Calendar

APRIL 2002 CALENDAR

Weekly (Tue., Wed., Thu.)
HIV Testing. The Montrose Clinic offers free confidential HIV testing every Tuesday at The Club Houston (2205 Fannin), 8 pm—midnight; every Wednesday at Mary's (1022 Westheimer), 4—8 pm, and at the Houston Lesbian & Gay Community Center (803 Hawthorne), 6—9 pm; and every Thursday at Toyz Disco (5322 Glenmont), 10 pm—1 am. Call 713/830-3070 for other testing locations. LIVE IN OR NEAR CONROE?: Free & confidential HIV/AIDS testing is also available from 2—5 pm on the 13th & 27th in Conroe at Northwoods AIDS Coalition, 1414 South Frazier, Ste. 106. More info: 936/441-1614.

6 (Sat.)
Earth Day Festival. Environmental education, live musical entertainment, & traditional festival fun are on tap for this 6th annual festival. The event will feature Sugar Ray, Natalie Imbruglia, Remy Zero, Vanessa Carlton, & more. Exhibits will include more than 40 environmentally-friendly groups who will provide information & demonstrations on how they work to enhance & preserve our planet. Plenty of activities for all ages. Admission is $15 for adults (free for children 10 and under). 10 am—7 pm @ Eleanor Tinsley Park, between Allen Parkway & Memorial Drive.

6 & 7 (Sat. & Sun.)
In Observance of Holocaust Remembrance Day. On the 6th: The Houston Public Library will present a screening of Paragraph 175, Robert Epstein & Jeffrey Friedman’s documentary film about Nazi persecution of gay men & lesbians. Included are interviews with some of the few remaining concentration camp survivors. Panel discussion will follow. Free. Begins 2 pm in the auditorium of the Julia Ideson Building, Central Library, 500 McKinney. Info: 832/393-1313. On the 7th: The Houston Lesbian & Gay Community Center will present a Read Aloud Event featuring readings from GLBT survivors of the Holocaust and about the GLBT community affected by the Holocaust. In addition, the public is invited to share relevant readings in an open mic format. Free. Reception to follow. Begins 2 pm at Houston Lesbian & Gay Community Center, 803 Haw-thorne. Info: 713/524-3818.

6 & 13 (Sat.)
Galveston Island. On the 6th, it’s a pre-benefit show at Robert’s Lafitte, 2501 Ave Q at corner of 25th, to benefit AIDS Coalition of Coastal Texas (ACCT), sponsored by Misty Valdez, who has been using her talents to support the coalition for the past 14 years. The island diva says this 15th benefit is like her "Quinceanera." This first show is just a preview of the main benefit show scheduled for June 1 at Garza’s Kon Tiki. Misty hopes to raise more money than ever, making this show and her garage sale, which takes place on the 13th at 1110 Tremont, very important. Misty is looking for as much support as possible in this garage sale to insure that her 15th-anniversary benefit is the biggest yet. Misty welcomes donations of clothing and money.

7 (Sun.)
AIDS Coalition of Texas serves over 200 HIV+ clients & more than 40 families with small children each year. They provide food pantry, transportation to medical care, payment for prescriptions of HIV medication, & rent and utility assistance, among other services. While state & federal funding have remained virtually the same, clients are living longer, healthy lives, and the funding has not kept up with this tremendous need. To this end, the AIDS Coalition of Texas holds an annual fundraiser to offset the growing needs of their clients. This year’s event will be a Champagne Brunch with the theme "Jungle Boogie Brunch." There will be a scrumptious buffet, a DJ to spin dance tunes, and a silent auction, which will include original art created by over 30 area artists specifically for the event. The cost is $35. Noon—3 pm @ the San Luis Ballroom, Galveston. For more info: Pam at 409/763-2437.

7 (Sun.)
PFLAG‘s meeting features James Knapp and the Gay Men’s Chorus of Houston in a program that will include a concert, personal stories, and time for questions & answers. 2 pm @ Christ Church Cathedral, 1117 Texas at San Jacinto. Free parking across from church.

9 (Tue.)
Women’s Health Network (WHN) is new and coming to the Texas Medical Center. It will bring together women’s health professionals from throughout the Greater Houston area to foster research & education collaborations. The target audi- ence for this new initiative includes all health professionals interested in women’s health, including clinicians, researchers, educators, administrators, & students. Participants will represent the public, private, & nonprofit sectors. A kickoff event takes place from 5—8 pm @ the Houston Marriott Medical Center, 6580 Fannin. Keynote speaker is Dr. Wanda Jones, deputy assistant secretary of health (women’s health), U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services. Other speakers: Dr. Janet Lawson & Dr. Kathryn Stream. This April event will be followed by monthly seminars, a journal club, an interactive website, & an annual symposium.

10 (Wed.)
Houston Area Teen Coalition of Homosexuals (H.A.T.C.H.) holds its second "Art for H.A.T.C.H." fundraiser. By showcasing local gay artists, both noted and new, this unique artistic experience raises funds for the mission of H.A.T.C.H. (to provide support, guidance, & friendship in a safe environment for gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans-gendered, & questioning youth between the ages of 13 and 20). Guests at the event will meet the artists and mingle with them amongst their exhibits. 100% of the ticket sales go directly to H.A.T.C.H. Additionally, the artists are graciously donating 10% of all art sales during the event. The first "Art for H.A.T.C.H." in October of 2000 raised over $5,000 when 5 artists from Houston’s gay community were showcased. This year’s "Art for H.A.T.C.H II" will include even more gay Houston artists, including Kermit Eisenhut, Missy Gentilli, Joe Cullata, Patrick Palmer, David Wheeler, & Jeff Roeske. Guests will be eligible in the ticket raffle for an original painting, generously donated by Patrick Palmer from his collection. 6—10 pm at Meteor Urban-Video-Lounge, where a cash bar will be available. Admission $20. Tickets/ info: 713/426.4810.

12 (Fri.)
Epigraph for a Condemned Book. Da Camera of Houston presents the Houston premiere of the latest work in Sarah Rothenberg’s highly acclaimed Music and the Literary Imagination series. Epigraph explores the works of composer Frédéric Chopin and author Charles Baudelaire through lighting, video, & live performance. 8 pm @ Wortham Center’s Cullen Theater, 500 Texas. Tickets are $20—$35 (students/seniors half price) and can be purchased by calling Da Camera of Houston at 713/524-5050 or by visiting www. ticketmaster.com.

12 & 13 (Fri. & Sat.)
The Texas Tap Ensemble (TTE) presents Dancin’, showcasing such wonderful musical numbers as "Go into Your Dance," "Varsity Drag," "Sing, Sing, Sing," and "Les Tableaux." TTE is a dance ensemble comprised of Houston-area children between the ages of 8 and 18, many of whom have gone on to attend some of this country’s most prestigious dance & musical theater universities. Members of TTE have studied with the Jose Limon Dance Company, Broadway Theater Project, Alvin Ailey Dance Company, and Julliard Summer Program. 8 pm @ Heinen Theatre, 3517 Austin. Tickets/info: 713/686-9184.

13 (Sat.)
He’s Poirot Without a Pulse–Houston’s own Dean James writes about a gay American vampire in a small English town. • A seventh-generation Mississippian now transplanted to Texas, Dean James grew up with scads of cousins all over the place, none of whom has ever married one another ... as far as he knows. Sitting around on porches on hot summer days, listening to adults tell stories, he decided he wanted to tell stories, too. He wrote his first novel when he was 12 and has been making up stories ever since. • The openly gay James now has his first novel about a gay character ... so the character is a vampire, so what? We won’t tell Tom Cruise if you won’t. • The gay American vampire is sleuth Simon Kirby-Jones, who has pulled up stakes in the States to settle in the quaint English village of Snupperton Mumsley, where his southern charm will be put to work uncovering the deadly secrets of his new neighbors. Unceasingly charming and wonderfully witty, Posted to Death introduces a vampire whose bark is worse than his bite–and whose unique way of unlife makes him well-suited to delving into the mysteries of death. • When James is not thinking up stories, he manages Murder by the Book, one of the nation’s oldest mystery bookstores. See James in person (after dark?), get him to sign the book (in blood?), and enjoy a (biting?) discussion at 4:30 pm @ Murder by the Book, 2342 Bissonnet. For more info: 713/524-8597 or www.murderbooks.com.

13 (Sat.)
John Leguizamo. Emmy-winner John Leguizamo returns to HBO with his fourth solo special, John Leguizamo’s Sexaholix ... A Love Story. An autobiographical performance by the versatile actor and writer, Sexaholix explores subjects ranging from the history of Latino people ("Latinos for Dummies: From Montezuma to Me") to more personal topics such as his relationships with women and his complicated family dynamics. Leguizamo tells his story from childhood to fatherhood through the eyes of a myriad cast of characters, including his father, his friends, and his lovers. • Sexaholix follows Leguizamo’s three other acclaimed HBO specials, which were also adaptations of his stage work. The stage production of Mambo Mouth garnered an Outer Critic Circle and Obie Award, while the HBO special won a CableACE Award. 1993’s Spic-O-Rama won four CableACE Awards. Freak received a Tony nomination, and the HBO special brought Leguizamo an Emmy Award in 1999 for Outstanding Performance in a Variety or Music Program, as well as a nomination for Outstanding Variety, Music, or Comedy Special. • Sexaholix debuts at 9 pm on HBO.

13 & 14 (Sat. & Sun.)
Spring Dance. Houston Metropolitan Dance Center presents its spring concert, which includes new works by choreographers Randy Duncan of Chicago; Kevin Wynn of New York; a collaboration between Max Stone & Jana Hicks, both of New York; and more. Sat. at 8 pm, Sun. at 2, @ Wortham Center’s Cullen Theater. Tickets ($18—$35) can be purchased by calling 713/522-6375.

14 (Sun.)
Alan Cohen is the author of 20 popular inspirational books and tapes, including the best-selling The Dragon Doesn’t Live Here Anymore and the award-winning A Deep Breath of Life. He is a contributing writer for the New York Times best-selling series Chicken Soup for the Soul. Cohen’s topic for his Houston workshop is "Take What You Have and Make What You Want." 2:30 pm @ Unity Church of Christianity (a non-denominational church that welcomes all people, all faiths), 2929 Unity Dr. at Hillcroft, 713/782-4050. Tickets $20 in advance ($25 at the door). Ticket line phone number: 713/787-3490. Cohen will also conduct Unity’s Sunday services at 9:15 & 11 am.

17 (Wed.)
David Sedaris. Spend an evening with the guy Time Out New York says "just may be the funniest man alive." Playwright, author, NPR star, and retired elf David Sedaris made his comic debut recounting his strange-but-true experiences of life as a Macy’s elf in SantaLand Diaries on NPR’s Morning Edition. Society for the Performing Arts presents this evening of delightful irreverence & wickedly funny satire at 8 pm @ Wortham Center’s Cullen Theater. Tickets ($10—$35) available at all Ticketmaster locations or online at www.spa houston.org; charge by phone at 713/629-3700.

19 & 20 (Fri. & Sat.)
Just Be Quoz. The twisted septet Quoz sings "Peter Pig," Queen’s "Love of My Life," "You’re Too Hot to Sleep With," Fred Barton’s "Pour Me a Man," "At the Moving Picture Ball," and others. 8 pm @ Unhinged Theater, 3304 LaBranch. Tickets $14 ($16 at the door). Reservations: 713/524-8707. Info: www.quoz.org.

19—21 (Fri.—Sun.)
Roger Williams. Three generations, 115 recordings, and 18 gold & platinum albums to his credit, pianist Roger Williams remains one of the most popular musicians of our day. From hits such as "Born Free," "The Impossible Dream," theme from Somewhere in Time, and the ever-popular "Autumn Leaves," Williams will dazzle with his signature style & unforgettable sound. Friday & Saturday at 8 pm, Sunday at 7:30 pm @ Jones Hall, 615 Louisiana. Tickets ($25—$80) are available at all Ticketmaster outlets; by calling 713/224-7575; or online at www. houstonsymphony.com.

20 (Sun.)
Kite Festival. It’s the 1st annual Earth Day Kite Festival. The high-flying spectacle shares the day with environmental displays, live music, arts & crafts vendors, great food, beverages, & children’s activities. Admission is free when you bring a kite to fly, or a non-perishable food item. 11 am—6 pm @ Cameron Festival Park, Hwy. 146 at Red Bluff Road, Seabrook. For more info: www.allpointspro.com or 281/339-2727.

22 (Mon.)
Listen Up. The Margarett Root Brown Houston Reading Series presents an exclusive American appearance by the renowned Irish writer Edna O’Brien, author of 15 novels, including The Country Girls (which led to the banning in Ireland of her next six books), Time and Tide, and her most recent, Wild Decembers, five collections of short stories, and several plays & screenplays. She also wrote a biography of James Joyce. She will be reading from her new novel, In the Forest. 7:30 pm (doors open at 6:45) @ the Alley Theatre, 615 Texas Ave. Tickets are $5 (students/seniors free) and are available only at the door on the evening of the reading. Info: 713/521-2026 or www.inprint-inc.org.

22—28 (Mon.—Sun.)
Tennis, Anyone? Andre Agassi (the ex-Mr. Brooke Shields) is the winner of seven Grand Slam singles titles. Andy Roddick is the reigning champion. The two tennis pros headline the field at the 2002 U.S. Men’s Clay Court Championships. Roddick will attempt to become the 1st person to successfully defend the U.S. Men’s Clay Court singles title since Jose-Luis Clerc of Argentina in 1981. The draw also includes two other former champions, Agassi (1981) and Michael Chang (1998), as well as last year’s runner-up Hyung-Taik Lee of Korea. It all takes place at the Westside Tennis Club, 713/783-1620.

23 (Tue.)
The Unfortunate Marriage. Da Camera of Houston presents Doulce Mémoire, one of the world’s finest early music ensembles, in their Houston debut. They bring The Unfortunate Marriage, a collection of songs on the themes of women, love, & marriage, to Houston for this one-night-only performance. 7:30 pm @ The Menil Collection, 1515 Sul Ross. Tickets ($30, students/seniors half price) are available by contacting Da Camera Music Center, 1427 Branard, 713/524-5050, or online at www.ticketmaster.com.

26 (Fri.)
Comickaze. If the Laff Stop is the Cadillac of Houston comedy, Comickaze is the Vespa. They’ll get you there, but in an unexpected way. Join DiverseWorks in its first all-humor 12 Minutes MAX! Whether it’s funny ha-ha, funny strange, or funny you’re killing me, the performers will pump Houston’s stomach clean of its undigested guffaws. 8 pm @ DiverseWorks, 1117 East Freeway (I-10 at North Main), 713/223-8346. Tickets $12 ($10 members. $8 students/artists/seniors). 24-hour reservation line: 713/335-3445.

27 (Sat.)
Rainbow Fishing Club has reserved 20 fishing spots on the New Buccaneer of Galveston, which takes up to 100 people and is the largest party boat in Texas. Cost is $70 for the 12-hour trip ($30 for non-fishers who want to enjoy the cruise). The boat supplies all fishing equipment & bait, has a cook & grill on board and a large sundeck upstairs. Reservations/more info: 713/523-6381. A trip is also planned for June 2.

27 (Sat.)
Holy Body Tattoo. The Tango inspires Circa, a new multi-media work by Vancouver’s Holy Body Tattoo with live music from Britain’s rising cult trio, The Tiger Lillies. Melding the eerie, evocative vocals of Martyn Jacques with Holy Body Tattoo’s ferocious signature dance style, Circa illuminates a memorable love affair and negotiates the boundaries between intimacy & fragility. Steamy & intense, it’s drop-dead sexy & deliciously satisfying. Society for the Performing Arts presents Circa at 8 pm @ Wortham Center’s Cullen Theater. Tickets ($10—$38) are available at all Ticketmaster locations or online at www.spa houston.org; charge by phone at 713/629-3700.

27 (Sat.)
Da Camera Goes to the Zoo! In celebration of National Poetry Month, Da Camera of Houston presents the Sam Dinkins III Trio, featuring poet Lorenzo Thomas, in a program titled "Jazz and Poetry: A Fusion." An hour prior to the concert, Da Camera sponsors a "musical instrument petting zoo." Children have the opportunity to see, touch, & play instruments featured in that day’s performance. The concert is free with paid admission to the Houston Zoological Gardens ($2.50 adults, $2 seniors, 50¢ children 3—12; children 2 & under free). 1 pm musical instrument petting zoo; 2 pm concert @ the Houston Zoological Gardens, Hermann Park, 1513 MacGregor Dr. More info: 713/524-7601, ext. 15, or www.dacamera.com.

28 (Sun.)
Share Our Strength: Taste of the Nation is a gala afternoon of wine- & food-tasting from Houston’s best restaurants, caterers, & chefs. 100% of all ticket sales will support organizations fighting hunger on local, state, national, & international levels (70% of which will support Houston organizations). Cost is $65 per person. 4—7 pm @ the Houstonian Hotel Club & Spa, outside on the Meadow, 111 N. Post Oak Lane. For more info: 713/520-7111.

PLANNING AHEAD FOR MAY & NOVEMBER

May 1 (Wed.)
A Little Day Music. Da Camera of Houston’s free lunchtime performance series features Dvorák’s String Quintet in G Major. The series also features drawings for tickets to Da Camera’s upcoming events. You are encouraged to bring & enjoy your lunch while listening to the music at noon in the Grand Foyer of the Wortham Theater Center, 500 Texas at Smith. For more info: 713/524-7601, ext. 15.

May 1 (Wed.)
Responding to the Needs of MH/MR People with HIV. The Bering Omega Care Center is a licensed adult day-care facility operated by Bering Omega Community Services for people with HIV disease. This past February, they began offering "First Wednesdays," a lecture series on HIV-related topics for social services & nursing professionals. Tonight’s topic is "Responding to the Needs of MH/MR People with HIV." Lectures are free of charge, and certificates of attendance are available for obtaining continuing education units. Speakers are Michael Eckenfels, RN, LSMW, and Andrew McPhaul, LPC. A complimentary light supper will be served. Although there is no fee for participation, space is limited and reservations are required. Social services & nursing professionals: 713/520-7070, ext. 141, for reservations. The next topic, "Protecting Adolescents from HIV Infection," will be covered on June 5.

May 3 (Fri.)
The Gay Men’s Chorus of Houston (GMCH). "Silent Moon 2002" is the chorus’s 4th gala fundraising dinner and features cabaret singer/actress Deborah Boily, presenting I’ve Got My Standards . . . Now and Then!, a cabaret review which takes a sophisticated, clever look at popular songs of the last five decades. Emcee is Ernie Manouse, anchor/producer of Houston PBS’s Weekday. "Silent Moon" opens with cocktails & a silent auction beginning at 6:30 pm, continues with a seated dinner at 8, and the show begins at 9, all @ the Warwick Hotel. Tickets $75 on the GMCH website (www.gmch.org/special/silentmoon) or by calling 713/521-SING (7464), or through Box Office Tickets at 800-494-TIXS.

May 3 (Fri.)
Main Street Theater, under the guise of founding artistic director Rebecca Udden, celebrates 27 years of outstanding theater & arts education in Houston with its "Light Up the Sky 2002 Gala." Sharon Montgomery serves as emcee, accompanied by Jerry Atwood. Revels include elegant dining, entertainment by Main Street Theater, and a dazzling auction with goodies. Begins at 6:30 pm at the Houstonian. Tickets $150—$1,000. For tickets/more info: Julie Morin at 713/524-3622.

May 4 (Sat.)
Progressive Dinner 2002. AssistHers and An Uncommon Legacy are proud to announce their annual fundraiser, "Progressive Dinner 2002." Those who have attended this event in past years know how enjoyable and entertaining it is. For those who have been unable to participate, here’s what’s in store for you. All participants will meet at Congregation Emanu El, 1500 Sunset Blvd. There you will board one of three chartered buses. Each bus will set off on its own fun-filled journey with a master of ceremony to entertain you along the way. The buses will take you to three different homes where a total of 10 generous hosts and hostesses within our community will open their doors and serve wonderful culinary treats. The first home will serve cocktails and hors d’oeuvres, the second, soup and salad, and the third, your main entrée. After the main course has been enjoyed, all three buses will converge at the same house for dessert and coffee. An evening such as this is not to be missed. Our GLBT community will savor wonderful food, have lots of laughs, and cultivate new friendships. Progressive Dinner 2002 will take place on Saturday, May 4. Tickets are $75 and can be purchased by mailing a check to An Uncommon Legacy, 4310 Verdome, Houston, TX 77092. Please make checks payable to An Uncommon Legacy. For more information and to purchase tickets with a credit card, please call AssistHers at 713/521-4628, option 1. This event has been a sellout for the past four years, so make your reservations early.

May 4 (Sat.)
Heartsounds. Da Camera of Houston closes its 2001/2002 season with George Tsontakis’ Heartsounds. The concert also features Antonin Dvorák’s String Quartet in G Major, Op. 77, and selections from his Cypresses for string quartet. 8 pm @ Wortham Center’s Cullen Theater. Tickets ($20—$35, students/seniors half price) are available by contacting Da Camera Music Center, 1427 Branard, 713/524-5050, or online at www.ticketmaster.com.

May 4 & 5 (Sat. & Sun.)
Dancing Off the Page is Chrysalis Dance Company in performance with special guest artist The David Caceres Jazz Ensemble. Sat. at 8 pm, Sun. at 3, @ the Kaplan Theatre, Jewish Community Center, 5601 South Braeswood. Tickets $18 ($8 seniors/students/children). Reservations/info: 713/661-9855.

May 4 & 5 (Sat. & Sun.)
Annie Get Your Gun is the final production of The Grand 1894 Opera House’s 2001-2002 performing arts season. This Irving Berlin classic showcases Annie Oakley in this musical tribute to the wild west. You’ll hear such favorite songs as "You Can’t Get a Man with a Gun" and "Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better." Tickets $16.50—$65. Saturday at 8 pm, Sunday at 3 & 7:30 pm @ Galveston’s Grand 1894 Opera House, 2020 Postoffice, 409/765-1894.

May 14 (Sat.)
Barbara Cook. If you’re gonna be in New York today, and if you happen to have an extra $200 burning a hole in your wallet . . . or clutch, you gotta see singer Barbara Cook receive the New Dramatists 2002 Lifetime Achievement Award. The New Dramatists, the nation’s oldest nonprofit workshop dedicated to the development of new playwrights, salutes an individual who has made an outstanding artistic contribution to the American theater. This year, they honor Cook at their 53rd annual spring luncheon tribute. Hal Prince will present the award. 11:15 am—2:30 pm @ the New York Marriott Marquis, Broadway Ballroom, 1535 Broadway, between 45th & 46th streets. For tickets, call 212/757-6960.

May 18 (Sat.)
American Musical Theatre Awards. The first American Musical Theatre Awards, established & produced by Theatre Under The Stars (TUTS), will be the entertainment highlight of TUTS’ first event in the new Hobby Center for the Performing Arts when Morgan Stanley presents TUTS’ 2002 Inaugural Evening. Tony Award-winning composer/lyricist Jerry Herman (an interview with Herman is scheduled for our May issue) will be honored at this year’s ceremony. Herman’s career has included the creation of such hits shows as Mame, Hello, Dolly!, & La Cage Aux Folles. In addition to the awards ceremony, the evening will feature fine food and a 240-page, lavishly illustrated pictorial history of TUTS highlighting over 200 Houston productions. For more info: 713/558-2600.

November 2—9 (Sat.—Sat.)
2002 Sydney Gay Games. The Houston Montrose Athletic Association with Mark Hoyer of American Express Travel will be the resource contact for the Houston contingent that will be going to the games. Hoyer has worked out a travel package that includes discounted hotel & flight rates. Visit the 2002 Sydney Gay Games website at www.sydney2002.org.au for more info about the events & registration. For reservations, call Mark at 713/365-6266 (reservation cost $210).

PERFORMING ARTS

• Book of Days by Lanford Wilson. When murder roars through a small Missouri town, Ruth Hoch (who has just been cast as Joan of Arc in a local community theatre production of Shaw’s St. Joan) begins her quest to find the truth & honesty amid small-town jealousies, religion, greed, & lies. Apr. 19—May 11 @ the Ensemble Theatre, 3535 Main St. For more info/ticket prices, contact Chris Wilson’s Actors Theatre of Houston’s box office at 713/529-6606.

• Come Up and Slay Me Sometime and Marriage Can Be Murder are presented by Mystery Café, home of Comedy Murder Mystery Dinner Theater. • In their new original production Come Up and Slay Me Sometime, the troupe runs roughshod over Texas history of the 1920s, as a national radio broadcast takes place at a floating speakeasy. In attendance: flappers, gangsters, historical figures, Mae West, & Abraham Lincoln. With a combination like that, somebody’s going to wind up dead. • Marriage Can Be Murder takes place at a disastrous wedding ceremony and can serve as either a warning to lovebirds or a soothing balm to those who have already posted banns, as they can say, "Well, at least our wedding wasn’t that bad!" • Come Up and Slay Me runs Saturday nights at 8 pm in repertory with Marriage Can Be Murder, which runs Friday nights at 8 pm. Both shows are presented at the Prima Pasta Restaurant, 2710 Richmond Ave. Info: 713/944-2583 or www.mysterycafehouston.com.

• Communicating Doors. A leather-clad dominatrix is summoned to a posh hotel suite to provide one final good time to an ailing billionaire who, as she soon discovers, has a fondness for killing his wives. Finding herself caught in a web of intrigue that spans 40 years, she tries to escape into the neighboring suite through a communicating door–and steps out into the same hotel suite, 20 years earlier. Here she meets wife number 2 on what was to have been the eve of her murder, and hilarity ensues as the women travel back & forth through time in a race to save wife number 1 and prevent their own violent ends. Apr. 24—May 19 @ Stages Repertory Theatre, 3201 Allen Parkway. Tickets ($32—$42) are available at the Stages box office or by calling 713/527-0123 or at www.stagestheatre.com.

• Crumbs from the Table of Joy. In some way, we’re all looking for answers to life’s questions and "crumbs from the table of joy." This is a moving yet poignantly humorous story of a young woman’s coming of age in Brooklyn, amidst the influences of her aunt who parties in Harlem and preaches revolution, and her father, a devout follower of Father Divine. Sparks of emotion & magical moments fly when Ernestine’s vibrant Aunt Lily shows up one day with suitcase in hand to give the family a crash course in politics & civil rights, and days later, her father shows up with a new wife, a post-war German refugee. Through Apr. 14 @ the Ensemble Theatre, 3535 Main St. More info/reservations: 713/520-0055.

• Dirty Little Showtunes—The Sequel is part two of the original Showtunes that was produced by Theatre New West early last year. It follows the format of Forbidden Broadway, a satirical revue in its 18th year in New York, which uses new lyrics to Broadway showtunes to spoof the industry. Dirty Little Showtunes does the same thing, only with a gay male context. Directed by Joe Watts. Apr. 26—June 22 (weekends only) @ Theatre New West, 1415 California, on the ground floor of the Sonoma Restaurant building. For more info: 713/522-2204.

• Forever Hold Your Peace! Join the festivities as the tiny town of Dumpster, Texas, throws a wedding in this original Fertle Family comedy. Thursdays & Fridays at 8:30 pm, Saturdays at 8 & 10:30 pm, through May 12 @ Radio Music Theatre, 2623 Colquitt. Desserts, munchies, champagnes, wines, beers, cappuccino, & soft drinks are available for purchase throughout the show. Admission is $16, reservations are required, & tickets must be purchased in advance at the theater or by calling the box office at 713/522-7722.

• Greater Tuna. Don’t miss the 20th Anniversary Tour of the Tuna that started it all. Greater Tuna is the hilarious comedy about Texas’ third-smallest town, where the Lion’s Club is too liberal and Patsy Cline never dies. The eclectic band of citizens who make up this town are portrayed by the original Broadway cast, Joe Sears & Jaston Williams. Apr. 9—14 @ Galveston’s Grand 1894 Opera House, 2020 Postoffice. Tickets ($11—$48) are available by calling 409/765-1894 or by visiting www.thegrand.com.

• House and Garden. Using its two stages, the Alley Theatre offers Alan Ayckbourn’s two-play challenge, House and Garden. Each play is performed separately on one of the two stages by the same daring cast, racing back & forth to make their entrances from one theater to the other. As for the audience, they see only one play at a time. • Up in the House, Teddy has dreams of a bright future as the new local member of Parliament. The only thing barring his path is an urgent need to clean up his private life before the Prime Minister’s special envoy arrives. • Meanwhile, down in the Garden, frenzied preparations are under way for the annual village carnival. Will the young maypole dancers pull it off? Will the French star arrive in time? • Although they were written as companion plays, both plays stand alone–each play can be seen independently, and in any order, but it’s more fun when you see both of the story. • April 12—May 12 (preview performances are Apr. 12—16) @ the Alley Theatre, 615 Texas Ave. Tickets to House are $20—$40 for preview performances and $35—$50 after Apr. 17 opening. Tickets to Garden are $25 for preview performances and $40—$45 after Apr. 17 opening. For more info: 713/228-8421 or www.alleytheatre.org.

• Houston Ballet. The gifted young artists of Houston Ballet Academy, the company’s professional training wing, cap their studies with a special one-night-only concert featuring works tailor-made to show them at their best. Fri., Apr. 19 @ Wortham Theater Center, Texas at Smith streets. Tickets are available by calling 713/227-ARTS (2787) or in person at the Wortham Ticket Center in the Wortham Theater Center. For more information: www.houstonballet.org.

• Houston Grand Opera presents Catherine Malfitano in The Makropulos Case, a tale of the 337-year-old Elina Makropulos, a.k.a. glamorous super-diva Emilia Marty, who was granted "eternal youth" centuries ago. She must now recover the potion’s formula or else death will catch up with her. Apr. 19—May 3 @ Wortham Center’s Brown Theater, Texas at Smith. Tickets ($18—$225) are available by phone at 713/227-ARTS (2787), in person at Wortham Ticket Center in the lobby of the Wortham Theater Center, or on the website at www. houstongrandopera.org.

• The Misanthrope. Alceste is a man disgusted with mankind–and with womankind, for that matter. Alceste’s friends are insincere, his girlfriend pays too much attention to trivial people, and the worlds of law & literature alike are full of sycophants & power-mongers. Even Celimene, his true love, enjoys baiting men with her affection & then pitting them against one another. As he exposes the fraud & superficiality around him, his own intolerance & obdurance are revealed, and he finds himself increasingly alone. Through Apr. 21 @ Main Street Theater in Rice Village, 2540 Times Blvd. Tickets are $20—$30. More info: 713/524-6706 or www.mainstreettheater.com.

• The Perfect Party. Tony, a professor of American literature, quits his job in order to host the perfect party. He invites a critic from the New York Times in hopes that his perfect party gets its justly deserved perfect review. His wife & best friends are there to ensure everything goes perfectly. A perfectly hilarious play about life’s imperfections. Tickets $12 (students/seniors $10). Through May 4, Fridays & Saturdays at 8 pm @ The Company Onstage, 536 Westbury Square, 713/726-1216. Reservations recommended.

• Sakura, the Bandit Princess. Kabuki meets Western theater as this epic adventure of 11th-century Kyoto makes its Houston debut. Sakura, the exotic tale of a country girl’s odyssey from young innocent to powerful princess, is filled with comedy, romance, action, & mystery. Actress Kati Kuroda portrays an assorted cast of characters that includes a Samurai, a prince, a warrior general, while embroidering the poetry of Kabuki & Noh styles. 4 performances only! Thurs.—Sat., Apr. 18—20, at 8 pm; Sun., Apr. 21, at 4:30 pm @ Theater LaB Houston, 1706 Alamo. For more info/ticket prices: 713/868-7516.

PERFORMING ARTS FOR YOUNG PEOPLE

• Bunnicula. When the Monroe family brings home a bunny found in the movie theater after seeing Dracula, Harold the dog & Chester the cat are less than thrilled. When all of the vegetables in the house start turning white, they become even more suspicious. How can Chester convince the family that things are not normal and that Bunnicula is actully a vampire bunny? Children & animals alike will delight in this spirited musical that they can really sink their teeth into. Recommended for 1st—5th grades. Tickets: $10 adults; $8 children/students/seniors. Main Street Theater at Chelsea Market, 4617 Montrose Blvd. For info on family performances (May 4, 11, & 18): 713/524-6706. Info on school bookings (Apr. 16—May 24): 713/524-7998.

• Peter Pan and Wendy featuring Bob Brown puppets. J.M. Barrie’s beloved children’s masterpiece becomes a fantastic musical adventure as enormous, colorful puppets combine with orchestra & narrator to bring these unforgettable characters to life.

• Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Beautiful Snow White, the handsome prince, the evil witch, & seven kind, hardworking little people make this fairy tale a story to charm most people. Tickets $6. Saturdays at 11 am & 1:30 pm, through Apr. 27 @ The Company Onstage, 536 Westbury, 713/726-1216.

• Thief of Sherwood Forest is presented by Mystery Café on Saturdays at 11:30 am @ the Prima Pasta Restaurant, 2710 Richmond Ave. Info: 713/944-CLUE (2583) or www.mysterycafehouston.com.

RADIO

• After Hours. Saturdays, midnight to 3 am. Featuring the QMZ (Queer Music Zone) with Jimmy Carper. KPFT 90.1 FM, 713/526-5738.

• Queer Voices. Mondays, 8-10 pm. Features, news, music, interviews, reviews, and commentary. KPFT 90.1 FM, 713/526-4000.

ART/PHOTOGRAPHY

• The Grandeur of Viceregal Mexico: Treasures from the Museo Franz Mayer examines the rich heritage of Mexico through works produced over three centuries from 1521 to 1821. The arts of Mexico as manifested in the collection of the Museo Franz Mayer in Mexico City reveal a fascinating confluence of cultures from Europe, Asia, and Meso-America that gives the Mexican arts their unique qualities. The exhibition includes painting and sculpture, furniture, metals, porcelain, and Talavera earthenware. The pieces once belonged to the noted banker/collector Franz Mayer, who settled in Mexico City in 1905. He became a prominent financier, and about 1920 became a pioneer collector of the arts of Vice Regal Mexico. At his death, he left his collections as a legacy to the people of Mexico. Through Aug. 4 @ the Museum of Fine Arts, 1001 Bissonnet, 713/639-7300.

• Agnes Martin. The Menil Collection honors Agnes Martin, a legend in American 20th-century art, in her 90th year, presenting some 30 canvases made in the decade since her 1993 retrospective at the Whitney Museum of American Art. Through May 26 @ the Menil Collection, 1515 Sul Ross, 713/525-9404.

• Paint by Number. Linda Darke Swaynos paints large abstract acrylics on canvas. Through May 4 @ Archway Gallery, 2013 W. Gray, 7132/522-2409.

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