Those Were the Days, My Friend The bar the community called home. Kindred Spirits lives again–for one night by Jacquelyn K. Hedden

If you lived in Houston between 1980 and 1989, the words themselves, "Kindred Spirits," are likely to carry a special resonance, maybe even leading you to wax nostalgic. For almost a decade, Kindred Spirits was the premier place for women to meet and socialize in a safe, upscale environment. Besides its reputation as a "community bar" where everyone knew your name, it gave back to both men and women by raising awareness and providing support where it was needed most. Kindred Spirits was more than just a bar–it was a community phenomenon worth remembering. To commemorate this landmark club, a fundraising dance and celebration are scheduled for March 30, with proceeds benefiting Bering Memorial United Methodist Church’s HIV Medical Services.

Kindred Spirits was born in 1980, when Marion Coleman conceived of creating a place where community organizations could come together under one roof. Although there was no real centralized rallying place, the women’s movement was picking up speed. Houston was a mecca for vibrant, smart, young, independent women, but they needed a place to go. At first Coleman promoted the idea of a community center. But when that did not take off, she decided to open Kindred Spirits, dubbing it "a woman’s alternative."

The women’s bars that had come before had played an important role–local institutions like the Lamp Post, Just Marion & Lynn’s, and Club L’Amore–but Coleman wanted something different for Kindred Spirits. First she chose a highly visible location in a strip shopping center in the West University area. Then she created a safe, well-lit environment, equipped it with a light show and a DJ, and decorated the space in suave and sedate hunter green and tan with brass accents. The two-level layout created a grand entrance effect, while plants, beautiful hardwood floors, and incandescent lighting added a warm, comfortable feeling. "In a word," says Sandi Bubbert, owner of The Acadian Bakers, "the club was classy."

Kindred Spirits was an immediate success. It provided a haven where women could meet, have conversations, and develop friendships and relationships. Security guards or HPD officers were available to walk customers to their cars at night, and taxis were called for those who had had too much to drink.

According to Maureen Howard, who helped devise a nonalcoholic drink menu, "Even if you didn’t know people there, you walked in and felt right at home. It was a neighborhood pub where you felt a great sense of compassion, camaraderie, and safety."

"Kindred Spirits was a family place in the larger sense," says former city controller George Greanias, who visited the bar while campaigning and then became a patron. "It was a friendly neighborhood bar, a gathering place for the entire community."

"It was one of the first places where women started really getting in touch with who they were as women rather than reaching into a strictly butch/femme role cabinet," said Vicci Lindsey, bartender throughout the Kindred Spirits years, and an integral part of the club’s zeitgeist. "A new generation was coming of age, and you could see a new sense of freedom growing."

One of the keys to the club’s success was Coleman’s constant, hands-on involvement. A tall woman, her deep voice seemed to come from behind her soft brown eyes. Almost nightly, she stood at the door greeting guests when they arrived, shaking their hands, and making everyone feel special. "I felt that it belonged to me," remembers Cecily McBroom, one of the club’s employees. "Most women felt that way. Kindred Spirits was a variety of individuals who came together to share space for the same reason. You could go there and be accepted, feel good about yourself, and have a great time."

"The elegance of the bar provided many people with a deeper sense of dignity and pride about being gay," recalls Astrid Sheil, the club’s original DJ. One night a year, the club hosted the "Friends and Families of Gays" event. Tablecloths, fresh flowers, and bottles of champagne were added to the tables, and people had an opportunity to bring their friends and family who would not normally have gone into a gay bar. Understanding and acceptance were highlighted, and it was not uncommon to see fathers dancing with their sons and mothers dancing with their daughters at these events.

In an era when the men’s and women’s communities didn’t interact as much as they do now, Kindred Spirits was also groundbreaking in its welcoming approach to men.

"Marion was a leader and she wanted everyone to grow together, so she extended a family environment, making it clear that both men and women were welcome," says state representative Debra Danburg.

Indeed, Coleman would go out to the various community organizations, ask how Kindred Spirits might help, and bring information back to the club’s weekly staff meetings.

There was one meeting in particular that stood out, recalls Iris Rodriguez, a long-time employee. "I remember Coleman coming into a staff meeting one day and telling us about a disease that was beginning to claim the lives of gay men. This was during the early ’80s, and Kaposi’s Sarcoma was being discussed for the first time. There wasn’t yet an acronym for AIDS, let alone an understanding of it."

Coleman’s concern for and dedication to AIDS awareness only increased. When she saw her friends in the men’s community getting sick, she responded by educating herself and her staff with everything she could find out. Additionally, she set about educating the community at large by holding numerous AIDS fundraisers for both individuals and organizations. In conjunction with the Red Cross, Kindred Spirits organized and sponsored the first blood drive in Houston geared solely toward procuring blood for those with HIV/AIDS.

"I can’t tell you how many nights I was at the door and someone would come up and ask me for references for a doctor," Coleman recalls. "When people asked me for information, or when people came up and volunteered for things, that’s when I knew Kindred Spirits was doing the job I wanted it to do."

In a mere three years, Kindred Spirits was such a success that it outgrew its quarters; in 1984, Coleman moved the bar into a large club space on Richmond, just inside the Loop. "AIDS was becoming more prevalent, especially with women," Coleman explained, "and we needed a larger place where we could do fundraisers with a larger dance floor. We wanted it to be a place where we could raise major money for people who were dying and couldn’t afford anything else." Now the club stood on its own piece of land and had a large Kindred Spirits billboard visible from the freeway, proudly proclaiming the presence of the women’s bar.

In addition to all that Kindred Spirits gave back to the community, it also provided fun, ranging from happy hour to live entertainment, including poetry readings, plays, singers, musicians . . . even cloggers. Many talented young women were given a start, such as comedian Nancy Ford. Women from all over the country performed at the weeklong Women’s Arts Festival. The bar was visited by such notables as Gloria Steinem, Rita Mae Brown, and Tommy Tune, as well as political figures like former mayor Kathryn Whitmire. State representative Debra Danburg judged the yearly Halloween costume contest.

Ask Lindsey what made Kindred Spirits special and she’ll tell you that it was the people who came in. "It was a big stepping stone between where we were in 1980 and where we would go next. Kindred Spirits represents a historical era that many of us shared. We were growing into ourselves as women. It was something of a rebirth that we needed to go through to move on into being more of ourselves. It was a time when we were still learning to walk. We all grew up together, no matter which direction we ultimately went in once we moved on."

We did move on. Kindred Spirits led to the Ranch, which led to the current Chances three-plex, offering separate areas for country dancing, top 40 dancing, and (relatively) quiet conversation. Kindred Spirits helped us realize that we have a variety of interests, and today we are freely exploring them.

Come re-experience Kindred Spirits at the Kindred Spirits Reunion, sponsored by A Christmas Songfest. The event is planned for March 30, 8 p.m.—1 a.m., Hornberger Center, with a DJ and plenty of room for dancing. Keys West has graciously donated their staff for the event. Proceeds will be donated to BMUMC/HIV Medical Services. Tickets $20 in advance or $25 at the door. Advance tickets are available at Acadian Bakery, Basic Brothers, Bering Memorial United Methodist Church, Keys West, Meteor, and House of Coleman (713/523-2521).

Jacquelyn K. Hedden recently relocated to Houston from Dallas and lives with her girlfriend and two cats with bad attitudes. She enjoys playing with words and pouncing through language, and believes strongly in the healing powers of ice cream and women supporting women. A telecommuter by nature, she exists in a perpetual state of furry slippers and hot tea, and can be reached at Elysium25@aol.com.