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Bare
Attention
Stressed?
Maybe your life just isn't ordinary enough: Noticing
the amazing and simple here and now with mindfulness
meditation
by
Micki Fine, M.Ed., L.P.C.
Jack
Kornfield, author of A Path With Heart and founder of
Spirit Rock Meditation Center, said, "At the end of
life, our questions are very simple: Did I live fully?
Did I love well?" Many of those with terminal illnesses
have experienced this, and have much to teach. But perhaps
these questions should be asked well before the end
of life too. They can be a wake-up call for everyone.
Mindfulness is the path by which you can heed the call
to live fully and be well.
What
is Mindfulness?
People
generally walk around on automatic pilot. More often
than not, we are not really where we are. When we are
eating, many of us are reading, working, or worrying
about the past or future instead of tasting each bite
of our food. Mindfulness is a way to break free from
being on autopilot and to wake up to the experience
of what's really going on around us while it's actually
happening. A working definition of mindfulness is paying
attention, in the present moment, without judgment.
Many
people wonder why being more aware of the moment is
important and how it can help them. Imagine coming home
from work after a busy day with lots of chores ahead
of you. Waiting for you is your partner or loved one
who wants to tell you some wonderful news. If you are
preoccupied with your "urgent" business, you may go
through the motions of listening, perhaps even rushing
off before they are through. You may miss the happy
look on your partner's face, or the inflection in his
or her voice that touches your heart. If you can truly
focus on the conversation and not let your mind drift
to planning and fretting, you can find more pleasure
in the moment, open your heart to the joy of what's
actually happening in your life, right here, right now.
Our
everyday life is full of "ordinary" things that we take
for granted, simple marvelous events, like smelling
the delicate spray from an orange skin you're peeling
over breakfast, or the jokester co-worker who pops into
your office, or just the delight of brushing your hair,
touching your partner's shoulder, sinking into your
pillow. To illustrate, imagine that you have a toothache.
It is painful. When it goes away, you glory in the absence
of pain. "Oh! How marvelous," you think with relief,
"to not have that pain clouding my mind. The world seems
so bright and new." However, after awhile you take the
"non-toothache" for granted. But the world is still
just as delightful, it's just that we've lost our eyes
to see.
But
we don't need to lose this capacity for appreciation
and marvel. If we focus on our "ordinary" experiences,
bring our attention to the orange and the pillow, it
can help us appreciate that our lives are full of abundance,
perhaps right in the midst of difficulty.
But
what about those difficult times? We seem to have a
natural aversion to pain: Just as we draw away from
the hot stove, we cringe in the face of emotional difficulty
and stressful times. Make it go away! Or, second best,
ignore it. Go have a smoke, a drink, eat half the refrigerator
... or stay very busy. These are very temporary diversions
that do not resolve the difficulty and often make the
situation worse.
The
mindfulness approach says: Just watch. Watch the mind,
the emotions, watch the pain arise. That painful emotion
is just a feeling, it's actually not a hot stove, it's
not going to kill you. In watching your emotions, try
and let go of all those judgments: "Oh, this is horrible,
I don't want to feel this." Or, "Now this is fun, let's
do some more." Mindfulness can help us nurture a calm
awareness within a stressful situation and gain insight
into how to handle the stress more resourcefully.
The
medical establishment is beginning to embrace the techniques
of mindfulness and meditation. Jon Kabat-Zinn (author
of Wherever You Are, There You Are and Full Catastrophe
Living) founded a Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction
center at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center
Research to teach and research the medical applications
of mindfulness meditation. Research at the UMass center
and elsewhere has found mindfulness meditation to offer
a variety of solid medical benefits, both physical and
psychological: boosting the immune system; reduction
of chronic pain; reduction of anxiety, panic, and depression;
increased self-awareness, self-trust, and self-acceptance;
adapting to change more fluidly; having a more relaxed
attitude toward life; improved concentration and creativity.
Mindfulness
Meditation
The
skill of bringing calm, nonjudgmental awareness to our
experience is developed through mindfulness meditation.
Many people think they cannot meditate because they
cannot quiet their minds. But what you need to realize
is that everyone has a wandering mind; in mindfulness
meditation, activity of the mind is not considered a
distraction, but part of the practice. By applying nonjudgmental
awareness to the activity of the mind and returning
to the breath, we begin to awaken from automatic thinking,
that feeling that we're just tumbling through our lives
on automatic pilot. We experience deep relaxation and
self-acceptance, and develop the skill of carefully
paying attention. It is a process of growing from reacting
automatically, unconsciously, to a calm awareness of
pro-active choice, change, and responsibility. Commitment
to a daily mindfulness practice fosters physical healing
and relaxation, and dramatic changes in beliefs, attitudes,
habits, and behaviors.
The
art of paying attention developed through meditation
helps us focus on the present moment throughout our
day. As in meditation, we use the breath as a point
of focus when cultivating awareness in daily life. For
example, if you notice that you are not present to your
experience, you can become mindful by focusing on your
breath and then broadening that focus to other aspects
of your experience. We use the breath because it is
always with us; it connects us to our bodies and is
the link between the body, the mind, and vast internal
resources.
While
learning mindfulness meditation, I encourage people
to be very gentle and patient with themselves and not
to try too hard to relax (which is what most people
think meditation is about). Trying too hard will only
add pressure. Mindfulness meditation is actually a nonstriving
process in which we make time for "being" and "non-doing."
This is difficult to grasp because our culture places
so much value on doing more, having more, and getting
ahead. So patience and nonjudgmental acceptance of oneself
is important.
Mindfulness
meditation practice can help you experience life to
its fullest, deal with the stress that exacerbates your
symptoms, and know that you find stillness and peace
everywhere.
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