LeftOut
by Daryl Moore

MAKE NO MISTAKE

Dubya reveals he is often in error, but never in doubt

Imagine you’re in a job interview and your interviewer asks you the following question: “Identify a mistake you’ve made, and tell me what you’ve learned from it.” Unless you’re an idiot, or you’ve never made a mistake, this question is a softball. It’s an opportunity to demonstrate that you’re humble enough to recognize you’re not God and that you’re smart enough to learn from your mistakes.

If someone asked me that question about a mistake I’ve made in the past three years, I could give a number of examples:

• I rushed to judgment too quickly.
• I was biased. I didn’t listen for the truth because it wasn’t playing out with my preconceived idea of what I thought the truth was going to be.
• I went farther than I should have because I thought I had something to prove.

There’s nothing specific about any of these. They would work for almost anyone—just general conclusions that we’ve messed up at one time or another. All have a hint of humility.

Then why couldn’t Dubya identify one mistake he has made in the past three years when he was asked to do so at his recent press conference? Specifically, Dubya was asked by a reporter:

“Mr. President. In the last campaign, you were asked a question about the biggest mistake you’d made in your life, and you used to like to joke that it was trading Sammy Sosa. You’ve looked back before 9/11 for what mistakes might have been made. After 9/11, what would your biggest mistake be, would you say, and what lessons have you learned from it?”

When thrown this softball, the man who once owned the Texas Rangers struck out. He was dumbfounded. He rambled. He reached. But he couldn’t come up with an answer. So he said:

“I wish you would have given me this written question ahead of time, so I could plan for it. [Laughter] John, I’m sure historians will look back and say, ‘Gosh, he could have done it better this way or that way.’ You know, I just—I’m sure something will pop into my head here in the midst of this press conference, with all the pressure of trying to come up with an answer, but it hasn’t yet.

“I would have gone into Afghanistan the way we went into Afghanistan. [We assume he meant to say Iraq, but that would imply he made a mistake.] Even knowing what I know today about the stockpiles of weapons, I still would have called upon the world to deal with Saddam Hussein. See, I happen to believe that we’ll find out the truth on the weapons. That’s why we’ve sent up the independent commission. I look forward to hearing the truth, exactly where they are. They could still be there. They could be hidden, like the 50 tons of mustard gas in a turkey farm. . . . I hope I—I don’t want to sound like I’ve made no mistakes. I’m confident I have. I just haven’t—you just put me under the spot here, and maybe I’m not as quick on my feet as I should be in coming up with one.”

Let’s deconstruct Dubya’s answer to reflect what he was really thinking:

“I wish you would have given me this written question ahead of time, so I could have gotten Condi to help me with it. You know, I just—I’m sure something will pop into my head here in the midst of this press conference, like Dick Cheney’s hand usually does when he runs it up my ass and moves my lips with it. But I’m out here all alone with no one to tell me what to think or say. Boy, this is really scary. I want Karen Hughes.

“And why would I change anything about Afghanistan? I mean, we knew there weren’t stockpiles of weapons when I decided to go to war. That’s just what we told the public. By the time the American people find out the truth about the weapons, the war will be over with, and I will already have been reelected. And that’s all that counts.

“I don’t want to sound like I’ve made no mistakes, even though I haven’t. I mean, I know I’m supposed to sound humble, but I just can’t. I’m not as quick on my feet as I should be in coming up with an answer. And how can I have made any mistakes when I haven’t made any decisions? All I’ve done is what Cheney and Rumsfeld and Wolfowitz told me to do. Ask one of them. I’m going back to Crawford for another vacation, and I’m never doing another press conference alone again. Ever.”

Writing from the liberal side, Houston attorney Daryl Moore has a general practice and is board certified in civil appellate law.

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