Beyond Us vs. Them Arthur Dong's Family Fundamentals seeks to bridge the gap between Christian fundamentalists and the gay community by John Stiles

Arthur and his boyfriend were hanging onto the VW bus as it took off up the hill. The teenage boys pursuing them were still hurling insults and eggs as the van carried them to safety. It was the mid-'70s in the Castro district in San Francisco. Gay bashing was not getting much press back then, but these boys were not done yet and their night's activity would find its way into the national media.

It was Arthur Dong's first experience with the anger and violence of gay bashing, and it inspired him to produce the award-winning documentary Licensed to Kill. Filmed shortly after Matthew Shepherd's beating death in Utah, Licensed to Kill takes us into the prison cells of men convicted of murdering gay men. Talking with Dong from his Los Angeles office recently, I asked him about that experience. "I met most of those men seconds before the cameras rolled. For many, it was the first time they talked of their crimes at that level." Dong was surprised at the frequency of references to family and religion. Determined to understand what bred the contempt for homosexuality that led these men to murder, Arthur Dong next turned his camera on three conservative Christian families with gay and lesbian children.

Family Fundamentals takes us into the home of Susan Jester, daughter of Kathleen Bremner, a Pentecostal church leader in San Diego; Brett Mathews, son of a Mormon bishop; and Brian Bennett, who, from 1977 to 1989, served as chief of staff and campaign manager to former congressman and outspoken gay rights critic Bob Dornan. These are shattered families. Jester no longer talks with her mother, Bennett talks with his surrogate father Dornan through a call-in radio talk show, and Mathews gets weekly letters from his parents with suggestions for a cure.

Filmmaker Dong easily moves between Kathleen Bremner's living room, Brian Bennett's bedroom, and Brett Mathews's hotel. Bremner hosts a meeting of the ministry she founded for parents of children who have "become gay." The mother of a man who died from AIDS talks of wanting "them all to die" and then wanting to "save" just one. Bennett shows us photos and memorabilia of his time with Dornan while defending him as a complex and multi-faceted man. Dong cuts to Dornan condemning gays and lesbians from the floor of the House of Representatives.

In one of the film's most touching scenes, Mathews comes to terms with his estrangement from his Mormon family. Hoping for reconciliation, he flies home for his grandmother's wedding. His family agrees to participate in Dong's documentary but refuses the moment he arrives. When his parents recommend electric shock therapy, Mathews loses hope and packs his bags for home. The moment is relentlessly recorded by Dong. I asked him about the obvious difficulty of remaining detached as he films. "Remaining silent at those moments is the hardest thing. I can feel the pain and have to let it happen. If I let myself be drawn in, I'll soon have nothing left."

The contrasts are stark and drawn without comment. We see Kathleen Bremner talk of compassion and condemnation in the same eerily even tones while her gay grandson describes the pain of her condemnation. Bennett's tearful description of his break with Dornan is followed by the congressman's almost glib recollection of events. Mathews's anguish is played out against his father's letters calling him to heal his homosexuality.

In our conversation, Dong talked of being baffled by "this fundamentalist God that has taken hold of our culture." Mystified by the mentality of "us versus them," he hopes his films can spur dialogue across the chasm that separates us. To that end, he formed an advisory board for Family Fundamentals, drawing individuals from Christian fundamentalists as well as gay and lesbian organizations. I asked him if his board meetings were a challenge. "I wish I could afford the airfare to bring them all together in one place," he answered. He plans to conduct town hall-type meetings in "cities where it might help carry the message."

This is a message forged 25 years ago in the Castro district of San Francisco. The same boys who attacked Dong and his boyfriend bludgeoned an Episcopal priest later that same night. The pain and violence born of judgment and intolerance do not discriminate. Family Fundamentals shows us the damage done within what were once loving families.

Family Fundamentals plays July 26 - Aug. 1 at Angelika Film Center, 510 Texas Ave., 713/225-5232.