NICE DAY FOR A RIGHT-WING WEDDING

We have a theory about the reason the president is so intransigent about same-gender marriage (other than kowtowing to his conservative base, naturally). We suspect that George W. Bush, the leader of the free world, never got the wedding he really desired. On his nuptial day, George wanted to be the pretty one—dressed in the white gown and the veil and toting the bouquet. Instead, like most brides, Laura got all the attention. After years of hetero marriage, we imagine that George is ready to bust the closet and emerge as the glamorous cross-dressing resident of the White House. Once the commander in chief at last gets noticed as the beautiful doll he has dreamed about, we predict that he will relax and finally admit to himself that man-man/woman-woman marriage won’t degrade civilization—as long as the person in the family who wants to wear the dress gets his way. --—Tim Brookover

Photograph by John Conroy

President George W. Bush Talking Action Figure from Toypresidents dressed by costume designer Marybeth Wright

If you have any comments about this article, please email them to letters@outsmartmagazine.com.