CALENDAR JULY 2003

Daily (Mon.–Fri.)

HIV Testing. HCHD Thomas Street Clinic is offering HIV testing free to the public, 9 am–1 pm. There is no need to establish eligibility ("gold-card"), no donation will be asked of the person seeking testing, and the test is free. Thomas Street Clinic, 2015 Thomas, 713/873-4157 or 713/873-4026.

Daily (Mon.–Sat.)

HIV Testing. The Montrose Clinic offers free confidential HIV testing at these locations. Monday: Bricks, 617 Fairview, 4–8 pm; Keys West, 817 W. Dallas, 8 pm–midnite; Club Xcape, 2612 South Richey, 9 pm–midnite. Tuesday: The 611 Club, 611 Hyde Park, 4–8 pm; The Briar Patch, 2294 W. Holcombe, 8 pm–midnite; The Club Houston, 2205 Fannin, 8 pm–midnite. Wednesday: Mary's, 1022 Westheimer, 4–8 pm; Houston Lesbian & Gay Community Center, 803 Hawthorne, 6–9 pm; Ripcord, 715 Fairview, 9 pm–midnite; EJ’s, 2517 Ralph, 10 pm–1 am; Midtowne Spa, 3100 Fannin, 10 pm–1 am. Thursday: The Outpost, 1419 Richmond, 4–8 pm; Brazos River Bottom, 2400 Brazos, 8 pm–midnite; Cousins, 817 Fairview, 8 pm–midnite; Toyz Disco, 5322 Glenmont, 10 pm–1 am. Friday: Club Escandalo, 2053 Wirt, 8–10 pm; Viviana’s, 5219 Washington, 10 pm–midnite; Midtowne Spa, 3100 Fannin, 10 pm–1 am; Club Kalipso, 6806 Longpoint, midnite–2 am. Saturday: Club Inergy, 5750 Chimney Rock, 9 pm–midnite. The clinic offers classes for those newly diagnosed with HIV or Hepatitis C. For more info: 713/830-3000.

9–13 (Wed.–Sun.)

Rime of the Budget Mariner. The 16th annual Houston Boat Show features all sorts of boats at affordable prices, fishing tackle, marine accessories, travel and safety information, a rainbow trout fishing tank, marine insurance, financing, and more. Those looking for a giggle will get a kick out of Twiggy the water-skiing squirrel. Reliant Center, Wed.–Fri. 1–9 pm, Sat. 10 am–9 pm, Sun. 10 am–6 pm. $7 (children under 12 $3). Info: www.houstonboatshows.com.

12 (Sat.)

Master & Servant. The Absolut Leather Style n Country Swing features a fashion show of the finest and sexiest leather styles from Black Hawk Leather, Leather Forever, and Leather in Exile of Houston. Charlie Pachaeo the “Castro Cowboy” provides live musical entertainment. With live video feeds and Meteor’s many video screens, there won’t be a bad seat in the house. The fundraising leather happening benefits the Donald R. Watkins Foundation and Bering Omega Community Services. $15 in advance, $20 at the door. 4–6 pm at Meteor, 2306 Genessee. For more information, call 713-521-0123.

12 (Sat.)

Up Against the Wall! The Orange Show collaborates with the Simon Kidgit’s Club, Kidgits Get Cultural, to bring a self-portrait mural workshop to the Galleria. Materials and admission are free to Kidgits members and $5 for everyone else. Accomplished muralist Majik shows you how to take your colorful personality and transform it into a colorful mural to take home. 12–3 pm at the Galleria expansion wing between Foley’s and Nordstrom.

15 (Tue.)

Running on Empty is one of those eternal songs of rock-n-roll. For some, Jackson Browne’s music first entered the psyche with a scene from Fast Times at Ridgemont High where a young Jennifer Jason Leigh loses her virginity in a baseball dugout while “Somebody’s Baby” plays in the background. Joining Browne are Steve Earle and the bluesy Keb Mo. Tickets range from $19.50–$49.50. 7 pm at Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion, 2005 Lake Robbins Dr., The Woodlands. For tickets: Ticketmaster at 713/629-3700.

25 (Fri.)

Mr. Jones and Me. Sensitive rockers agree: You just can’t resist the emotive voice of Adam Duritz. And those dreads make cute eye-candy, too. Viewed by some as the poet’s band, these mop-tops from the ’90s continue their cacophony of catharsis with tender tunes like “Anna Begins,” “A Long December” and “Round Here.” $35.50 & $45.50. 7 pm at Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion, 2005 Lake Robbins Dr., The Woodlands. Tickets: Ticketmaster at 713/629-3700.

26 (Sat.)

Totally ’80s. The Orange Show revives the goofiness of the ’80s with the 1981 teen-slasher spoof, Student Bodies. This surprisingly clean comedy (especially when compared to Scary Movie or Not Another Teen Movie) is rated R for a single swear word and sexual innuendo and offers the silliest murder weapons ever (a paperclip? an eggplant? huh?). A preceding show with’80s retro-musicians Molly and the Ringwalds and free popcorn bring it all together. $4, $3 for Orange Show members. Molly and the Ringwalds play at 7:30 pm, movie starts around 9 pm. 2401 Munger St. Info: 713/926-6368 or www.orangeshow.org.

PLANNING AHEAD FOR AUGUST

August 8 (Fri.)

3 Women. Directed by Robert Altman, this moody, thought-provoking film begins with a strange girl named Pinky (Sissy Spacek) who takes a job at a convalescent home. Pinky moves in with coworker Millie (Shelley Duvall), who has pretensions on becoming a socialite. After moving in together, Pinky assumes Millie’s personality and finds passage into the social circles Millie has always wished she could join. When the pregnant artist wife of a mutual friend gets her hands on the two, the real turmoil begins. $6 ($5 for MFAH members, seniors, and students with ID). 7 pm at the Museum of Fine Arts, 1001 Bissonnet. Info: 713/639-7515 or www.mfah.org.

PERFORMING ARTS

• Always … Patsy Cline. Directed by Stages’ founding artistic director Ted Swindley, this play premiered at Stages in ’88. Now one of the most often-performed stage productions in the U.S., Always… is set in Houston and centers on the true story of Houston housewife Louise Seger and her lifelong friendship with Patsy Cline that begun when the two met while Cline was performing in Houston. The play features a live band and performances of over 20 of Cline’s songs and explores through Cline’s letters and Seger’s commentary the humor, sadness, and mutual respect shared between the two women. $25. July 9–August 17 @ Stages, 3201 Allen Pkwy at Waugh Dr. Tickets: 713/527-0123 or www.stagestheatre.com.

• Bonjour, la’, Bonjour. Dos chicas theater commune takes a bold risk at one of society’s remaining and darker taboos. In this story by Michael Tremblay, one of Canada’s leading playwrights, Serge returns home from overseas to consummate a love affair with one of his sisters. Rather than condemn him, his other two sisters also seek his affections. Rather than throw him out on his lecherous ass, Serge’s father reveals his own taste for incest and offers understanding and consolation. Can it get any more messed up than this? Oedipus Rex, Scmoedipus Rex. Needless to say, this one’s for adults only. $10 ($6 for seniors and students). July 11–August 2, 8 pm, upstairs at Helios, 411 Westheimer. For tickets: 713/201-0193.

• Chicago. Fosse, murderesses and all that jazz. The fantastically funny and moving musical story of Velma Kelley, Roxie Hart, and Billy Flynn exits the screen and returns to the stage. $25–$68. July 22–27 @ The Hobby Center. Tickets available by calling 713/558-8887 or at www.tuts.com.

• The Foreigner. Written by Larry Shue and directed by James Black, this play follows Englishmen Charlie and his friend, Froggy, on a fishing trip to the backwoods of Georgia. When Froggy has to leave his friend in the hands of a gaggle of oddballs, he protects the exceptionally shy Charlie by proclaiming he does not speak a word of English. Certain he doesn’t understand them, people have no qualms spilling their secrets in his presence. Madcap hilarity reaches a pinnacle when Charlie and the abscess of abnormal lodgers confront the mean-ol’ Owen Musser. July 25–August 10 @ The Alley Theatre Large Stage, 615 Texas Ave. Tickets: 713/228-8421 or www.alleytheatre.org.

• Galveston the Musical, Bootleg to the Balinese Room. Galveston Island’s golden age lasted between 1910 and 1940. A Sicilian immigrant couple living then and there, Sam and Rose Maceo, struggle to live out the American Dream in their new home. Written by Galvestonian Dr. Bobby Wilkins, the musical comedy places us right in the center of the glamour of high society Galveston in the good ol’ daze. $25–$35. July 11–August 3 @ the Strand Theatre in Galveston, 2317 Ship’s Mechanic Row. Tickets available by calling 409/763-4591 or toll free at 877/STRAND 9.

• Grandpa Hasn’t Moved in Days. The Fertle family returns home for a funeral, only to find the deceased’s dying request a cause for hilarity. Written by Radio Music Theatre’s Steve Farrell, Grandpa (like any Fertle comedy) stars a mere three actors who play countless characters, with each one as distinct as a thumbprint. $18. Through August 30 @ Radio Music Theatre, 2623 Colquitt, near Richmond and Kirby. Showtimes vary. Tickets available at the box office or by calling 713/522-7722.

• Killer Karaoke and Come Up and Slay Me Sometime are presented by Mystery Café, home of Comedy Murder Mystery Dinner Theater. • Killer Karaoke: The Gulf Coast Regional Semi-Final Three Steps Before National Silver Microphone Karaoke Competition will continue, despite an “accidental” fire and a crazed karaoke serial killer stalking the contestants. Anybody who’s actually listened to karaoke will probably side with the killer, if they can figure his or her identity. • Come Up and Slay Me Sometime: Bathtub gin isn’t the only illegal thing going on in this 1920s floating speakeasy—there’s a dead body lying around, and nobody can call the cops. Featuring special appearances by Mae West, Charles Lindbergh, and Abraham Lincoln. • Killer Karaoke plays Fridays; Come Up and Slay Me Sometime plays Saturdays. Both shows presented at 8 pm at Marriott West Loop, 1750 West Loop South at San Felipe. Reservations required: 713/944-2583 or www.mysterycafe houston.com.

• Medea, The Remix. Euripides probably never saw director Ann C. James’s interpretation of his play coming. James’s theater group, dada, is known for taking risks and turning established stories on their ears (remember The 8, their Christmas play at DiverseWorks about Santa molesting Rudolph and raping Vixen?). Poor Euripides. dAdA’s gonna tear this Greek a new one. $15 ($10 for students/seniors). July 9–Aug. 2 @ Theatre LaB Houston, 1706 Alamo. Tickets: 713/528-0884.

• The Mousetrap, an Agatha Christie classic, finds an eccentric group of guests snowbound in a country hotel. Murder befouls them. But who is the killer? The mysterious foreigner? The peculiar young man? The retired major? The host and hostess? July 4–20 @ The Alley Theatre Large Stage, 615 Texas Ave. Tickets: 713/228-8421 or www.alleytheatre.org.

• The Sound of Music. The hills are alive, at least the wee hill at Hermann Park facing the Miller Outdoor Theatre stage is alive when Theatre Under the Stars presents this classic of classic musicals. Pack your blankie, lots of citronella, some sharp cheese and wine. When the blue cheese bites, when the mosquito stings, these are a few of our favorite things. Free. July 6–11 @ Miller Outdoor Theatre in Hermann Park. For more infor-mation, call 713/558-2600 or visit www.tuts.com.

• Tamalalia 8: Tamarie Makes It Big! After being asked for the zillionth time why she hasn’t moved on to the big time, Tamarie Cooper—Infernal Bridegroom Productions’ answer to Lucille Ball—finally decides to make the big move to La-La Land. Anyone who’s ever seen any of the previous seven Tamalalia installments knows that very little ever goes right for her. But in the process of her misadventures, music, dancing, hilarity, and fashion shows are always imminent. With a salute to our dear bayou city, a TV sitcom pilot, a salacious women’s prison scene, and (likely) gobs of cleavage, Ms. Cooper promises more summertime titillation than ever. $5.99–$17. Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays at 8 pm and Saturdays at 10:30 pm, July 17–Aug. 30 at the Axiom, 2524 McKinney. Tickets: 713/522-8443. More info: www.infernalbridegroom.com/archives/t8.html.

• The Women, by Clare Booth Luce, focuses on the hypocritical lives of a small group of New York socialites. Moreover, this brutal comedy makes astute observations about how women can damage themselves by defining their lives through men. $20–$30. Through July 27 @ Main Street Theater, Chelsea Market, 4617 Montrose Blvd. Tickets: 713/524-6706, at www.mainstreettheater.com, www.ticketweb.com, or at the box office at Main Street Theater.

PERFORMING ARTS FOR YOUNG PEOPLE

• Ramona Quimby has been the star of a popular book series for kids of all ages. Ramona finds out her father has lost his job. Trying to help out with the family, lil’ Miss Quimby discovers that being a grownup is hard work and, as her sister Beezus puts it, “being a kid and trying to become a grownup is even harder.” $8 for children ($10 adults). Through July 25 @ Main Street Theater at Chealsea Market, 4617 Montrose Blvd. Tickets available by calling 713/524-6706, at the box office, or at www.mainstreettheater.com, www.ticketweb.com.

• Snow White and Rose Red are threatened with destruction. Will their kingdom in the forest be safe? Will magic and mischief conquer? In this fairy tale by Houstonians Kate Pogue and Rob Landes, truth and kindness prevail. Through July 27 @ Stages, 1301 Allen Pkwy. Tickets available by calling 713/527-0220 or at www.stagestheatre.com.

RADIO

• After Hours. Saturdays, midnight to 3 am. Featuring the QMZ (Queer Music Zone) with Jimmy Carper. KPFT 90.1 FM, 713/526-5738.

• Queer Voices. Mondays, 8-10 pm. Features, news, music, interviews, reviews, and commentary. KPFT 90.1 FM, 713/526-4000.

ART/PHOTOGRAPHY

• The BIG Show. This annual juried exhibition results from the selection of works submitted by artists living in Houston and its surrounding counties. Come for the art. Stay to see the looks of joy and affirmation on the faces of the artists who win cash prizes. Lawndale is dedicated to the presentation of contemporary art with a penchant for local artists. Reception July 11, 6:30–8:30 pm with awards announced at 7:30 pm. Exhibit lasts through August 23 @ Lawndale Art Center, 4912 Main St. For more information, call 713/528-5858.

• Figure Fiction. East meets West when Japanese

fiber artist Shizuko Kimura and local sculptor Mindy Herrin explore innovative looks at the human form. Herrin combines metal with alternative materials to create playful representations and intertwined perceptions of the body and nature. Kimura creates tension in her needlework by completing them in front of her model or object. Free. July 5–27 @ the Houston Center for Contemporary Craft, 4848 Main Street. For more information, call 713/529-4848 or visit www.crafthouston.org.

• Gathering of the Guilds. Almost sounds like a comic book title, doesn’t it? This meeting provides an opportunity for local area guilds to make their presence known to the public. Organizations such as the Wood Turners, Potters Guild, Hand-weavers Guild, Texas Clay, Houston Quilt Guild, and others are on hand with demonstrations, information, and workshops. Free. July 8–11 @ the Houston Center for Contemporary Craft, 4848 Main St. For more information, call 713/529-4848 or visit www.crafthouston.org.

• James Rosenquist: A Retrospective. Lichtenstein, Warhol, Rosenquist. All pop artists who draw from the images of advertising and mass media to create visual commentaries on life. From his early days as a billboard painter to his recent use of abstract technique, Rosenquist demonstrates an evolving mastery of color, line, texture, and shape. The retrospective of his work, organized by the Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum in New York, debuts in Houston and is divided into two exhibits; his early work (the late ‘50s-1970) can be viewed at the Menil Collection; his work after 1970 can be seen at the Museum of Fine Arts. Through August 17 @ the Menil Collection, 1515 Sul Ross. For more information, call 713/525-9400 or visit www.menil.org. Free. The Museum of Fine Arts, Houston is located at 1001 Bissonnet and can be reached at 713/639-7540 or visit www.mfah.org.

• One Big Red Heart. The Jung Center’s exhibit features recent works by the homeless children of ArtBridge Houston and other children who participate in Jung Center outreach programs. Free. July 19–August 28 at the Jung Center, 5200 Montrose. For more information, call 713/524-8253.

• Sanctuaries: The Late Works of John Hejduk. This is no typical architectural retrospective. Not at the Menil. John Hejduk is best known for his designs that remained on paper, theoretical designs that returned architecture to a level of art and spirituality. Known for elemental biomorphism (buildings that seem to have eyes, hair, beaks, legs), a preference for geometrical form and typological variation, Hejduk’s work thematically explores falling from grace, passage, transformation, and architecture as sanctuary, a place of nurture. Through August 31 @ the Menil Collection, 1515 Sul Ross. For more information, call 713/525-9400 or visit www.menil.org. Free.

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