; reservations 713/522-5428). • BOTH PLAYS: Fridays & Saturdays at 8 pm (no shows Aug. 29 & 30) at Theatre New West, 1415 California. Tickets: $20. Reservations/info: 713/522-2204.

• Killer Karaoke and Come Up and Slay Me Sometime are presented by Mystery Café, home of Comedy Murder Mystery Dinner Theater. • Killer Karaoke: The Gulf Coast Regional Semi-Final Three Steps Before National Silver Microphone Karaoke Competition will continue, despite an “accidental” fire and a crazed karaoke serial killer stalking the contestants. Anybody who’s actually listened to karaoke will probably side with the killer, if they can figure his or her identity. • Come Up and Slay Me Sometime: Bathtub gin isn’t the only illegal thing going on in this 1920s floating speakeasy—there’s a dead body lying around, and nobody can call the cops. Featuring special appearances by Mae West, Charles Lindbergh, and Abraham Lincoln. • Killer Karaoke plays Fridays; Come Up and Slay Me Sometime plays Saturdays. Both shows presented at 8 pm at Marriott West Loop, 1750 West Loop South at San Felipe. Reservations required: 713/944-2583 or www.mysterycafe houston.com.

• Tamalalia 8. Tamarie makes it big! After being asked for the zillionth time why she hasn’t moved on to the big time, Tamarie Cooper—Infernal Bridegroom Productions’ answer to Lucille Ball—finally decides to make the big move to La-La Land. Anyone who’s ever seen any of the previous seven Tamalalia installments knows that very little ever goes right for her. But in the process of her misadventures, music, dancing, hilarity, and fashion shows are always imminent. With a salute to our dear bayou city, a TV sitcom pilot, a salacious women’s prison scene, and (likely) gobs of cleavage, Ms. Cooper promises more summertime titillation than ever. $5.99–$17. Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays at 8 pm and Saturdays at 10:30 pm, July 17–Aug. 30 at the Axiom, 2524 McKinney. Tickets: 713/522-8443. More info: www.infernalbridegroom.com/archives/t8.html.

RADIO

• After Hours. Saturdays, midnight to 3 am. Featuring the QMZ (Queer Music Zone) with Jimmy Carper. KPFT 90.1 FM, 713/526-5738.

• Queer Voices. Mondays, 8-10 pm. Features, news, music, interviews, reviews, and commentary. KPFT 90.1 FM, 713/526-4000.

ART/PHOTOGRAPHY

• The BIG Show. This annual juried exhibition results from the selection of works submitted by artists living in Houston and its surrounding counties. Lawndale is dedicated to the presentation of contemporary art with a penchant for local artists. Through August 23 @ Lawndale Art Center, 4912 Main St. More info: 713/528-5858.

• CraftHouston 2003. The second in a series of juried exhibitions spon-sored at the Craft Center, this exhibit showcases the best craftsfolk in North America and debuts in Houston. An artists’ reception takes place Friday, August 8 from 6–8 pm with curator and writer Lloyd Herman announcing Award of Merit winners prior to the opening. Free. August 8–October 12, 10 am–5 pm, Tuesday through Saturday, and noon–5 pm on Sunday at the Houston Center for Contemporary Craft, 4848 Main St. More info: 713/529-4848.

• James Rosenquist: A Retrospective. Lichtenstein, Warhol, Rosenquist. All pop artists who draw from the images of advertising and mass media to create visual commentaries on life. From his early days as a billboard painter to his recent use of abstract technique, Rosenquist demonstrates an evolving mastery of color, line, texture, and shape. The retrospective of his work, organized by the Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum in New York, debuts in Houston and is divided into two exhibits; his early work (the late ’50s-1970) can be viewed at the Menil Collection; his work after 1970 can be seen at the Museum of Fine Arts. Through August 17 @ the Menil Collection, 1515 Sul Ross. For more information, call 713/525-9400 or visit www.menil.org. Free. The Museum of Fine Arts, Houston is located at 1001 Bissonnet and can be reached at 713/639-7540 or visit www.mfah.org.

• One Big Red Heart. The Jung Center’s exhibit features recent works by the homeless children of ArtBridge Houston and other children who participate in Jung Center outreach programs. Free. Through August 28 at the Jung Center, 5200 Montrose. For more information, call 713/524-8253.

• Sanctuaries: The Late Works of John Hejduk. This is no typical architectural retrospective. Not at the Menil. John Hejduk is best known for his designs that remained on paper, theoretical designs that returned architecture to a level of art and spirituality. Known for elemental biomorphism (buildings that seem to have eyes, hair, beaks, legs), a preference for geometrical form and typological variation, Hejduk’s work thematically explores falling from grace, passage, transformation, and architecture as sanctuary, a place of nurture. Through August 31 @ the Menil Collection, 1515 Sul Ross. For more information, call 713/525-9400 or visit www.menil.org. Free.

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