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THIS ISSUE
> NEWS & COMMENT > WHAT A WORLD
How Hot Is It?
Summertime, and the living is not so easy.
By Nancy Ford
It's hot.
It's so hot.
It's
road-raging,
fluid-forcing,
lunch-hurling,
bayou-boiling,
scalp-burning,
heat-stroking,
labor-inducing,
A/C-collapsing,
sole-blistering,
soul-blistering,
lung-scorching,
sleep-depriving,
cornea-cracking,
Popsicle-craving,
polar-bear-killing,
California-burning,
hurricane-forming,
sweat-evaporating,
Jesus-resurrecting,
mayonnaise-turning,
liver-spot-darkening,
Paris-Hilton-wilting,
dog-tongue-extending,
Wendy's-Frosty-melting,
positive-attitude-melting,
Michael-Jackson-bleaching,
rolling-blackout-necessitating,
drag-queen-makeup-smearing,
new-silk-jacket-armpit-staining,
frittata-on-the-sidewalk-baking,
inappropriate-tube-top-wearing,
naked-flesh-on-car-seat-burning,
An-Inconvenient-Truth -confirming,
Reliant-Energy-stockholder-smirking,
7-Words-You-Can't-Say-On-TV-inducing,
you-know-I-love-you-but-don't-touch-me,
whyohwhyohwhyoh-did-I-ever-leave-Ohio,
can't-go-outside-until-well-after-midnight,
Homophobic-Rep.-Sally-Kern-at-SpankFest,
James-Dobson-at-Phyllis-and-Del's-wedding,
inspiration-draining,
too-hot-to-write-funny
hot.
Let's try this again next month when it's cooler.
Got a comment?—feedback@outsmartmagazine.com.
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