Love Together: Interviews with Longtime Male Couples on Healthy Intimacy and Communication
When author Tim Clausen was looking for examples of healthy gay male relationships, he found shockingly few. To remedy that, Clausen decided to publish Love Together, a book of interviews he collected from committed gay couples around the country. By documenting almost two dozen relationships that have thrived for anywhere from 11 to 65 years, Clausen hopes to inspire and guide those who are looking for a love that lasts.
One of the stories in the book belongs to Houston’s 2015 Male Pride Marshal, Ryan Levy. Levy met Ian Eastveld when they were both 21, and the interview covers their 18-year relationship. He recounts how they survived an initial long-distance relationship, law school, career changes, and going into business together. Levy also spills their secrets on communication, intimacy, romance, and dealing with family reactions. Their story is sweet without being sugary, with a heavy dose of humor mixed in for good measure. (For instance, when Levy was hesitant to ask the cantor of his synagogue to perform a same-sex commitment ceremony, the cantor allayed his fears by saying, “The problem is not that you’re two men—it’s that Ian’s not Jewish!” Levy also shares his stock response whenever his mother asks when he and Eastveld are going to have children: “We keep trying, Mom, but nothing’s happening!”)
Clausen has done a remarkable job presenting the stories of men who have proven that a long-term relationship is both attainable and worthwhile. He provides encouragement to those who are still looking for a partner—and a roadmap to budding young couples who might not have role models to emulate. Love Together is a wonderful read filled with stories that provide hope, joy, and a few laughs.