The race to November 2008 is on. Expect toxic emissions.
By Sally Sheklaw
Dana: Good morning, Drew. Welcome, racing fans. Looks like a hot one.
Drew: Hello, Dana. Nothing like a year-long race to fire up a crowd.
Dana: Hope you can hear our trackside commentary over those revving engines, folks.
Drew: This 2008 contest between the ArArs and the Q&As is one heckuva race.
Dana: That’s right, Drew. The Radical Right ArArs, driving their same old message, take on the new and improved, bulked-up Queer and Allied Q&As.
Drew: Your basic Good versus Evil.
Dana: To me it’s a matter of fairness.
Drew: You calling me a bad sport?
Dana: I call ’em like I see ’em, pal.
Drew: The ArArs are a fine, traditional team.
Dana: Then again, the Q&As are in excellent form—lots of heart and more savvy.
Drew: The ArArs run on tried-and-true Abomination and Damnation stamina. Gotta admit these religious nuts have guts.
Dana: I’ll give ’em that. But the Q&As have souped-up Fairness and Equality horsepower—and lots of new supporters.
Drew: The ArArs get all the support they need from God and the churches.
Dana: The ArArs don’t have a corner on religion. Only difference is the Q&As are sponsored by Do Unto Others, Love Thy Neighbor, and Judge Not.
Drew: That’s cheating.
Dana: That’s the Truth.
Drew: We’ll see in November ’08. Meanwhile, this crushing test of power and strength is about to begin.
Dana: The green flag is in the air.
Drew: And they’re off!
Dana: What’s all that spew coming from the ArArs?
Drew: Just your standard dirty air.
Dana: Pyew! The ArArs sure can hurl the slurs.
Drew: This race doesn’t restrict toxic emissions.
Dana: True, but c’mon, we’ve got kids in the crowd. The ArAr’s No Special Rights smoke is totally clouding the raceway.
Drew: That trick gives the ArArs primo traction. Whoa! They’re already discharging their Homosexual Child Molester marbles.
Dana: OK, this is getting disgusting and dangerous.
Drew: The ArArs get great mileage with scare tactics.
Dana: That they do. The Q&As are sticking to the Fairness strategy all the way.
Drew: Fairness, shmairness. Look at those ArArs go! They’re out to win at any cost.
Dana: But into the first turn the Q&As are taking the moral high ground.
Drew: Hey! Morality is strictly ArAr territory.
Dana: I don’t think so, pal. Just look at the Q&As ride their momentum.
Drew: Where’s all that power coming from?
Dana: Could it be from their win in Massachusetts? Or Melissa rockin’ the HRC forum? Those two guys getting married in Iowa?
Drew: Unfair advantage. Plus the ArArs had that Larry Craig Wide Stance setback. But they can still regroup to win this one in ’08.
Dana: Remains to be seen, Drew. There are more fans than ever behind the Q&As.
Drew: Got a point there. Still, the ArArs have been at it for centuries—Crusades, Inquisitions, Stonings. Lots of success under their hood.
Dana: It’s a long way to the finish line, buddy.
Drew: That it is. Stay tuned, folks!
Award-winning columnist Sally Sheklow has provided commentary on the race for social justice since 1999.
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