Moms, the more the merrier
by Justin Adams
People always say my mother Lucy and I look exactly alike. With the exception of our stunning red hair, I used to disagree. But ever since my high school tennis team renamed her after the beautiful and talented Julianne Moore, I take it as a shared compliment. Growing up, I was always a bit of a mama’s boy. Lucy was a loving mother who always expected the absolute best out of her children. She was also someone who was impossible to deceive, and more than a few times I regretted my efforts to do so.
For the first 17 years of my life, I was blessed to be raised by the most amazing mother and father a son could ask for. We were a typical suburban family made up of two working parents, a daughter, a son, and a yellow lab. Then, during homecoming weekend of my junior year, my parents sat my sister and I down and told us their marriage was ending. Although the news was shocking, they remained friends and their love and support for us never wavered.
The following summer, my mother asked me how I would feel about her dating a woman. I was stunned, to say the least. Growing up in a conservative Christian household, I had never considered that my own mother might be sharing the same feelings as I, her deeply closeted son. After posing some sort of insensitive question regarding heaven and hell, I said I only wanted her to be happy, and it was her decision as to whom she was going to date. It was a difficult time for mom as she navigated through family tension and strained relationships. All the while, I was secretly assuring myself that I would rather live my life in the closet than subject myself to that kind of judgment and pain.
Within the next year, my mom had met a beautiful fun-loving woman named Lea Ann. It was a storybook lesbian romance. They met at a sports bar, and one week later the U-Hauls were being scheduled for the big move. The addition of Lea Ann and her daughter, Stephanie, to my life was seamless—though I’m surely glossing over the difficulties of living with three women. Lea Ann and I instantly bonded over our love of sports and sarcasm. I often tell people Lea Ann has the ability to carry on a conversation with a coma patient. Her energy is so warm and welcoming, people naturally gravitate her way.
Witnessing the loving partnership between my mommies instilled in me the confidence to eventually come out to my friends and family. My moms were always there to provide guidance, reassurance, and most importantly, caution during my first few years of gay life. Whenever I brought a boy home, they would each settle into their predictable roles. Lucy would begin her interrogation, with the sole goal of determining if he was willing to provide her with grandchildren. Meanwhile, Lea Ann would settle in over a beer and possibly a game of darts to try and size up the potential suitor.
Over the last decade, my relationship with my mom has transitioned from the normal parent/child roles to one of genuine friendship. Whether it be attending opening day at the Rangers, playing a GLTA tennis tournament, or just relaxing at the lake for a weekend, we all look forward to spending time with each other as a group. I will never take for granted how lucky I am to be Lucy’s son. The addition of Lea Ann to my life has guaranteed more laughter and the comfort of knowing my mom has found a loving and devoted partner.
Justin Adams is a guest contributor to OutSmart magazine.
Sparking Light Across Communities
PrayerSpark offers truly interfaith blessings while giving back to the community
Just in time for Mother’s Day, a new type of way to express your appreciation has come along. PrayerSpark is an organization that has teamed with leading voices in multiple faith communities in order to offer specialized prayers on a person’s behalf. The request for a blessing is nominally free, but different donation levels—starting at 99 cents—will result in different responses from the leaders.
Founded by Michael Feder, PrayerSpark seeks to fill a need for people who believe themselves to be spiritually inclined even if they aren’t religious. Teaming with spiritual leaders in Buddhism, Aboriginal Spirituality, Native American Spirituality, Hinduism, Sikhism, Islam, Judaism, and multiple sects of Christianity (Catholicism, Lutheranism, and Methodism), PrayerSpark hand-selects leaders who are committed to civil rights and devoted to freedom of belief. The organization boasts that it will only work with people and retailers who are LGBT-friendly.
When requesting a blessing from one of PrayerSpark, you choose from a list of general topics and events related to your desired blessing. Then you will be given a list of the spiritual leaders from whom you can request the prayers. You can request a free prayer which would be the end of that interaction with PrayerSpark, or you can choose from other options which involve a response. The responses come in either e-mail, postcard, or greeting card with donations of $0.99, $2.99, and $4.99, respectively. Each response is personalized to the person for whom the prayer was requested, and 82 percent of the donation will go directly to the spiritual leader whose causes can be found on their individual pages.
If you are interested in learning more about PrayerSpark and their spiritual leaders, or if you would like to request a blessing, you can find them at prayerspark.com. —Bradley Donalson