Humor

Sing a Song of Pride
Birds do it, bees do it, even Irish bankers overseas do it–let’s do it, let’s celebrate Pride
by Sally Sheklow

Pop Quiz: Which is celebrated around the world by lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered people and our allies every year? a.) The Stonewall Rebellion b.) Stonewall Jackson, c.) Michael Jackson.

If you picked "a," congratulations.

Yes, at a gay bar called the Stonewall Inn in New York City on June 27, 1969, during a routine raid, the patrons, fed up with constant police harassment, kicked and screamed and refused to get into the paddy wagons. They ripped up parking meters and threw Molotov cocktails and otherwise blew the minds of the police, who never expected mild-mannered dykes and sissies to go so berserk. Gay people and allies from all over Greenwich Village joined the melee and rioted in the streets for four days while the world watched on TV. What became known as the Stonewall Rebellion brought attention to gay people’s struggle for equality and justice under the law. (Which, 33 years later, in case you’re keeping tabs, we still don’t have.)

But everyone already knows all that, right? Don’t students learn about Stonewall in grade school where their teachers hand out little rainbow-striped Gay Pride flag outlines to color in? Don’t news commentators review the Stonewall Rebellion every year and discuss its profound significance? Don’t rabbis and ministers give special sermons on Gay Pride Day to remind their flocks to love your neighbor, regardless of sexual orientation? No? Wait. Let me sit down. I am shocked. You mean to tell me that every year I traipse around a grassy park all day without enough sun screen on, listen to music, eat chocolate-dipped ice cream, and run into old lovers and friends whose names I suddenly realize I no longer remember, all in celebration of a holiday you didn’t even know about?

Gay Pride Day has happened every year since Stonewall, but it is NOT pre-printed in my Day Runner date book like other important occasions: "June Bank Holiday–Ireland" for example. (And I mean no offense to Irish bankers.) But we’re a strong people and we’re not going to let a little thing like being left out of the calendar keep us from asserting our right to tromp through the grass risking sunburn and forgetting old friends’ names. Every year hundreds of thousands of us bravely come out of the closet (or the board room or the PTA or wherever) and participate in Gay Pride Day celebrations. We gather in communities around the world to celebrate human diversity, lobby for equality, and drip melting chocolate on our T-shirts.

It might be a little tricky to find out about the Gay Pride events where you live unless your town has its own gay newspaper. You could try looking it up on the Internet, but beware. If you type in "gay" or "lesbian" you’ll get some tacky porn site run by seedy little men exercising what they call their "freedom of speech" and you’ll end up with a kazillion e-mail spams inviting you to ENLARGE YOUR PENIS!!!! I get these messages every day and I sure wish I knew who to call to say that we don’t even have any penises in our house. But it’s just as hard (excuse the expression) to stop the EARN $6,000 A WEEK WORKING FROM HOME!!!! messages that fill my e-mail in-box. I have yet to get a message that says "ACHIEVE EQUAL RIGHTS!!!!"

That’s the message you’ll get at Gay Pride Day. Once you find out where it is, come on out (so to speak)–everybody’s welcome. I would love to see you there. Come join the festivities in the park and groove on the music, listen to speakers, sign a petition, buy a rainbow bumper sticker, meet some new people. Heck, I’ll even introduce you to my friends, if I can remember their names.

Sally Sheklow lives and writes in Eugene, Oregon, where she performs with the WYMPROV! comedy improvisation troupe. Her column "Living Out" appears in several newsweeklies and magazines across the country. Send comments to: sally@wymprov.com.