Community Groups for Older Gay Folk

• LOAF (Lesbians Over Age Fifty, or Loafers, Inc.)

LOAF is a Houston social networking and support group (and as a result, rather apolitical) for lesbians over age 50 and their partners, whatever their age. LOAF meets the third Sunday of each month at Houston Mission Church, 1505 Nevada (at Commonwealth). Evenly represented with single and coupled women, LOAF currently has about 80 active members.

The first meeting of LOAF was October 1987 at Womynspace with six women attending. "We have never missed a monthly meeting–even for a holiday or the Comets," says Arden Eversmeyer, president and founder.

When asked to describe LOAF, Arden wrote: "Diverse, funny, compassionate, creative, and supportive.... So few old women are truly out. When some occasionally walk in the parade or speak to groups such as H.A.T.C.H., the affirmations they receive are wonderful. We have had several members die over the years, and the support provided by the group has been great.

"The longevity of LOAF, I think, has to do with the fact that there are no rigid rules. Decisions are made by the membership at monthly meetings, and we are flexible enough to change when needed. Several members of long standing are very closeted, and stay connected through the newsletter. We meet different needs in different ways."

Call 713/869-1482 for more information or to subscribe to LOAF’s informative, entertaining newsletter.

• PrimeTimers Houston

The PrimeTimers are an active fun group of older gay and bisexual men who meet twice a week socially at various Montrose restaurants. With chapters worldwide, PrimeTimers was founded in 1987 in Boston by retired professor Woody Baldwin, who felt that in today's society which caters almost exclusively to youth, there was a need for social and cultural organizations to aid and support the aging gay and bisexual man.

Asked to describe themselves, the Houston PrimeTimers wrote:

1) We’re fun. We try to approach everything with good humor and high expectations.

2) We’re friendly. After a "certain age" it becomes difficult to make good, lasting, gay friendships. This is one place where you can do that.

3) We’re tolerant. Many of our members had to spend much of their lives in the closet and feel comfortable that way. We respect that. Others are totally out and we appreciate that also. And of course there are all grades in between. We respect them all.

4) We’re inclusive. We are older gay men (and anyone who likes them). Past history, economic status, political or religious affiliation, still working or retired, very active or just so-so–that don’t matter to us. We are all of these.

5) We’re peppy. Staying active, whether physically or just conversationally in a group, is a great way to fight the effects of aging. At least we believe so.

When asked what was their most moving moment this year, they wrote: "One of our members passed away during surgery this summer. The way we have been able to act as support group for his partner, who is also a member, has reminded all of us just what this club is for.

"Our motto (if we had one)–Friendship Forever."

You can get in touch with the PrimeTimers at 713/867-3903, or by e-mailing primetimer_houston@yahoo.com. The website at primetimersworldwide.org has a link to the Houston chapter, as well as the other four Texas chapters.

• O.L.O.C., Inc. (Old Lesbians Organizing for Change)

O.L.O.C. is a national organization with their office in Houston. Formed in August 1989 in San Francisco after the second West Coast Conference By and For Old Lesbians, O.L.O.C. is open for membership to lesbians 60 years or older. Anyone under age 60 may be a supporter.

Although there are no meetings for members, O.L.O.C. has now had two Gatherings (conferences) with women coming from all over the U.S., Canada, and the U.K.; another is planned for August 2002. "The Gatherings are powerful," they write, "–an amazing group of politically active old women sharing ideas, experiences, and our lives in general."

O.L.O.C. is currently developing the Old Lesbian Oral Herstory Project (see "Rebels and Survivors," p. 62), collecting taped histories from lesbians 70 years of age or older all over the U.S.

Asked to describe O.L.O.C., they said: "Political, powerful, active, visionaries, beautiful." Their motto? "Ageism is a Social Disease." Also, they use the motto of disability activists: "Nothing About Us Without Us."

"Ageism is one of the most prevelant oppressions we have and is tied to sexism. To be old in our society is to be shameful. To be able to pass as young is desirable. We use the word OLD, and not the euphemisms ‘elder,’ ‘older,’ ‘senior,’ ‘golden,’ etc., which are used to mask our shame. The organization has made great strides in 10 years–we have representation on the White House Conference on Aging. But most important is to be heard and represented by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, Lambda, etc."

To learn more, call 713/869-1482, or e-mail chardenea@worldnet.att.net, or look at the website at www.OLOC.org.

• For Mature Audiences Only

Bering Memorial United Methodist Church sponsers For Mature Audiences Only, an inclusive multi-issue health and wellness community for persons over age 35 to celebrate the successes and share the challenges of midlife changes. Topics include ageing and ageism, mentoring, promoting health and wellness, job loss and career changes, retirement, burnout, living single or coupled, maturing relationships, mortality, and more. Tuesdays, 7 p.m., Bering Memorial UMC, 1440 Harold, Room 218. Call Russ Robinett at 713/526-1017, ext. 206, or e-mail rbmumc@clearsail.net.

From the O.L.O.C. website:

It is Ageist ...

• to consider "young" a compliment, "old" a derogatory synonym for ugly, decrepit, out-of-date. ("You don’t look your age.")

• to speak/do for an old lesbian instead of letting her speak/do for herself, and to assume she needs help.

• to view an old lesbian either as a burden or a role model, rather than as an equal with whom a reciprocal relationship is desirable.

• to patronize a courageous old lesbian by trivializing her anger as "feistiness." (Would you call Superman "feisty"?)

• to categorize an outspoken old lesbian as "complaining," "difficult," or "crotchety."

• to assume automatically that an old lesbian is asexual.

• to be unsupportive of an old lesbian looking for a partner, or disrespectful of an old lesbian’s choice to be single.

• not to confront ageist remarks because they are "not really meant that way."