Letters

The Right to Absolute Fabulousness
I would just like to say thank you on behalf of all the young gay-lesbian bi- and trans out there for printing such a fantastic and great article.
("School’s Out" by D.L. Murphy, March.)

We the readers loved it. It’s about time someone said something about GLBT issues in H.I.S.D. and Pasadena as well. I personally would like to meet the writer who had the courage to write about a subject that some people might consider taboo.

In my opinion this article could be the young Stonewall of the Millennium for teens and young adults everywhere. This article could inspire the young gay-lesbian-bi-trans generation to start to stand up for what we believe in. Freedom of sexuality no matter if they are gay straight or whatever the case may be. After all, this is America and everybody deserves the right to freedom, justice, and the right to Absolute FABULOUSNESS!!!

The people of America (or even Gay America, as I like to say) should have the right to be whatever they want. That means in school, the military, and even at home in some cases. Yes! HISD does need to educate the students on subjects like what sexuality or homosexuality is. Teach them that it isn’t a bad thing. I totally agree that HISD needs a gay-straight alliance, not just in one or two but in all of the middle schools and especially in the high school.

Believe me, I know what it’s like for a teenager at 15 to be "Out and Open" in high school. It can be one of the best times in your life or it can be the worst time. But, if we–Gay America–help these young adults to get a GSA started, there’s nothing that could stop us.

Antonio Wallace Maldonado

Houston

Thank You, Dianne

Editor’s note: This open letter to Dianne Hardy-Garcia was sent with a request to print it for the entire community.

Dear Dianne Hardy-Garcia,

I read recently of your resignation in OutSmart ("Hardy-Garcia Resigns," by Ann Walton Sieber, February). You cannot imagine the depth of my personal gratitude to you for the immense stamina, courage, intelligence, and political savvy you have shown in relentlessly seeking justice for me and for our vast community.

While I understand your need to move forward, I will personally miss the comfort of having you in my corner. I could not have begun to do what you have done. I have spent years reeling from the two gay-related firings and family rejection that have been part of my journey. It has taken some time to find my bearing again.

In the meantime, you have been there fighting every day, every session for our freedoms. You have made a difference in an arena I could not. Not just in your city, or in this state, but the ripples of your work have moved and inspired others, I believe, all over this earth. The power of love and compassion are inestimable in their compass.

Please know that you are loved, deeply appreciated, and respected by many, many people in our community. You are leaving a position, but you will never leave our hearts.

Dean Luttrell

Houston

Bad News Bally’s

So Bally Total Fitness on North Shepherd accepted a couple’s check and then denied them membership? ("One Membership Does Not Fit(ness) All," by Kay Dayus, February.) Sounds exactly like the Bally my partner (of 10 years) and I joined, on West Bellfort! The representative at that location cheerfully took our check, had me sign up for a three-year membership, paying "a little more" to include my partner (who was sitting beside me and whose name was on the check), but neglected to include her name on the contract. He insisted several times that "her name’s in the computer," by way of explanation.

We appealed to the manager who examined our contract, shook both our hands, and said that my partner’s name was indeed "in the computer" and that she was a full-fledged member of Bally Total Fitness.

He took my picture, gave me a badge, and said that in three days we could return to work out and pick up our "free" gift pack of promotional merchandise. He said that my partner could get her badge at that time.

When she returned several weeks later, my partner asked for her badge but was denied. I was sent home to locate my contract, which of course did not have her name on it. We spoke to the rep who signed us up, as well as the manager we met when we paid, but they both refused to acknowledge my partner’s membership because she had waited longer than three days to present for her badge! Calls were allegedly made to the local headquarters (out of our presence, and we were not allowed to speak to the people there, or even know their names), and the manager told us, "Headquarters will not honor [Jan’s] membership."

We felt very much like it was our relationship that was the problem, not when she actually presented. In fact, they offered several different reasons to deny her an ID badge before they settled on the "three-day rule."

Businesses believe they can abuse us like this because they think we are weak and unorganized. Thank you for alerting us to the scams Bally Total Fitness promotes–wish I had read about it before Christmas!

Jazz Paz

Houston

Celebrating Bob and Steven’s Journey

Thanks for including Rev. Bob Schaibly’s "sermon" on "Love Is a Journey" in your February issue. Bob should know; he and Steven have been together for 10 years, through severe illnesses and deaths of parents. Imagine trying to deal with these traumas alone.

My husband and I went to a church party Saturday night on February 16. It was a gala event, a huge celebration of Bob and Steven’s anniversary of their commitment ceremony exactly 10 years ago. The fellowship hall was packed with people of all ages, including children, who were especially invited so that they might understand that people of the same sex can commit to a loving relationship with each other.

Nobody in the predominantly heterosexual First Unitarian Universalist Church of Houston cares a whit that our minister and his partner are gay. How I wish that this celebration were not an isolated, curious event; that we might all celebrate love and caring wherever it is to be found without passing judgment as to the gender of the people involved.

Sue Null

Houston

Abandon the Fight for Gay Marriage!

But do not abandon the idea. Marriage is a concept that was historically created in the church and then attached certain legal rights by governments. The word "marriage" has a strong emotional attachment for people with strong religious beliefs because it is a holy, therefore religious, union between men and women.

So when we fight for gay marriage, we are attacking their religious belief system. This is clearly a fight we will lose. Look at the Defense of Marriage Act as an example and all of the other proposed legislation. We are giving conservative religious groups a way to openly attack us.

But are we truly fighting for marriage in the eyes of the church? If we are, we should be going through the church and not through the government. There should be a separation of church and state. We are fighting for legal rights and the recognition of a same-sex partnership by our government, not the church. So why not use language that reflects our true goal and that will not offend our opponents. Call it "legal union" instead of "marriage." And have them be equal in the law and allow the religious opposition to feel they have defended the religious institution of marriage. Everybody wins.

A fight for "legal union" is a fight we can win. Even deeply conservative, religious people can understand that same-sex partners who have been living together in a committed relationship reserve certain legal, human rights. Some of us may find this a compromise they are not willing to make. They may want to feel that a gay union is equal to a marriage. The question is in whose eyes. The church is not ready for that leap, but the state may be. Let’s win a battle and not lose the war.

William George

Boston

Remembering Betty Rudnick

Editor’s note: In March 2001, our cover article "Rebels & Survivors" by Pokey Anderson told the life stories of four of the women in Arden Eversmeyer’s Old Lesbian Oral Herstory Project. The final story was of Betty Rudnick and contained the passage: "Betty’s health began to fail in 1999.... After her death in January 2000, her friend Arden Eversmeyer recalled that Betty’s family ‘was going to put her in the ground without any public acknowledgment, not even a prayer. She was an embarrassment to them.’ " We recently received the following letter.

I am Betty Rudnick’s great niece, and let me tell you this ... she was never an embarrassment. My relationship with Betty during my early childhood was rocky, we had not yet found a way to communicate successfully. But as I grew into a young woman, my relationship with Betty really did grow into a mature, loving one. She was intelligent, sharp, aggressive, caring, influential, and opinionated.

I was fortunate enough my senior year in high school to attend a Hadassah convention in New York City with Betty and my grandmother. It was one of the best trips I have ever taken, and one of the most impressionable. Another time a couple of years before she became ill, she handed me a beautiful pair of diamond earrings and said, "I want you to have these, and I’d rather give them to you while I am alive so I can see you wear them." There was so much love in my family for Betty and the other three sisters. My grandmother always taught lessons of not passing judgment and treating others kindly, regardless of differences.

I feel sorry that Betty never felt like she could communicate her sexuality with the rest of the family. But I will say she would have been cradled in the same loving arms regardless. I am infuriated reading this article and being accused of such ludicrous things. Betty’s personal life was her business and she chose to keep certain details from certain people. I guess, unfortunately, all the people who were quick to point the finger didn’t know Betty’s relationships as well as they thought.

Jennifer Bailey

via Internet

Arden Eversmeyer responds:

Dear Jennifer,

I am truly sorry you were offended by the article in OutSmart. But I’m happy to hear of the happy memories you have of Betty. You are correct in your assessment of her as "intelligent, sharp, aggressive, caring, influential, and opinionated." She was also unfailingly fair and devastatingly funny.

Betty was adamantly opposed to a nursing home –she wanted to stay at home. So it was the lesbian community that connected her with hospice, found caregivers, and saw her through her last months of life.

Her activism the last few years through Hadassah, the Houston Area Women’s Center, and the lesbian community has benefited women in all walks of life. She was a wise woman and a dedicated friend.

Arden Eversmeyer

Houston

Chris Sill Fan Club

I just wanted to say I really like your CD reviews and almost always agree with you–although I didn’t agree with the new Cher CD song "real love" comment, I really like that one. Anyway, I just wanted to say I appreciate your reviews and that’s the main reason I pick up OutSmart. Have you heard the new lamb CD What Sound? I’m not sure if you like them or not but that album is beautiful. I think it’s only available as an import. Oh, after [your] Kylie review, I ordered her other CDs.

Anthony Valesquez

Houston

Correction: In the March Outsmart, we incorrectly reported that the new president of the GLBT Chamber of Commerce was Larry Baumann. The correct name is Gary Baumann. We regret the error.