CALENDAR MAY 2002

Weekly (Tue., Wed., Thu.)

HIV Testing. The Montrose Clinic offers free confidential HIV testing every Tuesday at The Club Houston (2205 Fannin), 8 pm—midnight; every Wednesday at Mary's (1022 Westheimer), 4—8 pm, and at the Houston Lesbian & Gay Community Center (803 Hawthorne), 6—9 pm; and every Thursday at Toyz Disco (5322 Glenmont), 10 pm—1 am. Call 713/830-3070 for other testing locations. LIVE IN OR NEAR CONROE?: Free & confidential HIV/AIDS testing is also available from 2—5 pm on the 8th & 22nd in Conroe at Northwoods AIDS Coalition, 1414 South Frazier, Ste. 106. More info: 936/441-1614.

4 (Sat.)

Burlesque Is Back! And it’s better than ever! Fanny Lafaye’s Blue Burlesque has live music, dancing girls, comedy, & striptease artists, including Houston’s Kelly Lauren. $10 cover. 21 & over only. Music starts at 9:30 pm, show at 10 @ the Rhythm Room, 1815 Washington.

4 & 18 (Sat.)

Houston Women’s Soccer Association (HWSA). On the 4th: HWSA is sponsoring a soccer skills clinic for women. All levels welcome. 9:30—11:30 am @ Alief Soccer Complex in George Bush Park. $5 per person, refreshments & balls provided. Map/info online at www.hwsa.org/clinics.htm. On the 18th: Quickfoot 6v6 soccer tourney for all ages at Bear Creek Park. Registration details: www.quickfoot.com. Deadline to register is May 8.

10 (Fri.)

ComedySportz, an improvisational comedy show, is geared up for Mother’s Day. They are honoring all mothers by hosting a special comedy show with free admission for all moms. 8 pm @ Lambert Hall, 1703 Heights Blvd. at 17th St. Admission is $10 (for all those who are not mothers). For more info/reservations: 713/868-1444.

10 & 11 (Fri. & Sat.)

A Springtime Rejuvenating Gift Experience. Take advantage of an opportunity to look and feel your best for the Spring! Longevity Centre of Houston is providing a gift that can make you, your friends, and family feel refreshed and revitalized! Join them and receive your complimentary Glycolic Peel (valued at $60) and receive your introductory sample of ProCyte's Neova Anti-Aging therapy treatments as featured on The Today Show and in Allure magazine. Their physicians will be available to answer any questions concerning the Botox Wrinkle Cure, Photo-Facial Rejuvenation, and Permanent Hair Reduction. Friday, 9:30 am—3 pm, and Saturday, 9:30 am—1 pm, @ Longevity Centre of Houston, 4126 Southwest Frwy, Ste. 1620. Set an appointment for your complimentary Glycolic Peel at 713/522-4037. More info: www.Spa-Medical.com.

11 (Sat.)

Laurie Anderson. Recording star, musician, filmmaker, composer, visual artist, poet, technofile ... performer extraordinaire. This new solo piece co-commissioned by Society for the Performing Arts from the wildly inventive mind of Laurie Anderson tackles such topics as techno-burnout, synthetic language, animal communications, & love songs. 8 pm @ Wortham Center’s Cullen Theater. Tickets ($10—$35) available at all Ticketmaster locations or online at www.spa houston.org; charge by phone at 713/629-3700.

11 (Sat.)

Body, Mind & Soul Bookstore celebrates Mother’s Day with a musical performance by The Cry; a special Mother’s Day discount of 15% on select gift lines such as Votivo, Lisa Lisa, Jan Barboglio, Lampe Berger, & Bella Notte, to name a few; and artist John Palmer showing his latest series "Interaction 3." All of this takes place from 3—5:30 pm @ Body, Mind & Soul Bookstore, 4344 Westheimer at Mid Lane. The Cry will perform at 3:30ish. Admission: a smile. Info: www.bmshouston.com or 713/993-0550. Also: on Sunday, May 12 & 26, there will be a Psychic Fair from 1—5 pm with five readers ($15 for 15 minutes).

11 & 12 (Sat. & Sun.)

Kiki Neumann is a local artist/woodcrafter and entrepreneur of Mother’s Old Fencepost. Her items include an assortment of garden treasures: handcrafted birdhouses, garden benches, & potting stands. Mother’s Old Fencepost was founded by Neumann when she was between jobs and asking herself, "What the heck do I do now?" Her mother offered her scraps of wood from her beautifully aged Victorian fence and wisely encouraged her daughter to "do something creative with it, honey." So began her thriving business of garden creations inspired by her "Mother." For the past five years, Neumann has been reclaiming castoffs from the streets of Houston turning them into one-of-a-kind, useful garden items. This sounds like a wonderful solution to the gift-giving question for Mother’s Day. Neumann & her garden treasures will be @ Inside/Outside in the Heights (18th at Nicholson, 713/869-6911) on the day before Mother’s Day (if you’re planning ahead) and on Mother’s Day (for last-minute shoppers). Info: 281/289-2893 or www.mothersoldfencepost.com.

11 & 12 (Sat. & Sun.)

Sunset Blvd. Norma Desmond (Gloria Swanson), an aging silent-film star unable to accept that fame has ended for her, hires a down-on-his-luck screenwriter (William Holden) to help engineer her comeback. Swanson’s tour-de-force performance drives this legendary 1950 film, which features German filmmaker Erich von Stroheim in the role of the actress’s butler. Swanson was nominated for an Academy Award, but lost to Judy Holliday for Born Yesterday (Bette Davis was also nominated for All About Eve). 7 pm @ Museum of Fine Arts, Houston (Brown Auditorium), 1001 Bissonnet. $5 ($4 members/seniors/students). More info: 713/639-7515 or www.mfah.org.

11 & 12 (Sat. & Sun.)

Salt Grass Potters Association is hosting its annual spring sale of original hand-thrown & hand-built pottery. Local artists display their handmade pottery–functional tableware, decorative sculpture, magical fountains, & colorful tiles. Each artist/potter will be on hand to answer questions about their work or the various pottery processes. 6—9 pm on Saturday, 10 am—5 pm on Sunday, @ the Clear Lake Park Meeting Room, 5002 Nasa Road One. More info: www.saltgrasspotters.org or 281/331-7918, 281/337-6090, or 281/332-4490.

14 (Sat.)

Barbara Cook. If you’re gonna be in New York today, and if you happen to have an extra $200 burning a hole in your wallet ... or clutch, you gotta see singer Barbara Cook receive the New Dramatists 2002 Lifetime Achievement Award. The New Dramatists, the nation’s oldest nonprofit workshop dedicated to the development of new playwrights, salutes an individual who has made an outstanding artistic contribution to the American theater. This year, they honor Cook at their 53rd annual spring luncheon tribute. Hal Prince will present the award. 11:15 am—2:30 pm @ the New York Marriott Marquis, Broadway Ballroom, 1535 Broadway. For tickets, call 212/757-6960.

16 & 17 (Thu. & Fri.)

American Horizons: A New Music Festival. Conducted by John Axelrod, featuring John Adams’s "Foxtrot for Orchestra" from his opera Nixon in China; Michael Daugherty’s sonic symphony Metropolis; and world-premiere works. 8 pm @ Aerial Theater, 520 Texas Ave. Info: OrchestraX at 713/225-6729.

16—18 (Thu.—Sat.)

The Swan Tool. Described by Time Out as "a hero to many and enigma to many more," Portland-based Miranda July colloborates with sound artist Zac Love on The Swan Tool, her latest multimedia performance, that combines video, performance, music, & helium to tell the story of a woman working in an insurance company. Lisa (played by July) cannot decide whether to live or die. Rather than choose, she digs a hole in her back yard and buries herself. Following the self-burial, she attempts to continue living & working, but the thing in the hole will not die, and she is unable to forget about it. 8 pm @ DiverseWorks, 1117 East Freeway. 24-hour reservation line: 713/335-3445. Info: 713/223-8346 or www.diverseworks.org. Tickets $20 ($15 members/students). Reservations strongly recommended.

17 & 19 (Fri. & Sun.)

Georgie Holbrook, intuitive healer & author, presents two workshops. • 1) Disease Doesn’t Just Happen: Learn a healthier way to live. Emotional pain often manifest as physical pain as we "stuff" our pent-up experiences that eventually get our attention through our many diagnoses. Learn to re-claim your health & happiness. 7—9 pm. $25. • 2) Issues in My Tissues: Drumming & play are a way to release & free your body. Learn easy-to-use sound & movement to encourage "healing the issues in your tissues." 1—5 pm. $55. • Each workshop is limited to 20 people and takes place at Lucia’s Garden, 2216 Portsmouth, 713/523-6494. More info: www.joy-full.com.

18 (Sat.)

American Musical Theatre Awards. The first American Musical Theatre Awards, established and produced by Theatre Under The Stars (TUTS), will be the entertainment highlight of TUTS’ first event in the new Hobby Center for the Performing Arts when Morgan Stanley presents TUTS’ 2002 Inaugural Evening. Tony Award-winning composer/lyricist Jerry Herman (click here for an interview with Herman) will be honored at this year’s ceremony. Herman’s career has included the creation of such hit shows as Mame, Hello, Dolly!, and La Cage Aux Folles. In addition to the awards ceremony, the evening will feature fine food and a 240-page, lavishly illustrated pictorial history of TUTS highlighting over 200 Houston productions. For more info: 713/558-2600.

18 (Sat.)

Houston Women’s Soccer Association is sponsoring a soccer skills clinic for women. All levels welcome. 9:30—11:30 am @ Alief Soccer Complex in George Bush Park. $5 per person, refreshments & balls provided. Map/info: www.hwsa.org/clinics.htm.

18 (Sat.)

Babes in Boots Dance Party for women and friends. Come dance with hundreds of your newest and most intimate friends @ the Engine Room, one of Houston’s premier music venues, 1515 Pease, downtown be-tween LaBranch and Crawford. Tickets are $15. For more info: www.hwfestival.org/dance.htm.

18 (Sat.)

Anoushka Shankar. Spiritual, spellbinding, & beautiful. Sheer Eastern delight. At only 20 years old, Anoushka Shankar is the only sitarist on the planet trained entirely by her father, the legendary Ravi Shankar, who single-handedly popularized classical Indian music around the globe. Presented by the Society for the Performing Arts at 8 pm @ Wortham Center’s Cullen Theater. Tickets ($10—$35) available at all Ticketmaster locations or online at www.spa houston.org; charge by phone at 713/629-3700.

19 (Sun.)

Peter Pan. The whimsical tale of the boy who refuses to grow up is played by a girl. Betty Bronson plays Peter Pan in this version, a silent masterpiece (with live musical accompaniment) that has been restored using original nitrate materials & pristine tintings. 2 pm @ the Museum of Fine Arts (Brown Auditorium). Free with museum admission. For more info: 713/639-7515 or www.mfah.org.

22 (Wed.)

Jason Stuart Beds Damon Wayans? Actor Jason Stuart’s guest-starring appearances on My Wife and Kids in January and April were such a hit that he is set for a double episode in May. The ABC show stars Damon Wayans and Tisha Campbell-Martin, who play husband and wife, Michael and Janet Kyle. Openly gay Stuart plays openly gay Dr. Steven Michael Thomas, a psychiatrist who solves the problems of the straight couple. Watch as Dr. Thomas gets into bed with Michael so he can help him with a psychosomatic back injury. • Also, Stuart recently optioned the book Wisecracker, a biography about the first openly gay silent film star William Haines and his lover, and their best friend Joan Crawford. Watch for Stuart to co-produce and play a role in the film.

24—26 (Fri.—Sun.)

Hooray for Hollywood is a special tribute to film composer John Williams, featuring music from Star Wars, E.T., Superman, Schindler’s List, & Raiders of the Lost Ark, plus favorite music from all-time favorite movies including Gone with the Wind, Ben Hur, Bridge on the River Kwai, Forrest Gump, and Titanic. Friday & Saturday at 8 pm, Sunday at 7:30 pm @ Jones Hall, 615 Louisiana. Tickets ($23—$77) are available at all Ticketmaster outlets; by calling 713/224-7575; or online at www.houstonsymphony.com.

26 (Sun.)

Family to Family Adoptions, a nonprofit licensed agency, is offering a free adoption seminar discussing how to adopt a child in less than one year. They currently have programs in the U.S., China, Guatemala, Russia, Vietnam, & other countries. They work with single men, single women, & couples 25 to 65 years of age. A free informational is included. 1—4 pm @ Clear Lake Hospital, 500 Medical Center Blvd., Webster, TX. For more info: 281/342-4042; e-mail info@fam2fam.org or Fam2Fam@aol.com; website www.fam2fam.org.

29 (Wed.)

Hormonally Imbalanced? Daytime fatigue, mood swings, decreased sexual desire, insomnia, & hot flashes are all symptoms related to hormone imbalance. As we age, our youthful hormone levels decline along with our heath. Find out how you can take control and even reverse these age-related symptoms. What will be discussed: the natural replacement protocols for estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, human growth hormone, melatonin, & others. Questions are welcome. 6 pm @ Twelve Oaks Hospital (formerly Bayou City Hospital), 4200 Portsmouth. Seating is limited. RSVP at 713-522-4037. For more info: www.LongevityHouston.com.

31 (Fri.)

Mercury Baroque Ensemble and the Evolution of Orchestra. Ever wonder about the origin of the orchestra? The grand finale concert of the Mercury Baroque Ensemble 2001-2002 season will feature a selection of pieces that illustrate how dance & vocal music evolved into the symphony. Artistic director & conductor Antoine Plante will lead the baroque orchestra in a full range of passionate baroque expression. The program opens with Vivaldi's virtuosic concerto The Cuckoo, performed by baroque violinist Jonathan Godfrey, followed by a Concerto Grosso by Handel, a Dance Suite by Telemann to close with a dynamic Symphony for Strings by C.P.E. Bach. Share the baroque composers' excitement at discovering the expanded possibilities of the orchestra. As usual, fun historical info will be part of the intimate evening. 8 pm @ the Lowe Theater of St. John School, 2700 Buffalo Speedway. Tickets/more info: 713/498-4853, Mercury@Houston.rr.com, or www.MercuryBaroqueEnsemble.org.

PLANNING AHEAD FOR JUNE & BEYOND

June 1 (Sat.)

Misty Valdez’s Galveston Benefit Show. All proceeds from this show, the pre-benefit show of April 6, and the garage sale of April 13 will go to support the work of AIDS Coalition of Coastal Texas (ACCT). Misty Valdez, a.k.a. Roland "Rolly" Suniga, is the island diva extraordinaire. Her annual benefit has raised over $40,000 through the years. In 2000, the mayor of Galveston issued a proclamation declaring the day of the benefit as Misty Valdez Day, yet Misty shies away from glory in her local fame. "The people who work at the AIDS Coalition are really the ones who deserve a pat on the back, because they are the ones that have to deal with it every day," says Misty. "I just do it once a year." This is her 15th anniversary benefit show @ Garza’s Kon Tiki, 315 Tremont at 23rd, Galveston.

June 2 (Sun.)

The Tonys. The first hour of the American Theatre Wing’s 56th Annual Antoinette Perry "Tony" Awards airs on PBS (7—8 pm). "The First Ten Awards: Tonys 2002" will feature the award presentations to the creative artists behind this season’s biggest hits. Categories include Direction of a Play, Direction of a Musical, Book of a Musical, Original Score, Choreography, & Costume Design awards. In addition, there will be interviews with the nominees, as well as rehearsal & performance footage from the nominated shows. Immediately following PBS, CBS continues the broadcast with The 2002 Tony Awards (8—10 pm). Awards to the actors, productions, & playwrights, as well as live performances from nominated shows will be included. Need more Tony info? Go to www.Tonys.org.

June 5 (Wed.)

Protecting Adolescents from HIV Infection. The Bering Omega Care Center is a licensed adult day-care facility operated by Bering Omega Community Services for people with HIV disease. This past February, they began offering "First Wednesdays," a lecture series on HIV-related topics for social services & nursing professionals. Tonight’s topic is "Protecting Adolescents from HIV Infection." Lectures are free of charge, and certificates of attendance are available for obtaining continuing education units. Speakers are Michael Eckenfels, RN, LSMW, and Andrew McPhaul, LPC. A complimentary light supper will be served. Although there is no fee for participation, space is limited and reservations are required. Social services & nursing professionals: 713/520-7070, ext. 141, for reservations. The next topic, "HIV Services for Houston Parolees," will be covered on July 3.

June 6—9 (Thu.—Sun.)

Folk Fest. San Antonio’s 31st Annual Texas Folklife Festival is four days of food, music, crafts, stories, & cultural tradition that makes Texas, well, Texas. Tickets are $6 in advance, $8 at the gate for 13 & over; $2 for children 6—12; & free for those under 6. Thurs. & Fri., 5—11 pm; Sat., noon—11 pm; Sun., noon—9 pm, @ the Institute of Texan Cultures, downtown San Antonio. For more info or to order advance tickets: write Texas Folklife Festival, 801 S. Bowie St., San Antonio, TX 78205-3296; call 210/458-2390; or visit www.texancultures.utsa.edu.

June 8 & 9 (Sat. & Sun.)

Celebration! Political upheaval, civil rights, Stonewall, and the liberation of the human spirit–from Motown to Mama Cass, the Gay Men’s Chorus of Houston celebrates the ’60s with the tunes you love to sing. Take a groovy trip back to decade of peace & love at 8 pm on Saturday, 3 pm on Sunday, @ Heinen Theater, 3517 Austin at Holman, on the Houston Community College central campus in Midtown. Tickets are available online at www.gmch.org/tickets or through Box Office Tickets at 800/494-8497 or TDD 888/833-8497.

June 28 (Fri.)

Hispanic Black Tie Soiree. A Baile Steering Group has formed to bring back the popular Hispanic black tie soiree & dance held during Houston’s Lesbian & Gay Pride Week. This year’s theme, "Baile Internacional 2002," embraces the different cultures, nationalities, & ethnicities in our diverse community. Performing will be Tejano Music Awards nominee, Grupo Stampede. Tickets go on sale Sat., May 4. Monies raised at the dance will benefit lesbian & gay community groups. 9 pm @ the Ripley House Ballroom, 4410 Navigation. Tickets/info: Linda Morales at 713/522-9564.

August 3—11 (Sat.—Sun.)

National Association of Black and White Men Together (NABWMT) is holding its 22nd annual convention in Miami. A plenary session will be addressed by Louie Crew, associate professor of English at Rutgers University. A second plenary session will feature an address by Dr. James T. Sears, an independent scholar who has authored or edited 13 books, including Rebels, Rubyfruit, and Rhinestones. A variety of workshops is scheduled: gay estate planning, sexuality and sex, homosexuality behind bars, reapportionment and black America, and the media & the African-American electorate during the Florida 2000 election (at press time, more workshops were being scheduled). Also on the agenda: a "No Talent/Talent Show," a more somber & poignant memorial service, and a one-day Multi-racial/Multi-cultural
Institute at the convention in Miami Beach, Florida,
@ the Shelborne Beach Resort. Registration/inquiries: 305/545-6105; fax 305/545-0508; e-mail alwakefield@aol.com or nabwmt@mindspring.com.

October 17—21 (Thu.—Mon.)

Texas Lesbian Conference (TLC) honors its 15th anniversary with its first-ever conference at sea. Attendees will board the Carninval ship "Celebration" in Galveston & cruise to Cozumel, Mexico, for 4 days of fun, entertainment, & conference activities. The conference theme, "What Lesbians Really Want," will examine the changing needs of lesbians in Texas and how TLC can continue to serve its community. Speakers & workshops will be offered on-board ship. Michele Balan, known as "da Comic Princess," will entertain. All-inclusive tickets (cruise & meals on board, entertainment, port taxes, & conference fees) begin at $439 per person (double occupancy). Reservations: Stan the Cruise Man, toll free, at 1-866-200-2086 or e-mail Stan@ CruisingWithPride.com. For more info on the conference: www.texaslesbianconference.org.

October 17—21 (Thu.—Mon.)

Bisexual/Men’s Awareness Institute Conference.This three-day weekend in San Diego’s Mission Valley is hosted by the American Institute of Bisexuality (AIB), an organization founded 10 years ago to educate the public about the subject of bisexuality. The AIB created this conference in 2000 expressly to allow bisexual and bi curious men to gather in a safe, supportive environment to dialogue on their issues of concern, including their feelings of invisibility & the societal pressures to remain closeted. This 3rd annual conference will offer approximately 12 workshops (covering themes including coming out, relationships, culture, spirituality, identity, health, & more) & numerous social events. There will be a Friday night no-host welcome reception, a Saturday evening banquet with live entertainment, as well as time to explore San Diego. Registration fees: $40—$120 depending upon the activities selected & whether registration has been completed by the Sept. 27 early-bird deadline. Southwest Airlines is offering a special discount for conference attendees. More info: www.bisexual.org/pages/newconf/sdsandiego/. Workshop info: Alexei Guren at 206/709-8676 or Alexei_Guren@msn.com. Inquiries about AIB: Dr. Fritz Klein at 619/542-0088 or FritzKlein@aol.com.

October 24—26 (Thu.—Sat.)

LGBT Medical Conference. Gay and Lesbian Medical Association (GLMA) is holding its 20th annual conference in Toronto. The conference is designed for physicians & other healthcare professionals and provides both Continuing Medical Education (CME) credits and Continuing Education Units (CEU) to attendees through dozens of workshops & seminars that relate to LGBT health. The 3-day program will focus on primary care & biopsychosocial issues, as well as policy & advocacy. The conference will take place at the Fairmont’s Royal York Hotel in Toronto, Canada. More info & early-bird registration discounts are available at the GLMA website: www.glma.org.

November 2—9 (Sat.—Sat.)

2002 Sydney Gay Games. The Houston Montrose Athletic Association with Mark Hoyer of American Express Travel will be the resource contact for the Houston contingent that will be going to the games. Hoyer has worked out a travel package that includes discounted hotel & flight rates. Visit the 2002 Sydney Gay Games website at www.sydney2002.org.au for more info about the events & registration. For reservations, call Mark at 713/365-6266 (reservation cost $210).

PERFORMING ARTS

•• Blade to the Heat is a searing exploration of gay love in the world of 1950s boxing. • A relative newcomer to the boxing scene, the Mexican-American Pedro Quinn wins a surprise decision against Mantequilla Decima, a Cuban and the undisputed middleweight champion. The unlikely loss and Quinn’s uncertain happiness over his victory against his own long-time hero unsettles the former champ. Decima cannot fathom his loss and tries desperately to find some answers. • Another boxer, Wilfred Vinal, throws poison into the brew by calling Decima a "maricon," the "queer" epithet in Spanish, then leveling the same charge against Quinn. Decima tries to find solace in the arms of his girlfriend, but her responses only add to his growing doubts about himself. Vinal realizes he has found a weak link in Decima’s chain, and he rattles that chain to his advantage. • Quinn is no less disturbed because he is discovering that his friendship with Garnet maintains a special hold on him. • The action comes to a bloody confrontation in the ring. • Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays, May 2—June 8 @ Unhinged Productions, 3304 LaBranch. Tickets $15 ($12 seniors). Reservations/more info: 713/524-8707.

•• Book of Days by Lanford Wilson. When murder roars through a small Missouri town, Ruth Hoch (who has just been cast as Joan of Arc in a local community theatre production of Shaw’s St. Joan) begins her quest to find the truth & honesty amid small-town jealousies, religion, greed, & lies. Through May 11 @ the Ensemble Theatre, 3535 Main St. For more info/ticket prices, contact Chris Wilson’s Actors Theatre of Houston’s box office at 713/529-6606.

•• Come Up and Slay Me Sometime and Marriage Can Be Murder are presented by Mystery Café, home of Comedy Murder Mystery Dinner Theater. • In their new original production Come Up and Slay Me Sometime, the troupe runs roughshod over Texas history of the 1920s, as a national radio broadcast takes place at a floating speakeasy. In attendance: flappers, gangsters, historical figures, Mae West, & Abraham Lincoln. With a combination like that, somebody’s going to wind up dead. • Marriage Can Be Murder takes place at a disastrous wedding ceremony and can serve as either a warning to lovebirds or a soothing balm to those who have already posted banns, as they can say, "Well, at least our wedding wasn’t that bad!" • Come Up and Slay Me runs Saturday nights at 8 pm in repertory with Marriage Can Be Murder, which runs Friday nights at 8 pm. Both shows are presented at the Prima Pasta Restaurant, 2710 Richmond Ave. Info: 713/944-2583 or www.mysterycafehouston.com.

•• Communicating Doors. A leather-clad dominatrix is summoned to a posh hotel suite to provide one final good time to an ailing billionaire who, as she soon discovers, has a fondness for killing his wives. Finding herself caught in a web of intrigue that spans 40 years, she tries to escape into the neighboring suite through a communicating door–and steps out into the same hotel suite, 20 years earlier. Here she meets wife number 2 on what was to have been the eve of her murder, and hilarity ensues as the women travel back & forth through time in a race to save wife number 1 and prevent their own violent ends. Through May 19 @ Stages Repertory Theatre, 3201 Allen Parkway. Tickets ($32—$42) are available at the Stages box office or by calling 713/527-0123 or at www.stagestheatre.com.

•• Contact. The Tony Award-winning Best Musical, directed and choreographed by Susan Stroman, took New York by storm, winning every major award including the Tony, Drama Desk, Outer Critics Circle, and Drama League awards for Best Musical. Three sensual stories told entirely through dance about people in the wild pursuit of love, Contact is performed to a wide range of music–from Rodgers and Hart’s "My Heart Stood Still" to pieces by Grieg, Tchaikovsky, and Binet to Robert Palmer, Dean Martin, the Beach Boys, and the Squirrel Nut Slippers by a cast of 24 dancers/actors who captivate and seduce the audience.• If Contact was Broadway’s prize package in the 2000 season, the gift inside was The Girl in the Yellow Dress as performed by Deborah Yates, a leggy, blonde dance treasure from Jacksonville, Texas. A Tony nominee as Best Actress in a Featured Role, she is joining the Contact cast for this Houston appearance, reprising the commanding dance role that defined the musical. • May 28—June 2 @ Jones Hall, 615 Louisiana. Tickets ($33—$59) can be purchased by calling 713/629-3700 or by visiting www.ticketmaster.com. For more info: www.BroadwayAcrossAmerica.com.

•• Dirty Little Showtunes—Encore, conceived and written by Tom Orr, is part two of the original Dirty Little Showtunes that was produced by Theatre New West early last year, which was a hit with critics and audiences alike and was held over. It follows the format of Forbidden Broadway, a satirical revue in its 20th year in New York, which uses new lyrics to Broadway showtunes to spoof the industry. Dirty Little Showtunes—Encore does the same thing, only with a gay male context. It has had very successful productions in Seattle, Chicago, and San Francisco. Dirty Little Showtunes—Encore, like the original, is directed by Joe Watts. Tickets are $20. May 3—June 28 (Fridays and Saturdays only, 8 p.m.) @ Theatre New West, 1415 California, one block north of Westheimer, between Commonwealth and Waugh Drive, on the ground floor of the Sonoma Restaurant building. NOTE: There will be a special benefit performance on Thursday, May 2, for the Montrose Counseling Center; there will be no performances May 24 and 25; and the performance on Friday, June 28, is an official event of Gay & Lesbian Pride Week. Reservations: 713/394-0464. For more info: 713/522-2204.

•• The Diviners is the story of a young boy (with a "gift") and a stranger in a small town during the depression. Through May 11 @ Theatre Suburbia, 1410 W. 43rd. Tickets $10 (students/seniors $9; matinees $8). Info: 713/682-3525 or www.theatresuburbia.com.

•• Dos chicos is proud to bring you an evening of questionable theater comprised of four 10-minute plays followed by one one-act–black comedies all! • First up is Man-Date by Bob Morgan (also the director of these plays): Jess’s video Barbie dream date turns out to be a drunken, homeless, dumpster-living gentleman, but what the hell–Jess takes him home anyway! • The second piece of weirdness is Variations on the Resurrection of Lazarus by Kyle Mercer: Do you think Lazarus ever wondered just what exactly was going on when he arose from his grave? He and Jacob debate the issue over an ever-varying game of backgammon. • The third 10-minute play is Shooting Gallery by Israel Horovitz: "Honey, we’re not leaving the carnival until I kill that mechanical bear and win you that god---- goldfish, even if we have to spend the rest of our lives here!" • Number four is yet another piece of weirdness by Kyle Mercer, The Mayberry Blues: Sheriff Andy Taylor and the rest of the gang in Mayberry know what to do with folks who just don’t fit in right. Think Shirley Jackson’s The Lottery, and you’re on the right track! • Last but not least is the one-act play Line by Israel Horovitz: This allegory evokes humor, misery, apprehension, & vulnerability of the human condition. The setting is nothing more than five people waiting in line for some unspecified event. As the struggle for first place begins, they lie, cheat, & steal to gain the all-important first place, only to realize in the end that there really is no first place. s is off-Broadway’s longest-running play and is currently in its 28th year. • These plays are not suitable for children. Tickets $10 ($6 students/seniors). 8 p.m., May 10—June 1 @ Upstairs at The Helios (indoor stage), 411 Westheimer, 713/201-0193.

•• Forever Hold Your Peace! Join the festivities as the tiny town of Dumpster, Texas, throws a wedding in this original Fertle Family comedy. Thursdays & Fridays at 8:30 pm, Saturdays at 8 & 10:30 pm, through May 12 @ Radio Music Theatre, 2623 Colquitt. Desserts, munchies, champagnes, wines, beers, cappuccino, & soft drinks are available for purchase throughout the show. Admission is $16, reservations are required, & tickets must be purchased in advance at the theater or by calling the box office at 713/522-7722.

•• House and Garden. Using its two stages, the Alley Theatre offers Alan Ayckbourn’s two-play challenge, House and Garden. Each play is performed separately on one of the two stages by the same daring cast, racing back & forth to make their entrances from one theater to the other. As for the audience, they see only one play at a time. • Up in the House, Teddy has dreams of a bright future as the new local member of Parliament. The only thing barring his path is an urgent need to clean up his private life before the Prime Minister’s special envoy arrives. • Meanwhile, down in the Garden, frenzied preparations are under way for the annual village carnival. Will the young maypole dancers pull it off? Will the French star arrive in time? • Although they were written as companion plays, both plays stand alone–each play can be seen independently, and in any order, but it’s more fun when you see both of the story. • Through May 12 @ the Alley Theatre, 615 Texas Ave. Tickets to House are $35—$50; tickets to Garden are $40—$45. For more info: 713/228-8421 or www.alleytheatre.org.

•• Houston Ballet’s spring repertory program pairs the classic & the cutting edge: a revival of George Balanchine’s romantic masterpiece Serenade, and new work by young Australian dance maker Natalie Weir. Rounding out the program is Lila York’s The Rules of the Games, a romantic romp through the life & loves of a circle of friends assembled at a European country house. 7:30 pm on May 23, 25, 31, & June 1; 2 pm on May 26 & June 2. Tickets are available by calling 713/227-ARTS (2787) or in person at the Wortham Ticket Center in the Wortham Theater Center. For more information: www.houstonballet.org.

•• Houston Grand Opera. World-renowned American mezzo-soprano Denyce Graves returns to Houston to star in Saint-Saëns’ dramatic opera Samson and Delilah, based on the biblical story of strength & seduction. Russian tenor Sergej Larin sings the proud Hebrew slave Samson whose herculean strength attracts Delilah, a Philistine woman whose immoral nation holds Samson’s people in captivity. Through May 12 @ Wortham Center’s Brown Theater, Texas at Smith. Tickets ($18—$225) are available by phone at 713/227-ARTS (2787), in person at Wortham Ticket Center in the lobby of the Wortham Theater Center, or on the website at www. houstongrandopera.org.

•• Light Up the Sky. The leading actress, producer, director, & others involved with an experimental new play are in a feverish state of joyful anticipation of the expected great success of their new show. When opening night seems like a flop, despair & savage recriminations are exchanged. Will the troupe be transformed yet again when the reviews come in? Moss Hart presents us with a scathing, yet affectionate, portrait of the zany & mercurial personalities involved with theater. Tickets $12 (students/seniors $10). May 24—June 29, Fridays & Saturdays at 8 pm @ The Company Onstage, 536 Westbury Square, 713/726-1216.

•• On Approval. A wealthy widow invites a man who has adored her for years to join her in remote Scotland for one month to see if they are compatible for marriage. The "experiment" proves to be a success, although not exactly in the way she had intended. A bright comedy of manners in the style of Noël Coward. May 9—June 9 @ Main Street Theater in Rice Village, 2540 Times Blvd. Tickets are $20—$30. More info: 713/524-6706 or www.mainstreettheater.com.

•• Unidentified Human Remains and the True Nature of Love. Eight years and 60 productions later, the definitive Theater LaB Houston (TLH) play marks its return with a new production of the play that launched TLH in 1993. A contemporary drama set in Edmonton, Alberta, it centers on a group of young people whose lives intersect and bleed into one another as they search for meaningful relationships while a serial killer terrorizes the city at night. Time magazine named it one of the 10 best plays of 1991. Its initial run played to sold-out houses and received critical reviews setting high marks for things to come. Adults only. Fridays & Saturdays, May 15—June 15 at 8 pm; Sundays, June 2 & 9 at 7 pm, @ Theater LaB Houston, 1706 Alamo (off 2100 Houston Ave). More info: 713/868-7516 or www.theaterlabhouston.com.

•• We Have Some Planes. It’s the end of the world as we know it. A woman goes to work one morning and finds herself thrown into a twilight zone parallel universe where everything and everyone move according to some twisted Kafkaesque preordained series of events. Talking birdcages, wooden soldiers, wind-up people, clapping monkeys, evil clowns, karaoke musical numbers, rubber babies, a bomb squad, a woman in a wedding gown, a man with a metal detector, Adam Ant, Winona Ryder, Dr. Kiss Kiss, acts of intimacy and betrayal, and a flood–just some of the elements encountered in this 75-minute non-narrative interdisciplinary dance-theater piece. In the end, our heroine finds her life inexplicably changed forever ... or perhaps she just rolls over and goes back to sleep. • In keeping with director Brian Jucha’s tradition of using text from found and "real" sources, the text for We Have Some Planes is taken verbatim from the actual conversations between the U.S. Northeast corridor flight controllers and three planes on the morning of September 11, 2001. • Through May 25 @ the Axiom, 2524 McKinney. Tickets $10—$15. Reservations/more info: Infernal Bridegroom Productions at 713/522-8443.

PERFORMING ARTS FOR YOUNG PEOPLE

•• Bunnicula. When the Monroe family brings home a bunny found in the movie theater after seeing Dracula, Harold the dog & Chester the cat are less than thrilled. When all of the vegetables in the house start turning white, they become even more suspicious. How can Chester convince the family that things are not normal and that Bunnicula is actually a vampire bunny? Children & animals alike will delight in this spirited musical that they can really sink their teeth into. Recommended for 1st—5th grades. Tickets: $9 adults; $7 children/students/seniors. Main Street Theater at Chelsea Market, 4617 Montrose Blvd. For info on family performances (May 4, 11, & 18): 713/524-6706. Info on school bookings (through May 24): 713/524-7998.

•• The House I Call Love. Humor & music figure prominently in the telling of this story, which features 13-year-old Sammy Begonias as the central character. Sammy & her brother Noah live in a modest home with their mother. When a developer convinces the rest of the neighborhood to move out so he can build a mall, only the Begonias stand in his way. As the bulldozers close in and the pressure mounts, Sammy confronts the developer and a host of outlandish characters including a movie action hero and his sidekick. When the dust settles, Sammy & Noah discover that "home" has more to do with the heart than with mere geography. Tickets are $8. Saturdays, 11:30 am & 2 pm, through May 18 @ Stages Repertory Theatre, 3201 Allen Parkway, 713/527-0123.

•• TEXAS! Houston Grand Opera’s (HGO) "Opera to Go!" presents a revival of the children’s opera TEXAS! "Opera to Go!" is HGO’s traveling educational opera company that performs works for children & family audiences in schools, libraries, & community centers. 11 am, Mon., Tue., & Wed., May 20, 21, & 23, @ Miller Outdoor Theatre, 10 Concert Drive in Hermann Park. More info: 713/546-0230.

•• Thief of Sherwood Forest is presented by Mystery Café on Saturdays at 11:30 am @ the Prima Pasta Restaurant, 2710 Richmond Ave. Info: 713/944-CLUE (2583) or www.mysterycafehouston.com.

•• The Vagina Monologues. After a triumphant presentation last year–despite Alison’s flood waters–Austin Theatre Alliance, the parent company for the Paramount and State theaters in Austin, returns to Houston to present The Vagina Monologues starring Houstonian JoBeth Williams. • The Vagina Monologues, by the award-winning playwright Eve Ensler, brazenly explores the humor, power, pain, wisdom, outrage, mystery and excitement through monologues based on interviews with women from Long Island to Bosnia. The Daily News calls The Vagina Monologues "marvelous, one of the best shows in town." • Answering the call of Texas audiences’ appetite for this thought-provoking, world-wide phenomenon, Austin Theatre Alliance not only returns to Houston, but brings to the stage the show-stopping, Houston-born, Hollywood leading lady, JoBeth Williams. Since Williams made her film debut in Kramer vs. Kramer, this mega-talent of stage and screen has performed in over 45 films including: Stir Crazy, Endangered Species, The Big Chill, Switch, Baby M, Wyatt Earp, Jungle 2 Jungle, and Frankie and Hazel. Williams earned an Academy Award nomination for her directorial debut of On Hope for Showtime. • In addition to this good news for theater fans, Austin Theatre Alliance joins the national V-Day, Until the Violence Stops campaign calling for an end to violence against women by donating a portion of the performance proceeds to the Houston Area Women’s Center Crisis Intervention Program. All around the country, a portion of performance proceeds are being directed to local charities benefiting women. To learn more about the hundreds of local and global V-Day events throughout 2002, log on to www.VDAY.org. • The Vagina Monologues was originally produced in an OBIE Award-winning run in 1996. Since then, it has toured the country and internationally, with performances in Jerusalem, Berlin, Athens, as well as a hit run in London. The production opened off-Broadway in New York at the Westside Theatre on October 3, 1999, to great acclaim. • May 21—26 @ Wortham Center’s Cullen Theater, 500 Prairie at Texas. Tickets are available at all Ticketmaster outlets including Foley’s, Fiesta, and Wherehouse Music or by phone at 713/629-3700 or online at www.ticketmaster.com.

•• The Wizard of Oz. We are off to see the wizard, as Dorothy, Toto, & the wonderful friends they find in the Land of Oz are again traveling the yellow brick road. Just be careful of that wicked witch. Tickets $6. Saturdays at 11 am & 1:30 pm, May 11—June 29 @ The Company Onstage, 536 Westbury, 713/726-1216.

RADIO

•• After Hours. Saturdays, midnight to 3 am. Featuring the QMZ (Queer Music Zone) with Jimmy Carper. KPFT 90.1 FM, 713/526-5738.

•• Queer Voices. Mondays, 8-10 pm. Features, news, music, interviews, reviews, and commentary. KPFT 90.1 FM, 713/526-4000.

ART/PHOTOGRAPHY

•• Americanos: Latino Life in the United States presents 120 photographs by 32 of the nation’s top photojournalists, offering an extraordinary view of the breadth and variety of the Latino experience, and encompassing the spectra of national origin, economic status, education, profession, religion, and language. The images are organized into sections that focus on working life, family, spiritual life, community, recreation, and culture & the arts. From celebrities such as Gloria Estefan, designer Oscar de la Renta, and actress Rita Moreno, to a flag seamtress in Houston, the subjects convey a huge chunk of Latino life. May 12—Aug. 4 @ the Museum of Fine Arts, 1001 Bissonnet, 713/639-7300.

•• The Grandeur of Viceregal Mexico: Treasures from the Museo Franz Mayer examines the rich heritage of Mexico through works produced over three centuries from 1521 to 1821. The arts of Mexico as manifested in the collection of the Museo Franz Mayer in Mexico City reveal a fascinating confluence of cultures from Europe, Asia, and Meso-America that gives the Mexican arts their unique qualities. The exhibition includes painting and sculpture, furniture, metals, porcelain, and Talavera earthenware. The pieces once belonged to the noted banker/collector Franz Mayer, who settled in Mexico City in 1905. He became a prominent financier, and about 1920 became a pioneer collector of the arts of Vice Regal Mexico. At his death, he left his collections as a legacy to the people of Mexico. Through Aug. 4 @ the Museum of Fine Arts, 1001 Bissonnet, 713/639-7300.

•• Jack Leigh: The Land I’m Bound To. Jack Leigh seeks out & records the people, environments, & rapidly passing lifestyles of his native region–the American South. The photographs featured in this exhibit are a tribute to this richly diverse culture, including images of solitary oystermen working the fog-shrouded salt marshes of South Carolina to shrimp fisherman at sea to the swamps & marsh flats along Georgia’s Ogeechee River. In 1993, Leigh was commissioned to create a photograph for the book cover of Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, which has become his most recognized image. Through June 2 @ Houston Center for Photography, 1441 W. Alabama, 713/529-4655, www.hcponline.org.

•• KIT’s Autoskinning: Passive Abduction No. 5. KIT is an international collaboration of artists & various other professionals concerned with exploring the theory & practice of interactive art. Declaring neither gender, race, nor identity, one of KIT’s most salient features is the continual changeover of members. Since 1992, KIT core members located in Montreal, Melbourne, and Manchester have recruited scores of architects, writers, programmers, & designers who assemble & disperse depending on the project and use the Internet as the primary source of communication. KIT’s presentation at DiverseWorks, their first in this part of the country, uses this unique formula toward the creation of a site-specific project which forces questions of authorship, by-product, & process in generating collaborative works of art. Using automobile airbags, textiles from crashed cars, sound, & video, Autoskinning examines the ways in which culture negotiates disaster. Through May 18 @ DiverseWorks, 1117 East Freeway, 713/223-8346, www.diverseworks.org.

•• Negative Capability. New York artist Elana Herzog takes obsession to the extreme creating wall works that intrinsically related to the architectural setting in which they are presented. Using thousands of staples, she affixes domestic textiles–bedspreads, dish towels, drapes–to sheetrock by following the geometric & floral patterns found on the fabric. Parts of the fabric are then torn away leaving a residue of shredded fabric and a sutured & scarred wall surface. Through May 18 @ DiverseWorks, 1117 East Freeway, 713/223-8346, www.diverseworks.org.

•• "Photographic Delusions." Vik Muniz challenges common definitions of photography by working with unconventional materials–dirt, chocolate syrup, sugar, wire, thread–to create what he calls "photographic delusions." His images are a lively hybrid of artistic technique, intellectual rigor, great curiosity, & irreverent invention. Through June 2 @ the Menil Collection, 1515 Sul Ross, 713/525-9404.

•• Women in the Visual and Literary Arts (WIVLA) presents an open show through July 1 @ the Omni Hotel on Woodway. Info: www.wivla.org.