Honorary Pride Marshals

Blake & Gordon Weisser
The "grandparents" of PFLAG advocate for gay children everywhere
by Roger Donley
Photo by J. Roe Photography

Blake and Gordon Weisser were reluctant to be nominated as honorary grand marshals in the Pride Parade. Instead, the Weissers wanted the focus to be on the organization they are so proud to support: Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG). When the community elected both the Weissers and PFLAG as Pride marshals this year, the Weissers were delighted.

The Weissers work tirelessly promoting equal rights for all. Few are as effective or as dedicated: Gordon and Blake have visited school districts, counselors, churches, community centers, and universities as a couple and as speakers on panels. They have lobbied in Austin and Washington and marched in Pride parades. Gordon also has been a Pride Parade judge.

"My personal mission is making PFLAG visible so that other parents will be aware that there is support for them when they learn that they have a gay child," Blake said. Blake joined the PFLAG Houston board five years ago. She volunteered at all three PFLAG-sponsored "Healing the Hurt" educational workshops, which draw hundreds of educators and others from across Texas. She helped coordinate the "Healing the Hurt" conference in 1997. Gordon has been PFLAG’s treasurer for three years and was very involved from the beginning with the PFLAG/H.A.T.C.H. Youth Scholarship program. Blake has been a Help Line Mom for the PFLAG Help Line (713-46P-FLAG) for four years. This couple has directly and indirectly touched the lives of hundreds of families in innumerable ways.

Gordon, 74, and Blake, 82, have been married for 25 years. Gordon is Canadian and has two sons who live in Edmonton. Blake grew up in Oklahoma City and has two daughters, Judith in California and Valerie in Delaware. The Weissers have 10 grandchildren and five great-grandchildren.

During the 1980s, Blake volunteered at Compass, a ministry to the disadvantaged and unemployed. She became known as "The Letter Lady" for her work with S.E.A.R.C.H., encouraging the homeless to stay connected with family by writing letters and cards. She also volunteered to teach English to Spanish-speaking children.

When Blake was 61, Valerie came out to Blake. At the time, Valerie was married and had three teenage sons. "It was a shock. My chief concern was for my three grandsons and how they would be affected," Blake said. She also was very concerned about Valerie and knew that it took a lot of courage for her to come out to her husband and family.

After Valerie came out, the Weissers spent 11 years "in the closet," with no one to speak to about their concerns. They had no idea there could be a support group for parents like them. Then, one Sunday, a group from PFLAG visited their church.

"The first person I ever heard say she had a lesbian daughter was Gail Rickey," Blake said. A panel of PFLAG parents came to Christ Church Cathedral to speak at the Adult Education Hour. "Now I had hope." Even today, the impact of that experience on the Weissers is almost palpable. Instantly, the Weissers had support and could connect with other parents.

In 1996, Gordon and Blake participated in a campaign called "Moms and Dads Go To Washington." Thirty parents left Houston but a total of 100 parents from all over the United States converged on the capital for appointments with their senators and representatives. The parents lobbied for the Employment Non-Discrimination Act and other legal protections for their gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered children.

While at a candlelight service in Washington, Blake experienced a transforming moment. "I remember the moment I became an advocate for children," Blake said. Each participant lit a candle and claimed someone that he or she would stand up for. Blake claimed Valerie. Gordon claimed Valerie’s partner of 17 years, Jean. Then Blake in her heart decided, "I will stand up and claim all the children whose parents were not standing up for them."

With characteristic optimism, the Weissers take advantage of every opportunity. When Blake spotted Jesse Helms with a group of constituents in the Capitol, she asked him for support for equal rights for gays. He said he felt sorry for them. She responded firmly but politely that they did not need his "sympathy," but wanted equal rights for their children. Helms appeared embarrassed and began sputtering.

Gordon has received some negative feedback because he is an open supporter of equality. Gordon was a Republican Precinct Chair for two years. Once, an angry member of the Christian Coalition confronted Gordon. "I saw you on the cover of OutSmart," he said, as though daring Gordon either to deny it or justify it. "Yes," Gordon replied. The man challenged Gordon again: "I saw you twice on the cover of OutSmart!" Gordon agreed. Gordon ultimately left the Republican Party because of the radical nature of the precinct. "I wanted no part of their Religious Right business."

Blake encountered homophobia closer to home. When her sister learned that Blake was interviewed at the U.S. Capitol speaking in favor of gay and lesbian rights, she was so angry that Blake feared estrangement. Today, Blake’s family is slowly becoming more accepting of Valerie and Jean.

The Weissers believe the GLBT community especially appreciates the support of parents. At last year’s Pride Parade, the crowds enthusiastically cheered for PFLAG all along the parade route. However, some parade-watchers were surprised to see the Weissers. One shouted in amazement, "Look! It’s someone’s grandmother!" Later, Blake stopped to hug a young woman who was so moved that she started crying when she saw the PFLAG group.

To many, Blake and Gordon symbolize all supportive parents. For example, once as the Weissers entered a meeting of the GLBT Chamber of Commerce, they were welcomed with "Here comes PFLAG." However, as Blake points out, "PFLAG is more than just parents. Membership includes the GLBT community and fair-minded people willing to stand up for and work for social justice issues."

When asked what members of the community who want to help can do, Blake answered without hesitation, "Join PFLAG."

Roger Donley serves on the boards of the Houston chapters of the ACLU and PFLAG, and is an attorney practicing in the Intellectual Property Department at Baker Botts L.L.P.