BAR GUIDE

Houston

Bocados

This homey Mexican restaurant serves comfort food in a colorful setting, but on Wednesday nights, Houston’s women turn out for dancing and socializing until 1 am. Popular with gay and straight alike. The Sunday brunch starts at 11am and doesn’t end till 3 in the afternoon. 1312 W. Alabama • 713/523-5230.

Brazos River Bottom

Best known as the BRB, Houston’s premiere country-western bar brings you denim, boots, and cowboy hats. Located just outside the Montrose, this bar calls Midtown home. Voted the "Best Place to Two-Step," the BRB has two huge bars to serve you–not to mention a great bar staff. Whether dancing, playing pool, or just cruising around, you’re sure to see some true Texas kicker dancing. 2400 Brazos • 713/528-9192.

BRICKS II

This neighborhood bar on Fairview boasts a jukebox loaded with C/W music. With cement floors, cold draft, and the occasional cowboy hat, you can belly up and drink your fill in a low-key atmosphere where regulars rule. 617 Fairview • 713/523-7217.

Chances/New Barn/G-spot

Keeping up the Houston tradition of HUGE lesbian bars, this three-in-one spot gives you a place to two-step, rock, and sit down and talk–all under one very large roof. Voted "Best Honky Tonk & Upscale Lesbian Bar" in OutSmart’s Readers’ Poll. 1100 Westheimer • 713/523-7217.

Chulo’s Ice House

Chulo’s does a great job of creating a friendly, quirky atmosphere. Built from the remnants of a gas station, Chulo’s is a step sideways from the usual icehouse. The purple-felt pool table, leopard-print columns and table tops, funky lamps, and cool Johnny Cash poster on the fridge welcome you. 512 Elgin • 713/520-5218.

Club BIG YO

Houston’s new lesbian bar that, according to its mission statement, puts "our ladies on top where they belong. This is an all girls production; our male friends are welcome." Thurs.: talent night. Fri. & Sat. nights: black male Chippendale & female dancers. Sun.: no cover all night, special shows/events emceed by Flawless Oz. 6305 Skyline • 713/953-0268; hotline 281/322-0394; www.clubbigyo.com.

Club Rainbow

A mixed male and female crowd, this bar
is just off the curve in Montrose. DJ,
dancing, in a relaxed atmosphere. 1417-B Westheimer • 713/522-5166.

COUSIN’S

Best little drag bar in the heart of Montrose. Drag aficionados pack the place on week-ends for its campy shows. 817 Fairview • 713/528-9204.

E/J’s

It might be on the western end of Montrose, but it attracts a crowd from all over while keeping the charm of a local colorful hangout. Now with three bars, one inside, one outside, and one on the new second floor patio, you never have to wait for a cocktail, so drink up and enjoy the nightly entertainment on and off the stage. 2517 Ralph • 713/527-9071.

Guava Lamp

This funky little spot is the perfect place to grab a cocktail, listen to your favorite tunes, and maybe shoot a round of pool. Like its name, it’s groovy, hip, and a tad bit kitschy. 2159 Portsmouth • 713/524-3359.

INCOGNITO THE CLUB

Giving Houston’s black gay community "a place to party comfortably" since 1995. The host of the annual mega-blast Houston-Splash ("the South’s largest African-American GLBT Weekend"), Incognito recently moved to its current huge three-level space. Friday night is girls’ night, Saturday is for the boys, and Sunday is a male & female strip show. But every-
body is welcome every night. 3704 Fannin • 713/237-9431.

J.R.’s/Santa Fe

Where do you meet the boys? Right here, at one of Houston’s gay institutions. JR’s boasts everything from pool tables to karaoke to table dancers, depending on the day of the week. 808/804 Pacific • 713/521-2519.

Keys West

It’s Cheers in Neartown. Must-see décor featuring a piano bar and guest entertainment, Tue.—Sat. Check out the clientele, and if you think they look familiar, you’ve probably seen them over at the Briar Patch. Say hello to owners Joe and Jerry and their seasoned bar staff. 817 W. Dallas • 713/571-7870.

Mary’s

THE venerable local neighborhood bar in the Montrose. Largest private garden patio anywhere in Houston and an inside and outside bar to serve you. Enjoy a game of pool or darts, or just join the men relaxing at the bar. Always a great gathering place for local events, everyone should see the Pride Parade from the roof of Mary’s at least once. 1022 Westheimer • 713/527-9669.

Mela’s

Houston’s favorite little Tejano and country-western bar, this joint is mostly women, pool tables, and music. 302 Tuam • 713/523-0747.

Meteor

A step up from the rest, Meteor offers a relaxing but chic atmosphere with its overstuffed couches and fancy glassware. Handsome men and darling women gather here any night of the week for drinks and conversation. The friendly bar staff makes this video lounge a great place to catch your favorite TV or music videos. Winner of OutSmart Readers’ choice award for "Best New Club." 2306 Genesee • 713/521-0123.

MO MONG

Voted "Best Martini" by OutSmart readers, every Wednesday night the guys and gals come out in droves to enjoy the multiple martini specials. Located just behind the old Tower Theatre (now Hollywood Video), this Vietnamese restaurant’s downstairs lobby and outside patio do double duty as a bar for the mob on Wednesday nights. 1201 Westheimer #B • 713/524-5664.

MONTROSE MINING CO.

Hang out with the leather/denim crowd in this popular bar with an awesome stereo system and gorgeous male dancers every night of the week. If the dancers get you overheated, head outside to the two-level back patio bar to chill out. 805 Pacific • 713/529-7488.

NSOMNIA

Houston’s premiere after-hours club. Enjoy your favorite cocktail here until 6am, Wed. through Sun., but only if you bring your own. This BYOB after-hours offers a game room, large outside patio, and great music, where you can dance till dawn. 202 Tuam • 713/522-6100.

Outpost

Minutes from the heart of Montrose, this country-style bar always has something going on. Play pool, watch a show, or just hang out with the regulars at this local hangout with a lot of charm. 1419 Richmond • 713/520-8446.

Pacific Street

The heat is on at Pacific Street, where this two-story industrial-style nightclub will get you sweaty. With the best drink prices in town, you can dance all night or hang out on the balcony for a better view of the strip–or sneak out to the secluded back patio for a secret rendezvous. 710 Pacific Street • 713-523-0213.

Rainbow Room

Out of the Montrose and outside the Loop, this is a welcome spot on the Northside. 527 Barren Springs off Ella • 281/872-0215.

Ranch hill saloon

Located 30 miles north of Houston in Conroe, this spot features daily drink specials, live entertainment, & Wednesday karaoke night with Heather & Music Express. Tuesday is college night. 2111 Airport Rd. • 936/441-6426.

Ripcord

This "man’s bar" in Montrose was voted "Best Place to Show off Your Leather." With three bars (two inside; one outside) manned by the best bartenders in town to serve you, you’ll never go thirsty. Whether inside or on the newly expanded back patio, this is the hottest place in town, where cruising takes on a whole new meaning. 715 Fairview • 713/521-2792.

Rich’s

The meeting place for the hip and gay (or just hip) for over 20 years, the iconic two-story danceteria Rich’s still packs ’em in. OutSmart readers bestowed several honors on this local favorite in this year’s Gayest and Greatest, including "Friendliest Bar Staff" and "Best Club If You’re Under 21." Outstanding light and laser shows add to the varied pumped-up music. 2401 San Jacinto • 713-759-9606.

611

You can wake up and go straight (uh, gaily) to this neighborhood bar that opens at 7 am. You will always find lots of men there, from the youngest allowed to the oldest. Good bartenders ready to serve you. Play pool, throw darts, relax in their garden-style patio or just hang around their large bar and you will be sure to meet someone. Check out their buffets on Fridays and Sundays. 611 Hyde Park • 713/526-7070.

South Beach

From the ashes of the club Heaven has risen one fine phoenix. An instant hit with the in crowd, the splashy new South Beach is the place for high-energy dancing. Its cutting-edge design and techno-chic sound system keeps the mixed crowd of chicly dressed & shirtless boys pumped up late into the night. 810 Pacific • 713/529-7623.

Galveston

Blvd Saloon

A perfect place for a relaxing cocktail or fun-filled evening of socializing & enter- tainment. Big walk-around bar & dance floor, on the Seawall, with a great view of the ocean, especially from the new 2nd-floor deck. Entertainment on weekends. 3102 Seawall • 409/750-8571.

Garza’s Kon Tiki

The gay bar for the Island. Conveniently close to all Galveston’s celebration spots, the Kon Tiki is close to the Strand district and the Pier. It’s the place to go dancing, with male & female entertainers on week-ends–and, of course, the "show girls." AIDS Coalition of Coastal Texas benefit: Sat., Jun. 1 with Misty Valdez & her 15th annual extravaganza "Quinceanera." 315 Tremont (23rd) • 409/765-5805.

Jimmy’s ON the Beach

The tropical décor & full wall of windows overlooking the Gulf give you plenty to please the eyes. Located on the East end makes it convenient to stop in on your way to & from East Beach. Male dancers & "showgirls" on weekends. Open noon—2 am, seven days a week, with happy-hour prices on every drink every day until 8 pm. Corner of 9th and Seawall (904 Ave M) • 409/765-6911.

MYRA’S CANTINA

Galveston’s newest bar opened its doors Mar. 13. Well-known island entertainer Myra Sanchez & her business partner Charles Pena ("Sisters") opened this distinctly Latin neighborhood cantina. They offer beer, wine & setups, real cheap (you provide liquor for the setups). There’s a pool table, game machines, juke box & TV(Latin station). Myra & Charles plan their grand opening Sat., May 11. 813 21st Street, between Ball & Sealy.

Robert’s Lafitte

A real neighborhood bar, the clientele is as colorful as the chandeliers that adorn this Island institution. Great place to be yourself or who you would like to be or who you think you are! Sit out on the private lush tropical patio & grab some of that nice Gulf breeze. Two blocks from the Seawall. 2501 Ave Q, corner of 25th • 409/765-9092.

 Beaumont

THE COPA

This bar lives up to its name as a hot dance club. This two-story fun complex has pool tables, a spacious stage, & a staircase that would make Norma Desmond green with envy. You’ll be entertained by some of the prettiest "show girls" from the Golden Triangle. The bar of Beaumont, and the hangout for the hip crowd from Lamar University. 304 Orleans • 409/832-4206.

Crockett St. Station

A sweet, cozy neighborhood bar. Cute, friendly bartenders serve up your favorite cocktail while you play pool and socialize. It’s right around the corner from the Copa, so visit both on your next trip to Beaumont. 304 Orleans • 409/832-4306.