PRIDE HIGHLIGHTS

When I’m 64 ...
A new organization dedicated to recognizing long-term gay relationships
by Thomas Chelena

I was at the Ripcord the other day and I heard a guy holler across the bar, "Dave, what do’ya say, is this the day?" I saw this Dave shaking his head no and pointing to a man who was ordering a drink at the bar. As some of us do at bars, I went over to talk with the guys and found out there was a "thing" going on between Dave and this guy (I learned his name was Terry). It seemed Dave and Terry must have hit it off and were planning a spontaneous rendezvous in the future, but in the meantime, love blossomed and Dave found himself a boyfriend. Dave, smiling as proud as he could, said, "This is Michael, my new boyfriend." Now a group of guys gathered around to hear the story. Terry joked with the "newlyweds," but, with love in their eyes, Dave and his new boyfriend, Michael, spoke up with as much pride and commitment as any newlyweds and said, "We are going to try and be only with each other." What a cool thing to say; Dave and Michael got lots of hugs and kisses and words of congratulation. I couldn’t have been happier for the two of them.

Dave and Michael need to be encouraged to persevere in their relationship. Who will be there for them? Who will be their role model? Will a couple please help!

There are more couples in long-term relationships than most people think. Even though there is much talk in the media these days about partner benefits and marriage for same-sex couples, there is little knowledge as to the number of same-sex couples in long-term relationships. Some would say it is understandable for the straight community not to realize how many same-sex couples there are, but it is more surprising how many people in the gay community don’t realize the large number of long-term relationships.

Last May, Daniel and I celebrated our 25th anniversary of sharing our lives together. We had a full year of celebrations. It started with a banquet at the downtown Hyatt and continued on throughout the year. In preparing the guest list for our anniversary banquet, we realized that many of our friends were also in long-term relationships. This information could not be ignored and we decided we needed to add to our celebration: it was not to be just a celebration of our relationship, but a celebration of couples in long-term relationships. We asked the guests at each table to determine which couple had been in a relationship the longest. These couples were introduced, recognized, and given the centerpiece from their table, a pink bouquet of roses.

Inspired, we decided to take our 25th anniversary celebration to the streets and began plans to participate in the Pride Parade last June; again, we wanted to take pride not only in our relationship, but in the relationships of all couples. We settled on a pride theme of "Brides with their bridesmaids; Taking pride and joy in long-term relationships."

Daniel and I wore beautiful wedding gowns and rode in the parade in a convertible; it was a thrill. The rest of our friends wore bridesmaid gowns or tuxes; some carried signs indicating the number of years they had been in a relationship. It was heartwarming to be so happily received; the crowds loved us. Daniel and I realized that the cheers were not so much for us, as for all couples. We were so happy to have provided this opportunity to speak out for same-sex couples in long-term relationships.

Once again, we were inspired to keep going. Although we’d thought our celebration would end with the Pride Parade, because of the overwhelming interest, we’ve been led to start an organization to carry on the celebration of long-term relationships. During the last few months, we have been meeting twice a month to discuss the value of speaking out on same-sex couples in long-term relationships.

Our small group believes that we need to get the word out about the many gay couples in long-term relationships; we’ll be in the parade again this year, and are discussing future activities and even political involvement. We invite all couples to join us, male and female, both newlyweds like Dave and Michael, as well as couples like David Leatham and Ed Bradshaw, who are celebrating their 25th anniversary this year.

We welcome your participation in the formation of this organization and/or your participation with us in the Pride Parade on June 23. For more information please contact Ed Bradshaw at 713/861-1104, e-mail Jebshaw@aol.com or myself, Thomas Chelena, at 713/522-7626 or kdlang@aol.com.